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  1. S

    2 months after infadelity...

    I didn't expect him to I hoped he would make a choice that reflected a concern for the health of our marriage. It is one thing to say you want it to work and your spouse means more to you than anything... It is another thing to mean it. He went outside our marriage, he got a gf and hid it...
  2. S

    2 months after infadelity...

    What he does from here could make or break it... I guess when I ended it with H.R. because "I wanted my marriage to work" (that was the reason I gave him)... I hoped hubs would do the same with his gf... I didn't want to pressure him or force the choice on him in any way. I wanted it to be his...
  3. S

    Glossary and Definitions

    ERP - Erotic Role Play, a term used to describe romantic interactions in an online setting.
  4. S

    2 months after infadelity...

    ... and life just gets better... Look, I am sorry so many of you are hell bent on beating divorce into my head. I did not make the decision to be his wife lightly nor will I make the decision to leave him that way. I have an ex husband already, an abusive alcoholic who in recent years would...
  5. S

    Small world! I noticed you were from Apple Valley. I was born and raised down there. :)

    Small world! I noticed you were from Apple Valley. I was born and raised down there. :)
  6. S

    2 months after infadelity...

    Thank you, everyone who took the time to respond. I have since broke it of with the other guy. As for my marriage, just going to keep trying to figure out if we can work. In many ways we are still extremely functional. We hide all the dramma from the kids. Hubs is spending markedly less time on...
  7. S

    2 months after infadelity...

    I am sorry for coming here and falling apart on your forum. I probably should just bite the bullet and go to the shrink. I thought that this would get easier with time... but as the days and weeks go on it just hurts more as I start to realize the gravity of what was lost with his decision to...
  8. S

    Why and how did you get into poly?

    When did you know you were Poly? I am curious to know when people realized they were poly? I guess I am still figuring out where I fall into this spectrum.
  9. S

    Detonation in 10... 9... 8...

    Thank you for that :o
  10. S

    Detonation in 10... 9... 8...

    I need advice more than ever! Please help! Oh boy last night was hell... for those of you who probably haven't read my other threads.. Let me catch you up to date. My hubs and I have been together for 11 years. On Sept 26th I found out he had a gf. Apparently his gf was also married and to...
  11. S

    Hubs gf's husband...

    You bring up a lot of great points. I def have my concerns about that and I have voiced them to a degree... He will on occasion come to me about one of her gripes about him and paint it in the form of a "What would you do if I did this?" sort of thing. I will say that my responses tend to...
  12. S

    Hubs gf's husband...

    Thanks for the information.
  13. S

    Experimenting with an Openish Relationship

    kdt - Thanks for the info on jealousy. At this point everything is still fresh enough that it is evolving every day as we learn where our boundaries are at this point. Just one hurdle over another. The biggest issue I see down the road is, I see the online dating as a stepping stone to...
  14. S

    Hubs gf's husband...

    Yeah... I have told him that I can't really approve of what they are doing until the situation has changed. I will say that when I first found out about their thing there was a lot I didn't know... and my hubs is just vague enough that there is so much room for confusion and misunderstanding...
  15. S

    Hubs gf's husband...

    Thanks :) When I said I needed to figure out who I needed to be I meant as far as my own reactions and responces. Situations like this can bring out the worst in people and I am striving to maintain some peace and balance. In the months before I found out about his gf I had been researching...
  16. S

    Hubs gf's husband...

    11 years and two kids makes it a rather large undertaking to separate myself from the situation. It has not been an easy process trying to come to terms with this. But separating myself seems a last resort. What is the solution to fixing a marriage after cheating? I mean granted there is...
  17. S

    Hubs gf's husband...

    I am still new here and new to the whole polyamory thing in my marriage. To clarify we are calling it "openish" as at this point we are only testing the waters with online relationships. The question I have is, with my hubs gf she is also married but in an unstable marriage where she is...
  18. S

    Experimenting with an Openish Relationship

    Thank you for that. This one little piece of advice triggered a great convo between us. With us... we have always been very into each other that way. But the way he wants to spend time is just hanging out in our room talking. So... it is a little different and when I prefer something more...
  19. S

    Experimenting with an Openish Relationship

    My husband and I have been together for 11 years come Dec. Sept 26th I learned he had an online girl friend he met in a vid game he plays. I think on some level I had suspected it but my policy on cheating had always been "I don't want to know" but when the cat is out of the bag... there is...
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