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  1. Velvet

    The "How Are You Doing" Thread (redux)

    I'm wondering if I tell people at work that I'm sterile, will they stop bringing up baby talk at every opportunity? After drinking too much coffee this morning I asked my boss if I could leave early because I felt sick from coffee. It was a slow day she said yes. I let my coworker know I'm...
  2. Velvet

    History in progress

    I left a cliffhanger in that last post... I wanted to mention how I discovered polyamory as a way of life. Between 2006 and 2007 I left Ave because I thought my feelings for other people (BB in particular) made me a bad person.I thought I must have been born to lie and cheat so I left Ave...
  3. Velvet

    Describe your sex life with a movie title

    no one said this yet? hee hee Naked Lunch & also Kissing Cousins
  4. Velvet

    History in progress

    Some baggage... I feel very fortunate that I have never had to date anyone in "the real world". The last time I dated anyone new, was shortly after graduating High School. My best friend from school! How I came to date someone whom I had always had a crush on, but never thought would date me...
  5. Velvet

    History in progress

    Part 2-My first love BB --PART TWO After that he talked to me many times that I don't have any obligation to him, and he encouraged me to try and like boys my own age. If I didn't love him anymore it would be ok. I adamantly dismissed his concerns, but I put them here so you could read...
  6. Velvet

    History in progress

    Part 1-My first love BB My way of coming into Polyamory wasn't very smooth, and I hurt the people I care about the most. I never cheated, but if I had feelings probably would have been hurt just as bad. Super way too long story incoming! I feel like I have to write out this whole thing...
  7. Velvet

    How to help my partner w/ Insecurities?

    Thanks November Rain, and every one. I brought up the subject with Ave. Since I had only done a little bit of reading around we decided to take the advice of going through the process and trying things out together. Which should do a lot of good, we spend lots of time together and work well as...
  8. Velvet

    How to help my partner w/ Insecurities?

    Makes sense That does make sense. I may have over represented his insecurities. He must feel insecure a lot, but he hides it and it doesn't show much in his everyday life. I am one of the few people who he really let's his guard down around, and allows himself to be himself. Something we do as...
  9. Velvet

    How to help my partner w/ Insecurities?

    He has to help himself Cleo, Yes, he does have to help himself. I wish I could facilitate himself into helping himself. Without an ultimatum such as you went through. That sort of strategy from me 1) would be forced and ungenuine and 2) do more harm than good. Most of his insecurities are...
  10. Velvet

    How to help my partner w/ Insecurities?

    I only just was shown this website www.morethantwo.com Anyway, from the website, one of the articles was Relationship Assumptions. And one of the bad assumptions was "My partner is with me because I tricked him or her…". It must be almost every other day my partner Ave tells me this. Then I...
  11. Velvet

    Desired destinations?

    … StudentofLife, I'm glad you shared that 'more than two' website. I had not yet seen it linked within this forum yet either. Even though I have been sailing the poly seas for about six years now, I still second guess myself at everything and I don't feel like it's an old easy habit. And when...
  12. Velvet

    Need Help with Son hitting puberty

    Thanks, but I'm ok. My parents were always very controlling. But that is the highlight crazy moment in my experience. Usually my parents left me alone and didn't give me much attention. I knew it was weird then and now, but I've actually been able to get past that and have a fairly good adult...
  13. Velvet

    Need Help with Son hitting puberty

    Just the idea of it... Since a lot of this thread postings is how parents involve/influence/intrude/whatever their children's lives I wanted to answer this. More so on when my parents thought I first started being sexual. When I was 14 I was in a sort of long distance relationship. The guy I...
  14. Velvet

    "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policies: Merged threads/General discussion

    Feel free to use my post. I definitely respect the privacy of my lover, but it does occur to me there is no obligation to "tell" in our relationship. I didn't word it as well in my first post. If telling happens it is voluntary. And it is likely there are people I haven't been told about and I...
  15. Velvet

    "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policies: Merged threads/General discussion

    This thread is quite a read... Reading this thread made me realize I pretty much have a don't ask don't tell guidelines in my relationships. As metamours the two men I am with only know what sort contraception/STD preventing safety is being used, well and I guess that there is physical...
  16. Velvet

    Any "straight laced" folks on here?

    In a way I aspire to be straight laced. My natural inclinations are to be a messy, disorganized, forgetful hoarder. And I am in a constant battle to make myself put away the dishes or remember what day of the week it is. In my relationships my partners are both predictable, organized, and quite...
  17. Velvet

    Is a diagnosable mental illness a red flag for you?

    hmm In and of itself alone, a diagnosis of any sort would never deter me from being friends with or pursuing a relationship. What would worry me, and be a red flag, is anyone using medications to treat a diagnosed mental illness. From my experiences and of those in my family, I am against...
  18. Velvet

    History in progress

    random Random thoughts I really wish I could change the name of this thread. I expect only want to keep my polyamorous relationships for life. I don't expect to ever fall in love with anyone else again...but I am not closing all doors without consideration. I really want to combine my...
  19. Velvet

    Need Help with Son hitting puberty

    I'm not a parent but I wanted to comment. I think honesty really is the best policy when it comes to a parent teaching their child. If you have some set rules that something like porn isn't allowed, then try to come up with a plan with your son on how that plan can be followed through. What...
  20. Velvet

    The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

    Just lovely JaneQ, That short paragraph is wonderful. I think it captures the best hopes of anyone starts down the path of polyamory when they already have an established partner. I'm glad you threw in your blog so I could catch it. :)
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