Search results

  1. LilacViolin

    Word Association Game!

  2. LilacViolin

    Word Association Game!

  3. LilacViolin

    Framing Intimacy

    I wonder if a level of interdependence is an aspect of intimacy as well. I can't think of a relationship that is of substance that doesn't have some level of mutual benefit. I think you can have similar levels of dependency on multiple people (emotional support from close friends, for example)...
  4. LilacViolin

    Framing Intimacy

    Baby in my arms so I am a one-handed typer. Please excuse typos. For me, the core of intimacy is the willingness to allow someone to see the true me, even if that does not happen. For example, there is an intimacy with my children - they do not know everything about me but, if it was needed, I...
  5. LilacViolin

    Framing Intimacy

    Have you read anything by Brene Brown? I think you'd like (and agree) with her.
  6. LilacViolin


    Hi, nice to meet you.
  7. LilacViolin

    Word Association Game!

  8. LilacViolin

    Comfort with particular people...

    I think there is a difference between "I feel jealous because this relationship is happening" and "I feel uncomfortable because it is happening with a specific person." If you are uncomfortable with a potential lover of your girlfriend, I think you should voice your concern. It is her...
  9. LilacViolin

    Waiting, or maybe not.

    Thank you November. And yeah, I know, I know, I'm not patient at all. I'm learning it though. :p A lot of what she's processing and saying is not comforting. It isn't necessarily painful, but it isn't comforting. Knowing what she's processing is comforting though, rather than presuming I...
  10. LilacViolin

    Where are you from ?

    We're in Dallas. Looking for friends :)
  11. LilacViolin

    Waiting, or maybe not.

    Lol, crickets. :p
  12. LilacViolin

    Waiting, or maybe not.

    **Disclaimer: I am sick with a fever, and I think it makes sense but I'm not absolutely sure.** The uncertainty continues... I have been dating Rose for two years. Last weekend she visited Orchid for the first time in a little more than two years. (Yes, I am the rebound girl) They really...
  13. LilacViolin

    New-ish to polyamory, looking for friends

    I definitely understand what you're saying! I know that there are some lovely people here and there are several meetups that you can join locally.
  14. LilacViolin

    Trashtalking by partners and potential partners: What are your rules and tolerances?

    I think, because emotions are involved, a person gets a warning. Something along the lines of "You may not like my primary, but you are with me and need to respect my partner(s)." I'd say it with kindness but I would say it. If the trash-talking continues I would tell the person that I was...
  15. LilacViolin

    New girl here!

    Hi :) Sounds like your journey into polyamory is just beginning too. I have found that this is a great board for these discussions.
  16. LilacViolin


    So, Rose returned home from seeing Orchid. Upon returning she told me that she would like to be best friends, affectionate friends, but friends. No sex. She said those two words quite a few times actually. I feel rejected and sad about the whole thing. Rose told me that she is not...
  17. LilacViolin

    Relationship in turmoil

    Update: Got lots of reassurance from both Rose and Orchid. I should feel so awesome that they're together for the weekend. My behavior wasn't so hot this week. I freaked out a few times, asking for reassurance, repeating myself. I'm not worried that Rose will want to have a monogamous...
  18. LilacViolin

    Should I let them fluid-bond?

    There are some amazingly smart people on here. I agree on both counts. Also, not taking sides here at all, but just curious - what about pregnancy?
  19. LilacViolin

    a moment of extreme jealousy

    Faye, I understand how you feel completely. Rose is going to visit Orchid this weekend and I have gone through the whole gammate of thoughts about being "boring." Rose has been amazing in all of it. He is with you. He cares for you. He might end up caring for her too, but love is...
  20. LilacViolin

    Email pal

    I have an email penpal that I have been writing with for a few months now. I really enjoy that type of conversation. It was awkward at first but it seems to work for us. We both have similar interests - are both poly, have kids, enjoy kink, music, spirituality, etc. Anyhow, I was wondering...