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    Hey Sweetie - haven't been on here in a long time. How are things going? -D

    Hey Sweetie - haven't been on here in a long time. How are things going? -D
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    Hi from Michigan

    update It's still a bumpy and eye opening ride for me. We fluctuate between being on top of the world to I can't live this way anymore, and we swing on a dime. Both of us feel things are very tenuous - we aren't used to that. The main issue is that I need a ton of reassurance, but I don't know...
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    Sexless Marriage- Told him I was stepping out for sex

    I was using abuse in the same context I quoted it - and my point was not to argue abuse, but to suggest that vastly different standards were being applied to behavior. I thought my point was pretty clear that SweetSensations shouldn't feel abusive to her husband - my apologies if that didn't...
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    Sexless Marriage- Told him I was stepping out for sex

    At what point does your husband's behavior become abusive to you...? I think a lot of people would consider that it crossed that line a long time ago, though it doesn't sound like you feel that way. That's fine, but it seems so unbalanced - I think you need to either be as hard on him as you...
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    Framing Intimacy

    Wow - her TED talk on vulnerability really hit me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o Thanks for sharing
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    Framing Intimacy

    I'm on the other end of the spectrum. Most of the time it isn't sexual at all. Often I see a hardship, (perceived) weakness or pain in someone - and it makes me feel drawn to them - I want to comfort them, let them know they aren't alone. It often resonates as love for me, but not attraction or...
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    Framing Intimacy

    Just looked on amazon, and it sounds right up my alley. Thanks for the suggestion!
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    Hi from Michigan

    That quite frankly wasn't how it felt. I read in a different thread where the partner said something like - 'I love you, I want to be with you, but if I have to choose between you and freedom I will choose freedom'. M said last night that's how she felt too. It's shocking how much she would...
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    Hi from Michigan

    That makes sense - but I think you are in a different spot than many of us. For several of us, there is a struggle to transition from mono to poly. It is that transition period where one partner feels a change is necessary and it can be traumatic to both. I would still be stuck if I thought my...
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    Framing Intimacy

    This is a great thread, and I want to participate but I don't have as much time as I'd like. But this (below) is very accurate for me. I think vulnerability is perhaps the most important piece to me. It's hard for me to imagine feeling intimacy without that. Maybe it would be insightful to...
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    Word Association Game!

    hunger
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    Hi from Michigan

    Thanks for the thoughtful post, nycindie - very well said. I'm just getting to the point where this is exciting, and it is, well, exciting! I do want to discuss your point about being complete - because this is something I've thought a lot about - and it's something I imagine a lot of people...
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    Hi from Michigan

    I had a breakthrough last night and I want to share it with my new community. It's a little hard to explain, and I feel a little uncomfortable writing it - but I want to share the good with the bad. It feels a bit like boasting, but feeling good about myself is critical and has been difficult on...
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    Hi from Michigan

    Drat, there are so many rules to polyamory! Thanks, that made me laugh :)
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    Hi from Michigan

    Thanks Fish, Yeah, I'm nervous. It'll be weird to sleep alone and know that she is with someone else. But we've had a really nice week and I don't want to let the time apart screw up our time together. breathe. Keep busy. Give the kids hugs, but not so much that they think I'm crazy. :-/
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    Hi from Michigan

    It's complicated, but it became clear she needed something outside of our marriage about 6 months ago. For a long time I thought (hoped) it was something she could 'get out of her system' with a tryst. I think the hardest thing for me has been to get to what is real instead of looking at what I...
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    Hi from Michigan

    Thanks Aquarius, I wish we could grab a drink as well - that would be nice. I'd love to visit Australia! I'm realizing that M and I still have a very special relationship - and I feel special and proud that I'm open to this. But it's delicate and I spiral down at times, though less each day...
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    Hi from Michigan

    I actually did ask someone out last week, and that felt good - though she wasn't interested in a married man. It was good for me to DO something instead of just worrying about what M does. It's not hard for me to envision a long term relation with someone new. I care very deeply for people, but...
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    Word Association Game!

    tune
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    Wife wants Open Marriage

    I don't know if this will help, but I've been going through this myself - and there was a turning point for me that doesn't seem to have happened with you. Right now, it sounds like your wife will not be happy in a monogamous relationship. Period. The hard realization I had was that there...
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