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    Sex and Childhood Trauma

    Hi, trauma survivor here. One thing I would probably add is to always ask for her consent, never assume. When you're getting intimate, or even touching her, it's good practice to ask, "May I touch you on your skin here?" and mimic the area on your own body. Better yet, ask, "Would you feel...
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    Why and how did you get into poly?

    When I was in the 3rd grade I had a crush on two boys: T and J. I liked them both equally. When I was in the 5th grade I had a crush on N first, then C, and C lasted a little longer than N because he was very nice to me, but I couldn't shake the fact that I was a 5th grader and he was a 4th...
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    Lovesick and Trying Not to Worry

    Thank you so much for the thoughtful advice, and I'm definitely on board with the "going to Paris" analogy. I've been working through these thoughts for the past two weeks and I think I'm a good spot now. The good news is that D has set up another date during the week. We'll be hiking around...
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    Lovesick and Trying Not to Worry

    I appreciate the questions! It helps me dissect and work through the emotions without being shamed for them here..! My nesting partner is sort of a primary. We have a child and home together, and I do hope to become his wife someday. It doesn’t mean neither of us are opposed to other loves...
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    So Happy to Live My Truth

    Thank you all for the kind and warm replies. My nesting partner and I have just begun opening up our relationship, and we’ve both gone on a few dates. I’ve had more success finding people in OKC and I’m pretty set on trying to develop two right now with two other polys. Excited to see where...
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    Lovesick and Trying Not to Worry

    I’ve been on several dates with several different people since opening up this year. It hasn’t been long. But it’s been the first time I felt instant chemistry and I think I scared him off a little. *sigh* I have another potential, A, that I’m getting along with beautifully and we are very...
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    Is This Jealousy, Or Something Else?

    This would bother me too. He seems to have no regards to your feelings, putting it even below the feelings of someone that isn't part of your circle of relationships. No one owns each other but it feels like he was inconsiderate in the least? I mean kudos to him for rejecting her advances...I...
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    Is This Jealousy, Or Something Else?

    ...his decision not to have sex with her in the bathroom in that moment was about not wanting to be a part of her cheating on her fiancé, not about the fact that I was sitting at the bar. And that hurts a lot more than I expected. This would bother me too. He seems to have no regards to your...
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    Lovesick and Trying Not to Worry

    My nesting partner and I have opened our relationship to poly, hoping to create Vs or Ws, and maybe a quad if things work out for the best. I went on a first date with a lad, D, and felt instant chemistry. I felt so lovesick afterwards. I knew that he had a primary in the military that would...
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    So Happy to Live My Truth

    I'm a 30-something year old finally living free and happy. Relationships were difficult for me from the start. I'm a CSA and have had years of trauma compounded onto each other, so my initial approach to sexuality was very cold and distant in a feeble attempt to protect myself. My first...
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