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    I don't think I can change or should?

    They're afraid of something. Or a number of things. Potentially "others being in the way". Or otherwise "neglect concerns". Being mono won't make those concerns "go away". Before ANYTHING ELSE address the concerns. Otherwise you're in an "unaware relationship". The most dangerous one...
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    looking for feedback on strategies for managing jealousy as a mono person

    I can only speak as someone that's had to deal with jealousy in others. For my part the reasons for not "being restricted" with anyone are quite simple. I have a past of being made to choose, which resulted in choosing others and it all resulted in the people I care about self harming and one...
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    What is cheating in an open relationship

    There is law, yes, but that's another matter. The ultimate question I present to you is this. "Who decides?" In the end we only decide for ourselves. And even then there's still reasons and ultimately it might not even be a decision at all despite best efforts to change a situation. There's...
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    Shifting dynamics and metamor issues

    Hmm... I'll simply say this based on glancing some of the posts. It can be easy to see the worst of yourself when someone talks to others about you. I DO say some bad things, sure. But it's not in the intent to "point and laugh". We ALL have bad things about us and it's foolish and naive to...
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    What is cheating in an open relationship

    Being blunt. Not your call to make. People attack each other in other relationships and yet can still end up making things work out. I also don't view anyone in the "right" or "wrong" because everyone has their reasons. There's a lot of other factors at play beyond what's on the surface. That...
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    poly: what & how many

    It's still a "mono" relationship in some ways because it's "half mono". It's also half poly in this case. I'm not even sure if this is called anything. Moly? Pono? Anyway, there's still mono in that relationship. Going along the same line there's actually a lot of mono in poly. Just not in the...
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    How often do you talk to your partner about insecurity?

    Again, if someone even close to you chose to divulge whatever the hell they wish that is THEIR right to do so. I never said "this can't harm someone". I never said "It might be unwise to do". I'm simply stating that you do NOT control ANYONE regardless of what you might think. And I'm simply...
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    poly: what & how many

    Take the first half of what you said and make it the reply to the second half of what you said. We can TRY to control the situations we put ourselves in but even that isn't so simple. Sometimes the situation gets placed on you. In a none forced manner too. With it sucking for everyone involved...
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    Does being under-privileged make it harder to come out?

    You're the one that brought me up and put me in a spotlight speaking to me in that tone. Quoting practically everything I had said. Again, of course I'm going to be defensive when that happens and someone talks to me like they're so much better then I am. Or at least that is the impression I got...
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    How often do you talk to your partner about insecurity?

    I misunderstood the age thing then. My mistake. If I want to talk about private things about you or even people close to me then that is MY right to do so. My place because I make it MY place. You do NOT get to decide what your wife can do or not. Only SHE decides that and even that can change...
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    Relationship Vulnerabilities Quiz

    It can. And for one simple reason. Other people are not the current partner. If your partner has trust issues and you do not then the transition can even be smoother. For you at least. If you have trust issues however then naturally it will be more difficult to pursue another relationship...
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    poly: what & how many

    And this is how people often get hurt when it comes to "Not yet aware poly partners" I think. Also mono is "Happy with one", not "I control who you see". A relationship can still be mono as well as poly for this reason. Someone could always show up later to change things, regardless of what you...
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    Does being under-privileged make it harder to come out?

    I never said it did. At what point did I state otherwise? I also have only my own experience to draw upon and specifically said I won't stand for others being given a hard time. No matter what it's about. That's not "generalising". that's sticking up for difference itself. Different things, yes...
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    poly: what & how many

    It's not that people might try to use information is negative ways. It's that people can think "They know better" for others. or otherwise see what they want to see.
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    Relationship Vulnerabilities Quiz

    1. We had problems trusting each other early in our relationship. 0 (Got to being cosy on day 1 actually.) 2. Our relationship revolves around our children (or for childless couples, we disagree on whether or not to have children). 0 3. My partner spends too much time away from home. 0 (To be...
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    Thoughts on Marriage and Polyamory

    I'm pointing this out for a reason. You're basically going "I believe you should go about it this way." Or otherwise assuming how others go about it instead of checking in first. Both can be dangerous. I'm sure you never intended to speak about how others go about it though. But I do strongly...
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    poly: what & how many

    "What" can get varied. I'm a masochist. I don't enjoy physical pain. Why? Because I'm a MENTAL masochist. Also not sexual only, which can be a part of it but never the only thing about it (I get miffed when I see people saying it's mainly about sex as if it's a fact for all). I'm poly. But I...
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    Does being under-privileged make it harder to come out?

    More like spoken as someone that no longer has the patience for people that make too many assumptions and fear the worst of things at the first opportunity. I have the feeling you're making some about me too. Did it occur to you I might be "anti normal" (I use that term loosely) because it's...
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    Thoughts on Marriage and Polyamory

    I'm a sub. I don't believe in getting married for the simple reason of having to "prove" myself. I do that in other ways. Being there. Being supportive. Etc. Collar is practically a wedding ring in some ways. In this case might be literal. I also believe anyone should be able to get married if...
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    How often do you talk to your partner about insecurity?

    Sigh... So many places. Where to begin? Let's start with "Not her place". Can you understand why I might take issue with this? Who decides what YOUR place is? even a loved one doesn't decide such things. Not beyond dom/sub related things but even then it's not as simple as "Oh, this is my...
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