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  1. yoxi

    Meditation

    I've discovered a way to be able to sit for longer (without triggering my PTSD panic button) - it turns out to be music. I put on Steve Reich's Music For 18 Musicians quietly in the background, which has been a friend since the 70's, and the familiarity of it (coupled with its beautiful constant...
  2. yoxi

    what? no uk peeps

    Hi fella, I'll be moving to Devon soon (and visit Brum semi-often to see friends), so maybe we can meet up sometime and trade stories? :)
  3. yoxi

    New polyfidelitous, any advice??

    No, just observant :) - this communication stuff seems to work whatever kind of relationship anyone's in, whether romantic or not, poly or not. [...and of course, I should follow my own advice more...:(]
  4. yoxi

    Meditation

    I haven't tried anything specifically like that, no. But then my feelings rarely feel really overwhelming, and are (at the moment) mostly kicked off by the difficult and scary co-lodger in my current house. Since I'm about to move across country and get to live on my own again, it's manageable...
  5. yoxi

    Yet another modest proposal

    Easy-to-understand teeshirt slogans are just soooo mainstream... :)
  6. yoxi

    Tyler Durden, Polyamory, and Chinese Underground Gangs

    I know what you mean about the word "triad" - I prefer Samuel R Delany's coinage: "a triple". Like a couple, but triplier :).
  7. yoxi

    Yet another modest proposal

    Another teeshirt slogan I just came up with during a conversation with someone about quad poly relationships - (ahem): Fawesome!!
  8. yoxi

    What did you do today that made you smile?

    Complimented someone on their collarbones :).
  9. yoxi

    New polyfidelitous, any advice??

    That's the kind of question that will never answer itself in the abstract - what people think they'll feel in a particular situation and what they actually do feel when it comes to it are different things. I would say, don't worry*, but keep talking about it, and especially once/if you two do...
  10. yoxi

    Random Spiritual Chit-chat, etc.

    I thought this belonged with your last post :) : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1fiubmOqH4
  11. yoxi

    Meditation

    Yes, it's like it was rumbling along at an almost unconscious level for decades, informing how I reacted in certain situations (like sharing rooms/space, and sex, and, well, any situation where I didn't have 'control over my environment'), but last summer it jumped several levels, in terms of...
  12. yoxi

    Meditation

    Actually, this doesn't really help (though I appreciate the spirit in which you've offered it) - and the reason why is that body and mind are not separate, but mutually causal. One of the things that goes on with PTSD is that the part of the brain that is active when cultivating mindfulness is...
  13. yoxi

    Meditation

    Thanks, Charlie (me and River have smoothed over my cracking-up off grid :)) The PTSD symptoms I'm dealing with are: hypervigilance, insomnia, inability to concentrate, skin and digestion trouble, mild occasional paranoia (see above, sigh...) and are in a sense very welcome, because they...
  14. yoxi

    What you listening to Now :

    Difficult Housemate Leaving for the Day - by Reality :(
  15. yoxi

    Meditation

    River, whether I agree with what you wrote or not, I'm very confident of your positive motive for writing it :). Charlie, part of what caused this reaction in me is that because of PTSD symptoms I've been working with since last summer, I've lost the ability to meditate for more than a minute...
  16. yoxi

    Meditation

    It caught me by surprise to have an old, old button pushed by what you wrote - the "whatever you say, it's not good enough!" button, and nothing to do with what you actually said - well, almost nothing! Since I haven't yet successfully unpushed this button again, I can't converse sensibly about...
  17. yoxi

    Meditation

    Word Wars IV: A New Hope... "An image arises of a wall, a fence, a door, ... a border crossing, with the line being sharp and distinct." Well, I only have myself to blame, since I started this by saying "no, it's more like *this* from where I'm sitting..." (though I tried to include irony in...
  18. yoxi

    Meditation

    Who said the journey to enlightenment was peaceful? ;) (a white-water canoe extravaganza from where I'm sitting... lovely scenery, though!)
  19. yoxi

    PTSD and non-monogamy

    That'd be me, then :). I've been dealing with mild-to-middling PTSD symptoms since last summer, which hit me quite unexpectedly, and are partly connected with dealing with childhood abuse. It's all become more manageable since September, when it was like I spent a month on speed - and I'm...
  20. yoxi

    Honest self-questioning

    Something new has come out of my reflecting. Please note: this is only about my experience, not anyone else's! I had a flash of 'insight' on the bus yesterday (public transport is great for that...) - I was sitting on the top deck of the bus, pondering polyamory (as one does), when it suddenly...
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