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  1. Inaniel

    Is she really Polyamorous?

    I think asking yourself (and the world) questions like this is a waste of time. You will never have the answers you seek. People treat one another badly sometimes. It likely comes down to lack of respect, personal traumas, and maturity. The problem with people is we are so immersed in denial...
  2. Inaniel

    Notes to Self

    If this is an interpretation it feels to me like a coping strategy rooted in condescension. If this statement is fact it sounds like It could be the making of an unhealthy dynamic.
  3. Inaniel

    Why is this so hard

    I’d like to make it clear that I do not endorse this… ☺️
  4. Inaniel

    Why is this so hard

    It hasn’t… Evie literally keeps her location set to ANTARCTICA… Imagine that… OP lives in Indianapolis, USA. And only agreed to poly in order to “save the marriage” (per his post in another thread). Evie’s referenced partner (from the kink site) lives half a world away…. I’m not saying there...
  5. Inaniel

    When do consent violations go too far in Consensual Non-Monogamy

    I don’t know if your being controlling. I don’t like the phrasing of those sorts of questions because everyone will have a different threshold for something like that. Your partner is violating agreements. You want to pump the breaks on the whole thing, and for what purpose? Until you...
  6. Inaniel

    How does polyamory give what you need?

    I agree with the sentiment that polyamory is not a "need". When I think about defining "need" I go into a spiral of thought so defining it in terms of "wants" makes a lot more sense to me. Polyamory is basically the result of my love for sexual variety... When I was young I resented the...
  7. Inaniel

    Why is this so hard

    You are not expecting too much from polyamory. The whole point is to receive affection from multiple partners… I think to understand the dating world you have to generalize a bit, because modern dating is a numbers game. Generally speaking hetero women have the benefit of dipping into the...
  8. Inaniel

    In dire need of advice.

    These are difficult questions that I think can only be answered by your partner. We all have our own tolerance for privacy. In my relationships, if I were expected to share every time I flirted with someone on Tinder I would find that overbearing… Dating can be stressful, and providing a daily...
  9. Inaniel

    In dire need of advice.

    So he is already being secretive again, and you have already caught him lying again. Yet you are not keeping the promise you made to him and yourself to end it. Why? Do you not value your own words?
  10. Inaniel

    I started seeing my partner after he separated from his wife. Now they’re trying to date again. Neither have ever been non-monogamous

    I am not a fan of parallel poly. I was in a parallel situation once and it felt like living a double life, I found the requirement for segregation inconvenient (to put it as politely as possible). Having a partner who is so on-edge they cant bear the sight of, or exchange pleasantries with a...
  11. Inaniel

    HELP!!!

    That’s my take away from this as well…. Hopefully the side piece gets the support her and the child need and deserve.
  12. Inaniel

    Partner and I are at a critical point, please help

    Get out of her way or walk away.
  13. Inaniel

    Instigating and myths

    I too made many mistakes. I think my strength through the process was honesty, even if I didn’t know why I felt the way I did, I was honest about the way I felt and what I wanted in the moment. I think the probability of two people falling in love with each other and avoiding any mistakes along...
  14. Inaniel

    HELP!!!

    This situation sucks a bit, I can imagine this is a bit stressful for you. Do you love your pregnant partner? Given that none of us are provided a crystal ball that will tell us about our future regrets before they happen, I try to approach decision making as stacking decisions with the...
  15. Inaniel

    Patterns or coincidence?

    The demographics here might have more to do with this website's format and vibe.. You might not come to the same conclusion browsing the r/Polyamory reddit, but who knows... I began doing drugs at a young age however I am mostly free of them now... I think drug use was the first thing that...
  16. Inaniel

    Looking for advice

    By practicing hierarchy you already are…
  17. Inaniel

    Changing relationship dynamic?

    There are many layers to these types issues and the problem can be exacerbated by poly. How is someone who you already have dwindling desire for going to compete with the NRE fueled desire for a new partner? Fantastic sex with a new partner can have an overshadowing effect…. Consider the effect...
  18. Inaniel

    Effective communication

    You sound extremely anxious. I understand that you have a lot of emotions about this. You are justified in being concerned about your own health and wellbeing. The types of experiences your partner is interested in pursuing are not without risk. I know everyone is "getting tested" prior to...
  19. Inaniel

    I’ve returned and I have a question

    Dating can be such an emotional roller coaster. The individual you have described sounds like they have a lot going on. Maybe he got busy and needs some more time to respond?
  20. Inaniel

    V hinge feeling Guilty

    I am a hinge as well. Over the years I have felt guilt over a lot of different little things, including sex and finances. I do not have a balanced sex life with both of my partners, meaning I have sex with one partner more often than the other. I think everyone felt a tad guilty about it...
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