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    Hoping for some advice, is my situation as complicated as I am making it out to be in my head?

    He‘s got Demotion and displacement which counts as intrusion into his life before the door is officially open …potential for resentment ??? Sounds like he’s leaning that way to save a 20 yr marriage. Sunk cost. Why check in often ?? Really shouldn’t it be the other way around. She...
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    Hoping for some advice, is my situation as complicated as I am making it out to be in my head?

    its Good that you can embrace this as a gift👍 good for you the way this reads it sort of suggests the childhood trauma and your martial sex life are somewhat linked is that the case or rather is that her perception? So her choosing to NOT want to be sexually intimate with you is based on a...
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    Happily married man who is woefully confused.

    it’s hard to predict but actually romantic love and intimacy / sharing your heart might be more terrifying than sharing your body or physical stuff you could do.
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    Happily married man who is woefully confused.

    Hi and welcome to the forum. Very wise decision on becoming better informed / educated on not only poly theory but the day to day mechanics and practicalities of the new dynamic. My suggestion is read old thread and old blogs …new threads and new blogs to get an idea of what you really want...
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    What polyamory skills are great relationship skills in general?

    trust gut For those who have been poly bombed it’s either hard to trust their gut because radical shake up with in the relationship or because they just didn’t have major life changes where they needed to. compartmentalization: a valued skill that helps keep everything in its own lane...
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    First Post and My Story

    This sounds either like a flat out lie or some sort of clever spin and some grand plan of manipulation. Most people are more offended or hurt by being played or manipulated in some incremental …put the frog in room temp water and dial it up. Could that wory? maybe. But what if it breaks...
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    Would really like some advice

    temporarily. But you should really face the fact that line won’t hold. yes very. unfortunately what’s worse is the expectation that it will hold indefinitely small steps I’d leave that door open too. And if and when you do decide to jump in the pool that’s when the hypocrisy card on...
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    Changing relationship dynamic?

    Did this loss of attraction or some sexual disconnect help drive you to finding your poly identity. “Terribly uncomfortable situation “ seems polite and understating it. You've discussed this issue many time over in a direct and blunt manner so he’s crystal clear that your sexual desires...
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    Effective communication

    Bukkake parties are an identifiable form of kink…..as a opposed to gangbangs and creampies being what ??? AND because international bukkake organisers might have scrupulous standards across the globe that doesn’t mean 2 chicks wanting dicks in every orifice / hand are going to have that same...
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    Needing support

    You‘re going to always be the judge of what’s fair or what fits with the context and the situation on the ground it’s us piecing together what we read along with the numerous people that have presented similar accounts. And from the quick scan of this thread I thought your anxiety was...
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    Needing support

    she says if the situation were reversed she would fell nothing but happiness. I think she either completely drunk on NRE or completely naive / optimistic in that prediction. Those are word supporting a sales pitch not based on past experience as a guide. In many many cases we‘ve seen...
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    Condoms and such

    however when people use the argument my body my choice and this relationship over here is separate and different from ours. That being said it eaves the door completely open to Base jumping or shooting heroin and the right to share such information. I don’t think loss of your partner is the...
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    Condoms and such

    Yes I agree and the reactions in this case either lack empathy or they‘re just polar opposite in terms of an end game. I think that’s why he wanted them to do both. To try to get that number in a decimal. 99.87843 ( made that up by the way ) exactly. I guess my question would be is...
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    Condoms and such

    I’d actually say a little alarming for someone trying to navigate a transition. I guess your requests and agreements someday soon could be looked upon as controlling. SO …IF going in you heard my body my choice would that have been a nonstarter ? AND …IF your wife were to contract an std...
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    The Jealosy Diary

    I remember not too long ago you having a thread in the relationship section about preparing for your spouse having sex with a meta I thought of posting this on there but remembered it was closed. I wonder if you caught this thread https://polyamory.com/threads/condoms-and-such.154261/. And...
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    Condoms and such

    Campers 1 through 3 and now with the 4th ALL COME UNDER THE umbrella of discussions and agreements made In the opening up process. clearly this was a topic and a concern because he specifically asked they use condoms. THEY Specifically DISLIKE the condom request but agree. AN...
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    Condoms and such

    Correction he needs to divorce her like yesterday.
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    Condoms and such

    What seems to be getting lost in this discussion of autonomy over ones body vs over reach by a spouse is tha fact they are NOT some battle tested poly pros with considerable mileage under their belts just caught up in a new challenge. BUT RATHER just recently decided to open after much...
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    Condoms and such

    Shykitten is your husband and likewise BF aware of this forum and or this thread ? ALSO do you currently have children and were they the product of you and your husband. And how have you been open / dating / having sex with other people ?
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    Condoms and such

    thank you ….that makes more sense…at least coming from you 😆
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