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  1. BrokenArrow

    Mono Couple becomes Poly Couple

    So things have been pretty good. Spitfire and I are doing well. Went through a bit of a rough patch while she mourned her breakup with Picard. That was annoying but I did my best to be supportive and give her the time and space she asked for. Finally started to get along with the guy and then...
  2. BrokenArrow

    Mono Couple becomes Poly Couple

    Started talking to Picard today. My therapist convinced me I was just being a stubborn asshole so I reached out. The word reached feels yucky in my mouth. That can't be the right word. Reached. Blegh! So I've been having a nice conversation with him and I already feel much better about things...
  3. BrokenArrow

    Mono Couple becomes Poly Couple

    I've spent the last 12 years afraid of the day someone found out I was bi. I'm done.
  4. BrokenArrow

    Mono Couple becomes Poly Couple

    So I've been working with a new therapist. This one seems to be a little better than the last. Pretty frequent back and forth. It's nice. Been trying to make friends on OK Cupid. Somehow I've managed to match with a bunch of guys. I lose a lot of them when I tell them I'm not really looking for...
  5. BrokenArrow

    Mono Couple becomes Poly Couple

    I keep telling myself it's going to get easier but the right now part of it sucks. We do a good pause and shower and toothbrushing rule in between partners. It does help. But yeesh! Got some good advice today. It was recommended to me that while Spitfire's gone I try and focus my thoughts on...
  6. BrokenArrow

    Mono Couple becomes Poly Couple

    So I spent the night at Jason's house on Friday! We went out roller skating and snuggled and watched a movie. We discovered why mixed packs of condoms are a terrible idea! Always double check that your condom is not "fire and ice" before anal because that mother fucker was terrible!!!!! We had a...
  7. BrokenArrow

    Mono Couple becomes Poly Couple

    Actually, thanks. It is nice to hear that it gets better. Spitfire and I often joke that we're doing this in hard mode for now. Our youngest is 4 and the oldest is 10. I keep waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel but... toddlers are monsters. I love her but she is the living embodiment...
  8. BrokenArrow

    Mono Couple becomes Poly Couple

    So it looks like Spitfire and I will be ending couples therapy. The therapist says that we are a really good and strong couple and there's not much that she can do for us, but we both should get individual therapy. I'm already a bit ahead of the game there but I'm slightly disillusioned with my...
  9. BrokenArrow

    The Jealosy Diary

    Maybe you're a little wiser than me, but don't make decisions or agreement while your stunned like I did. Explain to your partner that you need time to think things over and wait till your head clears and you've had time to process. I built up a lot of resentment towards Spitfire for things I've...
  10. BrokenArrow

    The Jealosy Diary

    Thank you for this post! Don't know how I didn't see this thread earlier. I read your first entry and realized that's a lot of what I'm feeling now, and I related more and more with each post. There's some obvious differences, of course. Honestly, I had to skip ahead to see if things got better...
  11. BrokenArrow

    Mono Couple becomes Poly Couple

    Spent 5 hours last night typing up all my venomous feelings but ultimately chickened out on sending it. Real unhappy shit. The one-sided history of Broken Arrow and Spitfire. Spitfire and I have started couples therapy. She's pretty happy with where our relationship is at but I'm spending a lot...
  12. BrokenArrow

    confused

    Sketchy people seem like fun, until that sketchiness catches up to you. If you're going to put yourself out there, try nice people and please wear protection. Or make sure they do. Not really picking up on your gender from the post but female condoms seem like a whole fucking production so...
  13. BrokenArrow

    Social Anxiety and Polyamory

    That sucks, dude. At least you're working towards dealing with it! OKC is rough on the insecurities. I have social anxiety but it's not super terrible. I fall apart in crowds but as long as I've got room to breathe and don't have the kids with me I can keep my shit together fairly well. It's...
  14. BrokenArrow

    confused

    ...on the flip side, you may regret what you've never known. Bit of a gamble. Maybe he'll come around to your way of thinking. Drop so sound arguments for your position. Have a deep pros and cons talk. Get to the root of his feelings and why he has them. Couldn't hurt.
  15. BrokenArrow

    confused

    Sometimes you just can't have it both ways. If it's what you really want to do, break up with him and do it. If he's more important, respect his feelings. Maybe do some research. Either way, going out and slutting it up is fun but risky. Spent most of my late teens and early twenties racking up...
  16. BrokenArrow

    Mono Couple becomes Poly Couple

    In about a year and a half. I'm trying to get placed in the same state. We like the schools here and we don't want to leave our partners. The downside is I'll be going back to sea. Gone for months at a time. I need to find a way to deal with the jealousy before that happens.
  17. BrokenArrow

    Mono Couple becomes Poly Couple

    I would agree that it is 100% terrible right now. I'm miserable and I don't know how to get over it. Jason is going to come over this weekend since Spitfire and Kirk are going camping. That should help. He really makes me feel good about myself. He's the nicest and sweetest man I've ever been...
  18. BrokenArrow

    Mono Couple becomes Poly Couple

    Holy shit, you two! Simmer down. I do appreciate both of your inputs and maybe I'm misinterpreting some playful banter but it seems like you're going at each other a little hard. Look. Magdlyn: The housing market out here is a nightmare. Also I move every three years or so for work so just...
  19. BrokenArrow

    mono/poly relationship

    I don't know about your husband, but for me the hardest part was feeling like I've been replaced and don't matter anymore. Watching some other guy laugh and giggle and have inside jokes with her like we used to. Watching this after all the work we've put into our relationship but having our...
  20. BrokenArrow

    Mono Couple becomes Poly Couple

    I've been having a hard time with things this week. I feel very lonely. Spitfire's here but I feel so disconnected from her. Talking about how I feel only seems to spark an argument. She says the COVID stress and isolation are getting to me and she's probably right. All the stress only compounds...
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