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  1. redsirenn

    ...and we're on our way.

    Hi everyone. I just wanted to post that I had a great night with J last night. Kept within my boundaries, and am having fun exploring what could be the beginning of a real poly relationship. I NEVER would have thought this sort of thing would have happened to me, or that I would even consider...
  2. redsirenn

    Seeking empathy with new partners.

    This is a side thread based on a quite by Mono in another thread. I reworded it some simply for clarity's sake. Potential reasons listed why mono-identifying people find another. Caveat - I know there are others, but for the sake of this thread and my question, this is all she wrote. What...
  3. redsirenn

    Lots of new brain farts.

    Hello from the Caribbean! I am having a hard time right now while I am away from home. I figured I'd write it out and possibly get some feedback. One of the things I love about taking a break from my usual routine, is the opportunity to think about things on my own, without interference from...
  4. redsirenn

    I have a crush

    I haven't been on here in a while - had not yet talked to Ouroboros about it, and didn't want him reading this forum before I had time to figure out what I was going to do. Well - he brought up some stuff last night, and it came out. Going to get coffee or a brew later with J. This territory...
  5. redsirenn

    Searching or Happenstance?

    Hey again - I have another wormy thought that I have been trying to work through and can't seem to come to a conclusion about. I find myself truly weirded out by the thought of me or O actively "looking for someone" outside of the relationship. I am comfortable with being open to "whatever...
  6. redsirenn

    Babies

    Had a short discussion last night where O said to me that if I were to get pregnant he doesn't know if he would stick around. I am shocked. I have had 2 abortions in my life already, and I am now very careful about birthcontrol. I truly believe in a woman's right to choose, and my choice is to...
  7. redsirenn

    Abuse

    I read something in an article lately that was shocking to me. Judith Lipton (author of the myth of monogamy) apparently stated that most people she interviewed who approach non-monogamy in their partnerships were once victims of abuse. This caught my eye. I was a victim of abuse, mentally...
  8. redsirenn

    Letting go

    Hi everyone. I have a general question - something that is running through my head. Ouroboros is planning a get away this coming week, and he is "allowed" for lack of a better word, to make out with girls. I have gotten to the point where I am a little nervous, but really not jealous or...
  9. redsirenn

    Too close to workplace?

    Hey everyone, I have a question that I am unsure about how to address myself. a little background first: I am currently a phd student in a relationship with someone who is not in my career field. One of my concerns with us dating other people is drama that might ensue as a result of this...
  10. redsirenn

    Letting go

    Having a hard time.... Realizing that although the jealousy management articles and exercises are great, the best thing is to remember to seek peace in the world, and to do my best to be happy when others are happy. I want more than anything to be able to let go and not be trapped in a box...
  11. redsirenn

    poly for the relationship

    Ok - another question: ( I am having lots of these right now) Ouroboros and I are having a FABULOUS time. This has been one of the best relationships of my life so far. I have my fears, etc. but here is something rattling around in my brain... I am not even sure if this is true for me, but...
  12. redsirenn

    maintaining self-identity

    Hey all! Ouroboros and I had a discussion last night about beginning the discussions regarding opening our relationship. I was scared, but knew it was coming. I can read his body language and knew he needed to talk about something. So - A couple of things came from that for me, that i didn't...
  13. redsirenn

    Poly-friendly songs & books

    Torn Between Two Lovers -Artist: Mary MacGregor -peak Billboard position # 1 in 1976-77 -Words and Music by Peter Yarrow (of Peter, Paul , and Mary) and Phil Jarrel There are times when a woman has to say what's on her mind Even though she knows how much it's gonna hurt Before I say another...
  14. redsirenn

    Broken agreement

    Ouroboros broke an agreement. He kissed the other woman... HE told me that he was not going to pursue anything with anyone. This happened when they went camping last time she visited. I had decided to trust him. It took him 2 and a half weeks to tell me even though there has been ample...
  15. redsirenn

    Myers Briggs and polyamory.

    Do you think people that practice polyamorous lifestyles successfully (i.e. within the "definition" of the full-consent, etc. and to the benefit of the relationship as a whole) Have common personality traits? Do you think some personality traits can handle this type of relationship better than...
  16. redsirenn

    not feeling so good...

    I met Ouroboro's other interest this weekend. I spent friday night over there and all day sunday with them on the river. She is still in town until tuesday evening. I realized I don't really have a problem with jealousy, which is great. However, I still feel incredibly uncomfortable. I thought...
  17. redsirenn

    What is love?

    Ok. I have just admitted to myself that I am not being productive today. Got to pack for a trip and so I am dawdling (since I hate packing). Anyhow, I have a question that I think about frequently: How would you describe romantic love? How is it different than deep friendship, if at all?
  18. redsirenn

    Music!

    There must be some musicians on this site? Or even some great talk of music and some analysis of music in cultures, trends in society, or even what rocks our socks off?? Personally I identify as a solid all time lover of rock and roll. I am not that old, but Pink Floyd is a classic band that...
  19. redsirenn

    Polyamory, commitment, and emotional investment

    I have done a lot of reading on this topic, and finally took a break recently to mull some ideas over in my head. One thing that I wonder is the topic of polyamory and commitment. I know this is something that has been discussed ad infinitum on many websites and blogs, but the part of it that...
  20. redsirenn

    when things go awry

    Well, I talked with *him* about strengthening our relationship and then opening it up to other people and well, it did not fly. I have developed feelings for him, and him not for me. I don’t think he is really polyamorous, actually. I think he just wants multiple people to have sex with. This is...
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