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  1. BelleRose

    The other kind of jealousy…

    I'm not sure that the feeling you're describing is jealousy. I don't want to project too much, but I had a similar experience with my ex partner George and his partner Gina. Similar to what you described, I hadn't thought much about her and didn't feel a curiosity to meet her on my own, but...
  2. BelleRose

    Reciprocity and levels of involvement in relationships

    I can understand feeling pressured into reciprocating the level of involvement that he seems to want, especially since you take on the dominant role in scenes and may adopt a sort of caregiving mentality toward him to a degree. It makes sense that you would feel torn between reciprocating for...
  3. BelleRose

    Feeling Empty

    First, thanks to everyone who has been here for me. It's been a few weeks now and I definitely feel better about the fact that things ended, if still a bit annoyed by the way that things ended. I do apologize for going MIA for a moment. Besides the breakup, a LOT of other things happened three...
  4. BelleRose

    Feeling Empty

    George and I met for lunch today. He expressed feeling like his partner (me) doesn’t want to be with him, and that he doesn’t like that feeling. Following almost immediately by: so maybe we should break up. Once he said those words I sort of just gave up. The conversation we had two weeks ago...
  5. BelleRose

    Compassion, illness, intimacy, and how to avoid making one partner feel left out.

    I'm wondering why the option of everyone playing together is back on the table? On the one hand, I guess it's a good thing not to be completely closed off to any option. But you mentioned in the beginning of this post that the triad dynamic didn't really work in the past, and I remember you...
  6. BelleRose

    Feeling Empty

    Sigh. Two out of three ain't bad. George works at the bar as a bouncer on weekends. He's more of the stoic, stand-alone, "who the hell is that" kind of character. He's certainly charismatic when engaged, though he doesn't typically initiate things. At least not directly. Though to be fair, as...
  7. BelleRose

    Feeling Empty

    I agree. It isn't reasonable to change other people's behaviors to fit my expectations. I did tell George that I don't want to prescribe his behavior; that my goal isn't his compliance. I don't know that I expect mind reading. When we've hit road bumps in the past it hasn't seemed so dire...
  8. BelleRose

    Feeling Empty

    Part Three That is a very, very good point. Thank you. This is really my first time being in an established relationship while dating new people. I think it caused me to kind of cut slack in areas that I shouldn't. Luke and Jose may be emotionally unavailable because they're mono and I'm poly...
  9. BelleRose

    Feeling Empty

    Part Two Gala, another thing you mentioned, and Luna too, is the type of poly George is doing. That may be a compatibility thing as well? Yep, I think that's about the size of it, as they say. Lol. I've thought about the TV show. Let's pretend it was Glee (it wasn't lol) so this doesn't get...
  10. BelleRose

    Feeling Empty

    Part One I know exactly how you feel about this. I literally feel the same way. I don't handle being lonely very well, but don't feel lonely when I'm just alone on my own. I actually love being in my own company. I go out alone often. I take myself out on little dates (lol). I love planning...
  11. BelleRose

    Feeling Empty

    Thanks everyone for the responses and advice. Kevin, I agree that I'm reevaluating polyamory at the moment. I don't think I'm evaluating so much whether to be poly? Maybe? I feel like I am poly. Like it's just my orientation, and I don't think I'd manage in a closed, mono relationship. I don't...
  12. BelleRose

    Feeling Empty

    I've been feeling this way for a couple of weeks now, and then today I had a thought for the first time that made me sad. That my relationship with George isn't real, or not as real as it could be, or would be, if we weren't poly. It started with Luke. When we first met and started dating...
  13. BelleRose

    High bar for kink?

    I think that expressing concern is more than fair, and yes, I think it's fair to ask for an additional level of scrutiny in a kink related or D/s relationship. The assymetrical power dynamic makes it too easy for manipulation to occur without the person realizing (at least for a while)...
  14. BelleRose

    Jealousy Issues / Dating Monos

    I'll keep this brief. I'm noticing that I struggle a lot with jealousy and general insecurity with my relationships with mono people. I assume this is because, with poly people, I know that other partners won't necessarily replace me. But with mono people, because choosing is sort of built into...
  15. BelleRose

    Negligence or Boundary Pushing?

    I think this is all very fair. ::deep sigh:: I've always known - due to my delightful upbringing - that I struggle with people pleasing and setting/maintaining boundaries. That is what makes something like this so difficult for me. Even when I'm uncomfortable, even when I'm RIGHT to be, it's...
  16. BelleRose

    Negligence or Boundary Pushing?

    True. In hindsight that wasn’t fair to him, and he was very upset that I left without saying anything. He also asked me how I would have felt if he’d left like that without telling me. Of course, that made me wonder how he would have felt had I draped myself all over an acquaintance of his who...
  17. BelleRose

    Questioning a partner’s decision

    I see. If you think the "kink lab" situation is the case I don't see the harm in clarifying. Especially since you're open to continue being a teacher even if feelings of attraction aren't there. It would be a good thing for you both to agree on what kind of relationship is actually forming, I...
  18. BelleRose

    Polyamory and mental health

    I hear you. Oh, man, do I hear you. I'm bipolar. Misdiagnosed with depression at 22, diagnosed correctly (by myself, while manic) at 25, confirmed by multiple therapists since. This is what I've found personally: At first I was in the same camp as you, as in don't reveal on the first date...
  19. BelleRose

    I Need Advice and Help

    I'm sorry. I didn't realize how long this thread was and my original response is outdated. I'm so glad to hear that your week long conversation went well though. I'm glad that the two of you have come to a solution and set deadlines that allow you both to be comfortable going forward.
  20. BelleRose

    I Need Advice and Help

    It might just be me but it sounds like you are having poly guilt. That and some jumping to conclusions. 1 - Because you say your husband "gave in" to your new arrangement, that makes me think that you either think or know on some level that it isn't what he really wants. He did agree, so...
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