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  1. N

    Your most recent OKC messages. post em here!

    Yes, the brat-tamer aspect :) That is also something that could be fun and as said, has nothing to do with age. It's more about the mindset, like in all d/s-relationships.
  2. N

    Your most recent OKC messages. post em here!

    It depends and it has nothing to do with age in the end. Basically, it's about the other one being dominant and taking the role of the "old and wise" and the little is the one learning. I identify myself as a daddy-dom, as I really like the role of being looked upon to and the "old and wise...
  3. N

    Non-monogamy showed me what it really means to be with someone

    The comment section though... :mad:
  4. N

    What you listening to Now :

    In memory of Scott Weiland Stone Temple Pilots - Sour Girl Brings back so much memories from my teenage years, man I was big into grunge back then :)
  5. N

    What has being poly taught you?

    Something I wrote to a random OKC match: "Being poly has taught me that you really can love many people very much and you realize it at the first time of break-up. You nearly cry when you hear a cheesy pop-ballad suddenly from the radio and think about the love you lost when you look at the...
  6. N

    What you listening to Now :

    Nat King Cole - Smile Turning to classics this evening :)
  7. N

    Your most recent OKC messages. post em here!

    "Sorry, I didn't know you weren't single." And just what part of "Open relationship" did you not understand... :rolleyes:
  8. N

    Staying away the best decision?

    I can luckily be alone as much as I want :) Now that some time has passed, this is definitely for the better and I can move along. We have talked with the girl a couple of times and we can be buddies, just talk about things if we want to, but in the end, this really was a good decision. Maybe...
  9. N

    Staying away the best decision?

    I'm a terrible pretender :D But I mainly just try to put things away and try to act normal. It's actually easier when there are people around. When I am alone at work or wherever, then my concentration fails.
  10. N

    Staying away the best decision?

    Now it's been a week and I've discovered some things that are the absolute downsides to being a poly. I can't go all over and say that things are the way they went. Everything still needs to be discreet. I can't go to Facebook and tell things around and I can't be devastated with my friends...
  11. N

    Staying away the best decision?

    A sad update to all of this. Since summer, things started to heat up between me and the woman. The romantic feelings started to grow, leading to the point where we finally said that we love each other very much, so I started treating her like my girlfriend/metamour. The boyfriend had been...
  12. N

    The use of pornography(evil?)

    As long as it does not grow to be a problem, I really don't understand the demonizing of porn. There are a few good points though, about porn giving the wrong impression of sex and male/female body for the inexperienced and about it being addicting. And yes, it's mostly also boring :D Then...
  13. N

    Asexual Poly?

    This is exactly how I feel about this. It's not that I don't like sex, quite the opposite! But sex itself is not how I see polyamory. The intimacy is the keyword here - things can feel intimate and even sexual without actual sexual actions and from my point of view can give one more that just...
  14. N

    Why and how did you get into poly?

    I guess I've always known I have poly tendencies, although 20 years ago I couldn't name it correctly. But by the time people started their first "serious" relationships as teenagers, I always felt like I don't fit it. I've been a bit anarchistic towards usual mono relationships ever since. Over...
  15. N

    Staying away the best decision?

    Thanks people, different points of view is exactly what I needed here, sincerely. But alas, there has been a some kind of truce to all of this. All four of us sat down and discussed how this should go on and this is what we decided: 1) The girls can have their affair and see where it goes...
  16. N

    Staying away the best decision?

    Wow, things really are in a situation right now where everything happens fast. The boyfriend is not a douche by any standards, I've met him in a couple of occasions and he seems to be your regular type of mono-male, who cannot see love between two girls as a threat. Quite the opposite, he seems...
  17. N

    Staying away the best decision?

    Yea, I know somewhere in my heart that letting go would be the "right thing" to do. Thing is - and this is where the situation gets really complicated - that I've actually tried stepping away from the relationship twice. The woman knows how I feel about her and seemingly feels the same both for...
  18. N

    Staying away the best decision?

    Hello people! As I told in my introductory post, I've been living with my fiance now for over 10 years and most of that time, I've known that I am poly. My fiance did not get that at first, but suddenly the tables have turned in ways that I couldn't even imagine happening. We had a mono...
  19. N

    Hello everybody!

    A brief introduction is always a polite thing to do, so here is mine :) Me: A professional researcher from Finland in my mid-30's, been living with my fiance now for 12 years. We have a 10-year old daughter. I've been polyamorous pretty much for my whole adulthood when it comes to my mindset...
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