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  1. I

    So I accidently came out to my parents...

    Not really. My point - which I clearly made badly - is that yes relationships between all of the stakeholders are at play here. You are an important person in a number of lives and have chosen to live in a way that you know would be upsetting to some of the people in your life. I have no doubt...
  2. I

    So I accidently came out to my parents...

    I was thinking the same thing. I can't imagine dropping a friend or loved one in need of my company who I'd agreed to help with something important over something as trivial as my mum finding out something about me that she might not approve of. Mum and I are both grown ups and that sort of...
  3. I

    The Best Life Yet

    I'll miss your blog too. Your journey to date has been fascinating and inspiring. Wishing you masses of luck for the future. IP
  4. I

    Solo Poly vs...well, All the Rest

    I consider myself to be primarily solo. Just solo. I haven't had any awful relationship experiences. My parents were happily married until my dad died. Most of my childhood friends grew up in families where there parents are still happily married. I have neither cheated nor been cheated on. I...
  5. I

    The Best Life Yet

    I suspect that the point that autonomy crosses over into assholery differs from person to person and life to life. It's something that you need to figure out with the people in your life. Having said that, it sounds from reading your blog as though none of you (Reverie, Rider and Dustin) feel...
  6. I

    There is no poly exception

    Thanks. :) My life right now is everything I could want it to be. I found this forum years ago when I first started seeing my partner and he told me about poly - and about his view that it is the best way to go about having relationships. I thought it sounded fascinating and started to try...
  7. I

    There is no poly exception

    I love these sort of philosophical discussions - and I have to say that it is the difficulties that poly would present to my ethical view of the world that forms part of the reason why I chose not to have a poly relationship when my partner asked me to, since those are his preference. I have to...
  8. I

    The Best Life Yet

    I've had enough conversations with female friends in their early to mid 30s who have never wanted children and have suddenly found themselves changing their mind about it. Although I decided at a young age that I didn't want children, it wasn't until I was in my late 30s and seeing the effects...
  9. I

    The Best Life Yet

    Here's the thing, I'm not sure I would pay all that much attention to your silent "except babies" appending. Having babies is not only expected by society, it is also a huge biological urge. Bringing up children is a long term commitment requiring significant changes in the body of their...
  10. I

    I'm a hypocrite, and I don't know what to do

    I’m interested in the money thing. Is it the case that your husband looks after you financially? If so, maybe the way to help him get over his patriarchal thought processes is to stop being financially dependent on him? I think that while one person is dependent on another for food and...
  11. I

    The Best Life Yet

    Sounds really rough all round, Reverie. For what it's worth, it sounds to me like you are handling things really well - all of you. You, Rider and Dustin. Blow ups, hurt feelings and misunderstandings are - I think - understandable at this time. Especially from Rider. He's newly married and...
  12. I

    The Best Life Yet

    I wouldn't worry too much about time spent single or otherwise. I have a very close childhood friend who has never been single. She is one of the happiest people I know. Kind to those around her. Generous. Knows what she wants out of life and good at directing her life the way she wants it to...
  13. I

    The Best Life Yet

    Oh Reverie. I'm sad to read your latest update. It does indeed sound very tough. You seem to have lots of stuff going on all at once and you seem unsure of what it is that you want in the long term. I hope that you are able to work it all out.
  14. I

    I'm not finding long-term partners, he is.

    You can say fuck here if you want to. :D I agree wholeheartedly with your view - it's one I very much hold myself. I suspect that it isn't the sex itself that is stopping you from finding longer term partners - I'd guess lack of time plays a large part. If you are meeting and getting to know...
  15. I

    The journey to myself

    I work in I.T. :D The place I work went through a period of time where they were keen on flexible working arrangements for everybody (I think it may have been linked to a change in legislation which made it illegal to discriminate against people in the workplace - so non parents in theory could...
  16. I

    The journey to myself

    I think that people are taught from a young age to feel guilty and as if there is something wrong with them if they are not working all the time. The philosopher, Noam Chomsky, has lots to say on preparing people for dealing with the boredom and relentlessness of a working life is a big part of...
  17. I

    The Best Life Yet

    Sounds like the reading would be really helpful for Rider. I hope that it is. It also sounds as though this is something that isn't entirely a poly problem. I hear married couples wrestle with this sort of thing over a variety of topics. Female friends making comments about not being allowed...
  18. I

    Disentanglment; step 1

    I liked this article and think it's excellent advice in general - not just as a stepping stone to poly. I've always been really independent and found that when I was single for years that I was really happy that way. When I eventually allowed a boyfriend back into my life, I was keen that...
  19. I

    Polysaturation and heartbreak.

    It's an interesting discussion for sure. :) There were a couple of things that stood out for me in your response. Everybody has different opinions but it depends on your notion of freedom. Having romantic relationships doesn't feel freeing to me. I'll have one at a time if the right person...
  20. I

    Polysaturation and heartbreak.

    Hey Shaya, I don't post here very often so thought I'd join in. I don't have a negative view of polyamory and haven't been hurt by it - but still, I find your post interesting. I don't know that NRE is that big an issue. It seems to me that most people don't chase it and most people are happy...
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