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    It`s like I was just slapped in the face..

    I think it's awesome that you have what you have. I'm a little envious!
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    Disabled Folks

    just want to say hi... I have fibromylgia, chronic gut problems and aspergers (woohoo!). I'm used to people getting impatient with and critical of me because I can't do what I seem capable of. I suffered a lot of abuse and emotional neglect in my 2 marriages. then, just the other day, my lover...
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    privacy/ limits with secondaries

    I wouldn't be able to function in a relationship in which I was censored. I prefer to be open about my relationships, and being an introvert means I have a few close friends, and currently I have one lover and a fairly intimate relationship with his wife. I talk to them about people I'm...
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    Custody Battle- Starting to get scared

    for anyone who's interested, the PA court of appeals just overturned a case where the grandparents won custody because the parents were poly. the appeals court determined that the trial court's interest in the parent's sex lives was improper.
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    Custody Battle- Starting to get scared

    oops sorry Blazen... I missed your last post before I wrote my rant. it might be useful to check into a family evaluation. it's doubtful that your kids can testify... family court judges don't like to bring kids into divorce proceedings... but a family evaluator can interview everyone and write...
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    Custody Battle- Starting to get scared

    don't leave this up to an attorney. I learned the hard way that the only way to get your money's worth out of a lawyer is to educate yourself on the laws and statutes as best you can, so you know what you're dealing with. some states have made it very clear in their courtrooms that sexual...
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    a moment of extreme jealousy

    I have no words of advice, sadly... but I can empathize as I'm dealing with jealousy myself, and it makes no sense to me that I feel it... but like you describe, it's tied to my own feelings of inferiority :( I also run through scenarios in my head, and I hate it. I put myself in therapy to...
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    When the kids are not taking poly well...

    I really do agree with this ^. my kids do not have a problem with me being poly, but the circumstances in which I came out to them were far different. when I remarried 5 years ago my son was 11 and there was all kinds of drama because he didn't want someone else to be part of my life. I think...
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    Inner patriarch

    I respect you for your self-examination. it's not easy to confront our own beliefs. I went through something similar, although not identical, with my lover (who I formerly called FWB). although our relationship was all but over, as soon as I started seeing someone else he started having issues...
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    Yay, I'm confused

    I'm hoping myself that I come to the compersion phase with my new relationship. I was feeling really uncomfortable with NRE... really on edge between contact... and if E told me about any dates he'd been on I'd just end up feeling miffed if not downright jealous because we don't see each other...
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    I think I'm poly--what if I leave my marriage and find out I'm not?

    PassionFlower, I was in a very broken and miserable marriage and would have done anything to feel, including cheating on my (now ex) husband. luckily I had a friend who helped me get into therapy and I sorted out the issues with my marriage, before I ended up in a situation of using other...
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    Looking for info, advice and resources

    thanks for being so considerate :) and you're right, my brain is different. I find irrational emotions distressing. sadly, we all have them... even me! I was never shown how to use my rational mind to handle situations that other people intuit their way through, so I'm actually a late bloomer...
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    Looking for info, advice and resources

    brash? insensitive? I'm not sure what you mean ;) you can feel free to ask whatever you want. I put it out there for that reason. I do not accept paradigms solely on societal acceptance because I believe that society is, for the most part, led by a few who decide what our moral values should...
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    Looking for info, advice and resources

    I have not read "sex at dawn" but I feel like I need to. my status as polyamorous has been more of a return to something I once had and tried to give up to fit in. it's a far more comfortable fit for me, but not perhaps for my "FWB", so I have to tread carefully and consider his feelings as I...
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    skeezer broke my heart

    I'm happy to report that things are progressing. at least they aren't stuck where they were E's wife invited me and my kid to attend their last family movie night and it went really well, I think. E has been more accessible and seems to feel more relaxed about how things are going. FWB is...
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    Lonely for friendship

    I've been where you are. in fact, I went from polyamorous and bisexual to monogamous and straight because I was married and in a religious cult. after the divorce, it took me years to fully leave the cult and embrace who I really am and feel ok about it. even before I accepted who I am, I...
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    I have a problem...

    I agree with this wholeheartedly. everyone's feelings matter. I'm working double-time myself because one of my lovers, who I've been with 9 years, is having a lot of difficulty with jealousy, even though at one point we'd all but ended our romantic relationship after we opened it up. the...
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    My boyfriend is upset, can you overcome jealousy issues?

    I just want to chime in and say that when I was younger I dated a man with PE. he was so horribly embarrassed by it, but I never considered it a problem. he would ejaculate almost instantly the first time we had sex each time we were together, but a little while later he'd be ready to go again...
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    skeezer broke my heart

    I thought it was worked out but I spent time with FWB last night and he's spinning out emotionally. I don't know how this is going to resolve, but it may be that he'll decide to move on now rather than later. I told him today that I'd take all the time he needs for us to work through this, so I...
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    skeezer broke my heart

    my situation goes to illustrate how important REALLY CLEAR communication is in poly relationships, I guess. I finally met up with E last night and we talked for a couple of hours. apparently he has been talking to his wife and putting a lot of thought into the situation and has been wanting to...
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