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  1. JessicaBurde

    Suggestions for a Poly Resource Library

    Not really. Anita has some awesome stuff, but she's almost entirely focused on relationship how-tos. Jealousy, compersion, communication, etc. Not what I'm looking for ATM.
  2. JessicaBurde

    Suggestions for a Poly Resource Library

    Thank you! That's exactly the kind of thing I am looking for.
  3. JessicaBurde

    Suggestions for a Poly Resource Library

    Hey folks, I haven't been around much lately (life stuff went crazy), but I'm starting a new project and hoping folks here can help me out. I write Polyamory on Purpose, a blog about the practical side of poly life. I'm finally ready to start putting together a resource library on the website...
  4. JessicaBurde

    Unplanned pregnancy in polyfi triad

    If you see yourself as being in a relationship with him, and she is his wife but not your girlfriend/partner/spouse, than speak with him and let him inform her. If you see yourself as being in a relationship with both of them, then tell them both yourself. If you trust them not to gang up on...
  5. JessicaBurde

    Have you lost anything from being poly?

    I don't feel I lost anything from being monogamous. I don't think I could go try to be monogamous without feeling like I was stuffing myself into a too-small box. I did lost the family that raised me and my kids. The first was a loss that would probably have come anyway--my parents were...
  6. JessicaBurde

    Poly and kids not know and what to say when going out with a lover

    I'll add my voice to what others have said. Kids are smart little buggers and the last thing you want is for them to figure out you or their father are having an "affair." Whatever negative things you think might happen from being open pale before the problems that can come if one or more of...
  7. JessicaBurde

    Polyamory and Mental Illness: New Blog Series

    Not a small thing at all! I hope my blog had belped, and please feel free to ask if you have any questions. Making the adjustment to poly can be hard enough without PTSD riding your back.
  8. JessicaBurde

    I just can't seem to accept it.

    If the situation is upsetting you to the point you are having panic attacks, then you definitely need to address it. Attempting to accept your wife's feelings/desires does not and should not require making yourself ill. You approach to your marriage is far more possessive than I would be...
  9. JessicaBurde

    Polyamory Legal Challenges

    Thanks, kdt26417!
  10. JessicaBurde

    Interesting Points about "Getting the Government Out of Marriage"

    True--but spouses don't have the same financial rights everywhere, anyway. Some states in the US are "joint property" states, some aren't. While I'm not familiar with property law in the rest of the world, I expect there is quite a bit of variety out there. Multiple spouses in a non-joint...
  11. JessicaBurde

    Interesting Points about "Getting the Government Out of Marriage"

    One more time, with feeling: I was responding to ktd26417's comment I have not said anything about whether it could be done, should be done, etc. I have been attempting to address whether or not having separate "civil unions" and "marriages" would "help," and saying that I don't think it would...
  12. JessicaBurde

    Interesting Points about "Getting the Government Out of Marriage"

    I never said it would be hard to make these rights accessible. I said that simply creating two separate institutions, civil unions (granting federal and state rights) and marriage (private/religious matter) wouldn't address the issues created by poly marriage. How does next-of-kin scale? Are...
  13. JessicaBurde

    Interesting Points about "Getting the Government Out of Marriage"

    I don't know. Some of the rights that marriage gives are pretty easy to extend to multiple spouses--such as the ability to immigrate to the US if you've married a US citizen. Others, like employer-sponsored insurance coverage would be a hassle, but I can think of ways to make it work. I have no...
  14. JessicaBurde

    Interesting Points about "Getting the Government Out of Marriage"

    For monogamous couples it could be a workable solution, and I believe it is handled that way in some countries. For poly marriages...well, the government would no longer be able to go after people who had religious/private/spiritual non-monogamous marriages of varying sorts, but it would still...
  15. JessicaBurde

    Polyamory Legal Challenges

    Thanks so much!
  16. JessicaBurde

    Polyamory Legal Challenges

    Unfortunately US centric is an ongoing issue. I just don't have the time or ability to do hours of research for each blog post. Most of the time i can at least keep it Anglo-centric b/c most topics it's pretty easy to Google how things are done in Canada or Great Britain or Australia. The rest...
  17. JessicaBurde

    Polyamory Legal Challenges

    Given the discussions about poly marriage, I figured this would be a good time to start a blog series about legal issues poly folk need to deal with. Comments, questions, and additional info are all welcome. http://polyamoryonpurpose.com/polyamory-legal-challenges/
  18. JessicaBurde

    Interesting Points about "Getting the Government Out of Marriage"

    "Why privatizing marriage would be a disaster" http://theweek.com/articles/564916/why-privatizing-marriage-disaster
  19. JessicaBurde

    SCOTUS ruling

    Lots of legal terms: law, court (ecclisiastical court, sharia court, rabbinic court), confession, etc Relationship terms: divorce, family, parents (orthodox and conservative Judaism do not recognize my legal adoption by Christian parents, in Judaism my parents are considered to be my birth...
  20. JessicaBurde

    SCOTUS ruling

    By this reasoning, because diamond is a sports term, every engagement ring has connotations of baseball. I'm inclined to agree that trying to take the term marriage away from religious ceremonies is not a good thing, but I'm having a hard time understanding your logic.
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