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  1. lovefromgirl

    Why do I feel like a monster?

    Well, it wouldn't. It's a church, with people you say you trust now (wait until their next lapse in judgment -- they missed your ex high and wide!) and a message, I'm sure, of Love and Open Arms and All That Jazz What Hides the Fire and Brimstone. There are some charismatic charismatics out...
  2. lovefromgirl

    Why do I feel like a monster?

    The things you just listed would be setting off giant panic buttons in my head. Boyfriend's a closet pedo and, when called on his shit, apparently thinks threatening suicide is the way to go? No. You told the authorities. That is right. Now -- and here is the important part -- you get as far...
  3. lovefromgirl

    Why do I feel like a monster?

    That right there is more than an anxiety disorder. I have had anxiety for over a decade now (officially diagnosed in 2003 after a very special plane ride). I've known plenty of other people with anxiety. I have never seen it manifest like that, in me or anyone else. He should not have asked...
  4. lovefromgirl

    Feeling loss as a V "end" - the empty bed

    Picture me dabbing at my eyes with a crisp white handkerchief. I'm so happy things have worked out so splendidly for you all.
  5. lovefromgirl

    the agony aunt speaks.

    Oof! Oh, that is a tricky situation. At least nobody is actively taking Dad from us but Dad. I too feel for your sister (chaos and then this?!) but if there's one thing I'm learning, it's that people have to be happy or a marriage is worthless to everyone it touches. Mostly I miss Dad being...
  6. lovefromgirl

    the agony aunt speaks.

    Thanks ever so much, GG. You're right about the grieving. It comes on the heels of some pretty staggering losses (two family members, a close friend, and months of really good writing!) but the more I feel like I'm falling, the more spider-silk shoots out to grab me and anchor me in midair. I'm...
  7. lovefromgirl

    the agony aunt speaks.

    I aten't dead If you're the praying kind, please pray I can move forward through my family of origin's problems in a peaceful, calm manner. This is blowing me wide open to growth, but also to pain. I think they go together. I'm happy with my therapist. I'm discovering support I didn't ever...
  8. lovefromgirl

    the agony aunt speaks.

    DADT? Naaah, it's just cheating. There is, she says, a COLOSSAL FUCKING DIFFERENCE between poly and what's going on right now behind my mother's back. It is NOT "don't ask, don't tell" if you DIDN'T ASK your original partner whether zie consented to that arrangement. Which she didn't. A...
  9. lovefromgirl

    The Rise of PolyPhony

    Hey, look! Another penis is in the picture. :) I see you are comfortable with this man's energy. If I may ask, what sets him apart for you? What qualities in him would you potentially look for in a man for your OSOs?
  10. lovefromgirl

    The Rise of PolyPhony

    "At the beginning" would be my smartass answer. ;)
  11. lovefromgirl

    GalaGirl: Conversations Already in Progress.

    I'm taking the love languages quiz and all I can think is "Argh! They're BOTH true!" of the choices... I may have to do the one for singles to get a more accurate reading, because with CdM it's all glorious, but who's to say it'd be the same with anyone else? [edit:] Yep! Much more obvious what...
  12. lovefromgirl

    the agony aunt speaks.

    A funny story that's part of a sad one I'm watching Gordon Ramsay, right, and he's in the kitchen, so there's lots of dishes clinking and clanking. Only the clinking continues into the commercials. Well, nobody's going to break in and load our dishwasher. Mum stayed home today. . . ...
  13. lovefromgirl

    Is a diagnosable mental illness a red flag for you?

    This. Well, and a lot of the rest. But... yeah. I'm not NT, but I've learned how to manage mine. I see no reason why I shouldn't date someone similar. Key word: managing. I can imagine there are people for whom physical infirmity is a red flag, however. Lots of outdoorsy types wanting their...
  14. lovefromgirl

    Is Hugh Hefner poly?

    Did you miss the mod note? As I read it, AutumnalTone meant all of us, together, should be a bit more civil. I would hazard a guess that does, indeed, mean all of us.
  15. lovefromgirl

    Safe Sex

    Downloaded the chart, Anne. Thanks so much for posting the link! Even if we have our own established boundaries, it's good to get a look at what other people do.
  16. lovefromgirl

    Redpepper's journey

    This is how I seem to work as well. My dad's therapist isn't too happy about it, but she's not the one living here, being part of this family with everything we've experienced together. So. Very much something I want for myself in life. Learning how to see the benefits of this can be difficult...
  17. lovefromgirl

    the agony aunt speaks.

    It's been a rough process. I'm looking back at my own behavior toward some people and thinking that I could have given them a little more benefit of the doubt, or backed away and just not gone there. But past is past, and I can't change it. What I can do is learn from those who have been there...
  18. lovefromgirl

    The "How Are You Doing" Thread (redux)

    *horks a loogie* Well, I'm surprised I'm not the partner in the hospital, let's put it that way. Coming off twelve-odd months of sheer chaos, I'm looking forward to an uneventful autumn, one in which I grow healthier, not sicker. I finally got a therapist for the low, low price of a $10...
  19. lovefromgirl

    the agony aunt speaks.

    Dear you (and a tangent on kindness) We never loved in this life, and we probably won't, but we may in the next, and we do in my dreams. This is enough to keep me happy: just the freedom to love, even if I never say so (again). And it is enough to keep me away except for the odd social...
  20. lovefromgirl

    Huge Problem likely Small Issue for your veterans, please help

    Did I stammer when I said, earlier, that that sort of thing wasn't ethical? No? [edited: Or at least did I encourage that speech? Also no?] Good. Now that we're on the same page... I think of Hollywood and the like as insular, very different from anything I experience; yes, I think a man born...