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Hi Daniel, Some people really helped me out on here this week when I was desperate for help so your post caught my eye. I'm glad it did because I can speak to your specific request. 17 years ago my wife and I were monogamous and planned (still do) to spend the rest of our lives together. We...

THANK you, Tinwen. I'm glad its resolved too and the sad spots are beginning to fill with all the things I have ahead of me to create with friends, family and MYSELF for a while. To be fair - the last four months I did keep her abreast of my struggle. 6 months ago when her marriage "flared...

Well...my immediate fate is set before me. These expectations came from the routines we created over 4 years. My GF takes any changes to these personally ESPECIALLY if it results in me choosing to do something else while her husband is with my wife. Its residual resentment and jealousy...

Thank you for your support. It's nice to hear another person who has a grounded perspective on relationships chime in. I appreciate your encouragement. I have felt alone through this but feel very much supported now and I'm even solidly supporting myself again. Not tentatively, but...

Yes you highlight one of the major ways things ARE changing. My girlfriend sees this as nothing more than a logistical change. Instead of seeing each other 4 nights in a 14 day window we will drop back to 2 nights in a 14 day window...and I'm seeing the writing on the wall that it would...

Galagirl I wish I could give you a big HUG right now. You are absolutely right and for whatever reason your responses are speaking to the heart of my situation and to ME. I'm reading you loud and clear. I talked to my wife after my solo weekend last night. She pushed me a little where I...

Thank you both for your replies. I really needed to read your words today. I really needed the support. I have been dying all weekend without anyone to talk to, not many of our friends know about our situation and those that do cannot support me in the way that I need. Those that could I do not...

Four Year quad, afraid may be over...help? Four years ago my wife and I met another couple at swingers and after a year it became polyamorous. After another year we started doing things separately because there was too much emotional distress to manage doing things together. It worked well...

Yeah, I'm getting absolutely nothing. I don't have a spam filter to speak of. If it's filtering polyamory.com then it certainly should not be letting through all the swinger site notifications I get. It's just not working. Weird. I'm on other forums and those work just fine.

Yeah I thought that too. I did that to this one, actually. Nothing yet.

I was initially going to write something supporting "love based on the happiness of another..." because I have friends that I love and for one reason or another life has taken us in different directions and now that love is painful as I see them live through a tough transition into a way of life...

Glad I could pass along the help I often get on here. Just remember...everyone has bad days. As much as I am a confidant to J she is careful to make sure she doesn't abuse that. If she sees that she is stressing me out, usually by my reaction to her venting if I'm not in a good place, she...

Ever since I joined this site years ago I noticed that I do not get immediate email notifications to my subscribed threads even though my settings clearly reflect that. D joined the site for a time and she was getting them. Anyone have thoughts on a fix for this?

It was a bit different in my relationship with J than with D. With J it was QUALITY TIME, TOUCH, AFFIRMATION, SERVICE, GIFTS With D it was AFFIRMATION, TIME, TOUCH, SERVICE, GIFTS It was pretty cool to see my results represent the aspects of the relationships that are most important to me. I...

Through the beauty of polyamory I got D into LARPing in 2014 and this year we started two DnD 3.0 campaigns as well as painting figurines. To think, 2 years ago I never thought I would play again!!! Thank you poly!!!!

I don't think there is anything wrong with you wanting a confidant and I don't think there is anything wrong with you choosing your partners for filling that need. As long as they are willing and as long as you include responsible conversation with your partner/confidants about the intention of...

Interesting you say that FA, I was just talking with D this morning and she sent me the 5 love languages quiz. After taking it I confirmed what I knew already. Each relationship I have operates on some variation of my preferred love languages. In relationships I know that time is an issue...

So sweet of you! All of you have been great I can really feel the community and genuine caring coming through all your replies. Thank you, and thank you all! Soooo...last night was the second date after the weighty texts that sparked my initial posting I will say that I am extremely grateful...

Thanks! :-* When she texted me that she was curious what role she will play in my life, and subsequently texted me recently that she was so curious about "us" I have been getting the feeling that this is weighing on her mind as much as it is mine. I believe we both have the same goals = we...

I've spent the last day thinking about what Kevin said and one thing I have had a hard time reconciling was the notion of defining a "role" and also declaring a desire for a naturally evolution of "us". They seem to be at odds. I thank you for your post because that slices right through the...