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    How have you met your current / past partners?

    I met Nina while we were both at university studying for post-grads of one sort or another. At the time, I already in an open relationship with someone else. Nina and I weren't close at first - it was a few years of just knowing each other intermittently, but we went away on a conference...
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    Theory on NRE between m/f relationships

    So I found this topic interesting enough to do a little more digging. As tbrock says, there is quite a lot of actual scientific engagement with 'michrochimerism' in the scientific literature. However, here are two important take home messages from what that literature is saying. First of all...
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    Theory on NRE between m/f relationships

    I'm not fighting the academic literature or the scientific community. The authors of the studies discussed so far are not claiming DNA transferral: you are. My PhD had an evolutionary component, but biology is not my background. I'm a published scientist though, although that shouldn't...
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    Theory on NRE between m/f relationships

    I'm not contesting that viruses (and their DNA) can pass into a woman's body through sex. I'm also happy that other 'compounds' (terribly vague term, but hey ho) could enter the bloodstream. I mean, cocaine can be absorbed via mucous membranes. Many other substances can too. What I query is how...
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    Theory on NRE between m/f relationships

    Show me the studies that show DNA from male sperm become 'permanently bonded and infused for life' as part of a woman's DNA, because this is the part of your theory that I think is in most dispute.
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    Theory on NRE between m/f relationships

    Yes, I do mean semen. Sorry. I've been writing this all on the bus! The researchers themselves haven't figured out the precise mechanism, but have proven that contact with semen is important, and that the composition of semen is known to vary based on the nutritional health of the male.
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    Theory on NRE between m/f relationships

    Odd, but yes, you've nailed it. His jacked up nutritionally superior sperm (not his DNA) encourage her as yet un-ripe eggs to develop better than ordinary run-of-the-mill sperm would. It makes sense evolutionarily speaking because in a normal mating scenario, he would be the one reaping the...
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    Theory on NRE between m/f relationships

    I agree with you Mags, particularly with regards to condom use rendering most of this utter bullshit. However, I want to correct you on your summary of the article. There is no DNA transfer or absorption going on here. The article makes it very clear that this is a non-genetic transmission...
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    Theory on NRE between m/f relationships

    No evidence from this at all. Possible evidence that it occurs as a result of undetected pregnancies. But see my caveat at the end of my post here. I suspect the 'masculine traits' one is referring to here go part in parcel with having a high sex drive in general. Yes, women with higher levels...
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    Theory on NRE between m/f relationships

    I can't believe you cited this study! That's hilarious! Firstly, you do know that the effect a) wears off over a matter of months, and b) has no functional effect whatsoever. This short debunk from Scientific American will explain...
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    Theory on NRE between m/f relationships

    That's certainly not what the Crean et al 2014 article is saying. In Fig 1 they specifically talk about 'Offspring exhibit genetic effects of the sire (second male) and nongenetic effects of the first male '. NON-GENETIC EFFECTS. And they don't scale their study on flies up to speculating about...
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    Theory on NRE between m/f relationships

    You don't say where this gem of a quote comes from, but my humble suggestion is that unless those in Group D had NEVER ACTUALLY HAD SEX (impossible, else they couldn't then say it was unprotected contact with sperm that was the key factor), there is no way to know whether they had ever been...
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    Theory on NRE between m/f relationships

    I don't have time to get into this with you, but I just wanted to point out that here you have cited the same academic paper twice, and linked to a media report of the same paper. So. Three citations. One piece of research. On flies. Skimmed the abstract. Looks interesting, but it's a long way...
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    Polyamory and STDs

    "3. Without such precautions, how do others avoid exposing their partners to STDs via exposure to partners of partners?" I'm only fluid bonded with my primary partner, and we use barrier protection with everybody else.
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    Any Homebrewers?

    One of my partners, Zymurgist (see what I did there?) is an amazing home-brewer. Everything from stouts to lagers to IPA's to wheat beers to crazy experiments. I've watched him work on it and it's quite the science. I love that he gets so nerdily into it, and that he will let me add my...
  16. T

    Hello and help

    Hmm. So this is more a case of you being ok with your partner having a relationship with another woman, but not with another man?
  17. T

    Hello and help

    Welcome. Sorry you are coming into this from such a negative starting point - recovering trust after infidelity is hard, and makes the transition into an open relationship often very difficult indeed, since the basic currency we deal with in relationships is trust. I suggest you break your...
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    Ask a triad - advice column

    I figured addressing it as a unit issue would inspire them to figure out if it *is* a joint decision they've made, or something unilateral from one to the other. It might be a little passive aggressive in hindsight, but it doesn't seem right to approach it definitely as an 'I would like to have...
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    Ask a triad - advice column

    Give them a few days to digest what you *have* said. It would take some serious lack of awareness to not connect the dots themselves between 'I need one on one sex to feel good' and 'I need to date others outside this triad' and conclude that this is because the first thing is lacking in the...
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    What should I do?

    I think moving out to give yourself some stability sounds like a really good move, but I do think you should be alerting him that this is where your mind is at. This is probably going to be a shock to him, and I think he deserves a chance to really see how much his actions and behaviours affect...
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