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  1. P

    hurt, sad and looking for answers on betrayed trust

    Well that was blunt. And his marriage ended for neither of those reasons, and actually same with my marriage. Our trying poly was a symptom of what was wrong with us in the first place. Its amusing what feelings you get from people just typing on the internet....actually both my boyfriend and...
  2. P

    hurt, sad and looking for answers on betrayed trust

    Before I get to MM, to everyone else....I'll upfront tell you I don't want to ever deal with a woman who's going to date my boyfriend. Maybe, MAYBE I could handle someone we already know. SO yeah, I think we all know this probably isn't going to work. MM, interesting question. The only other...
  3. P

    hurt, sad and looking for answers on betrayed trust

    Thank you for sharing this Mighty Max! You actually describe more of what im envisioning...if some is going to stick around and be with my guy once a week or so (I would prefer he not see anyone more often than that) that's when id want to meet them. Or maybe im BSing myself...cause in my...
  4. P

    hurt, sad and looking for answers on betrayed trust

    I hear you IYE, but the part I don't agree on is meeting me. If a woman dating my primary partner refuses to meet me, I see that as a big red flag. Actually he and I agree on that one, so that ones not an issue. ;) Actually he says he doesn't take issue with any of them, we both know our big...
  5. P

    hurt, sad and looking for answers on betrayed trust

    Yes, good point. I shouldn't try to tell him hes not something because I wish he'd be something else. It's hard to discuss and work all out when I am just so worn out with poly, even the word gives me an ugh feeling in the pit of my stomach. The year I spent as poly was one of the hardest...
  6. P

    hurt, sad and looking for answers on betrayed trust

    I find my screen name ironic now. Anyway, we are going to couples therapy today to try to get on the same page. But this AM I mentioned ,so he wouldn't be surprised, that given all the history I feel like maybe hes jumping the gun on being die hard poly. He got agitated. I just feel like...
  7. P

    hurt, sad and looking for answers on betrayed trust

    Thanks slow poly, and all the others. I did not tell her to do it, I was pretty mad. She is a bit nutty and thought she was looking out for me. Man, cant add much else right now. too confused and hurt
  8. P

    hurt, sad and looking for answers on betrayed trust

    Thank you for your input. On the fluid bonding thing, that wasn't on the list cause the rule has been in place for a good 6 months, it did not need addressing. I totally see how you feel for him, and totally see how much this proves I am NOT poly. Our begininngs...I asked my spouse to be...
  9. P

    hurt, sad and looking for answers on betrayed trust

    Harsh, but probably true. No I didn't set her up to it, that'd be awful. My change of heart, poly vs mono I feel is that I tried something, and for me it didn't work. but I still love the man I found through it.
  10. P

    hurt, sad and looking for answers on betrayed trust

    what was unreasonable? Everything I read on trying to navigate a mono/poly relationship was that the mono person needed to be comfortable and the poly person needed to be poly...so he gets to be poly, and I ask for boundaries he has every right to ask for negotiation on. Not sure how else it...
  11. P

    hurt, sad and looking for answers on betrayed trust

    sorry about that, I was poly with my spouse. when we split up I realized I just wanted to be mono with BF.
  12. P

    Tired poly, but I think it may just be over...

    I have no profound advice...but I feel for you. very much. If its over, its over...and its hard, but everyone gets through it. Hubs and I recently split as I was "in love" in that manner with BF and not him. Hubs has had a hard time but its getting better. We can talk and stuff a bit more...
  13. P

    hurt, sad and looking for answers on betrayed trust

    Hey all. Recently things have calmed down some...though my spouse and I split...my boyfriend and I laid out our rules for being primaries and still poly. He is looking to date, I have no desire too. We agreed that -Knowing before he goes on a date -contact me after the date -introduce me to...
  14. P

    can poly be platonic?

    I hear where youre coming from, but I feel NRE is pretty worn off for us. Sometimes we even feel like we get stuck acting too 'domestic' . if that makes sense to you. We've had talks about re-spicing our sex etc. I think we are just a good match and both in odd places with the ones we are...
  15. P

    can poly be platonic?

    London, in reference to this comment and the one before....he does not and doesn't not intend to have a romantic relationship with his wife, his decision having nothing to do with me. They are split and that's that. As for my own spouse, or issues go back a long ways and I think in some ways...
  16. P

    can poly be platonic?

    I agree with those of you that feel platonic isn't poly. Like my BF and his wife still live together, but I do not consider them "poly" as they have no romantic relationship. I think I get over anxious and want to flee, with the spouse. Yeah sometimes monogamy with the bf sounds nice....but I...
  17. P

    can poly be platonic?

    nice way to put it, thanks :) I guess what concerns me is I feel no jealousy about my spouse dating/having sex and I am very jealous of my boyfriend (I am his only partner right now as he and his wife split up). I have just started questioning things....but I also don't know where my husband...
  18. P

    can poly be platonic?

    SO my spouse and I have been poly for about two years...Ive been with my boyfriend almost the same amount of time. I love him very much and we make an amazing couple. My spouse...I feel we've grown further apart. At first, it was great dating and connecting over that with one another, but as...
  19. P

    partners marriage trouble

    right, and that was discussed repeatedly, he could do it... I left.
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