Search results

Thank you all, this has been very helpful. I didn't actually have this this experience before, and it was difficult for me to find the words to express myself. For my own reasons, I'm not really emotionally open, and at times this language escapes me.

A month ago, an important member of my family died. My emotions since have been mixed. I'm struggling with the sadness I feel, and I am less interested in seeing or even talking to the partners I do have. My interest in physical intimacy is almost completely gone. Part of this is probably the...

Another thing to consider is what you, and your husband are telling your partners about each other. I had an experience where an ex would always vent to me about his wife. I spent years listening to how frustrated, and unhappy he was in his marriage. Even though strongly believe in not taking...

Yes, UH stands for unicorn hunters. I've had set limits on relationships when I was way too busy with classes, and home life to handle properly nurturing a relationship. I may again with grad school. There's just something hostile about the way these articles advise you to treat others. I...

Yeah, this reminds me of some of my experiences lately. After breaking off two LTRs in the same time frame, I hung out with someone who seemed to have read all that crap, and took it for gospel. I was looking for something casual, but he was so deadset on only contacting me when sex was desired...

I'm kind of happy the thread turned into this. From what I understand, a nightcap comes after a date? Netflix is the "date." But yeah, it's pretty much one of the oldest tricks in the books. I'm now imagining the better behaved cave people using "come and look at my cave drawings."

Haha! I'm sorry. It's such a common phrase now, that it's practically ubiquitous. I didn't really think about anyone not understanding. It's true that a lot of the people who contact me only want to watch Netflix, or otherwise laze about. Netflix and chill pretty much means come over and have...

Honestly, what I detest about bootycalls is that they tend to go one way. There's like zero respect. To those people, I'd tell them to invest in a professional. I couldn't be interested in that much rudeness, and tactlessness. Your experiences may differ.

Oh I see. Yes that'd be important in an FWB, and I'd want some of those things too (respect, value my time, abide my boundaries). I make sure we're friends first before I can call it an FWB situation, and friendship takes time. I don't get how that's feasible from an online ad, though I know it...

Well how do you define as a significant investment of time, and energy? I can feel all of those things seeing someone once or more a week, to several times a year. The time I spend with them is significant, and the time I allocate to hanging out with them is a big deal for me. I don't need to...

Thank you! I'm mostly an introvert, and I have social anxiety, but at my core I love going places, and trying new things. Lol, if you offer me a trip, I'll be ready like yesterday. I should just have a go bag for spontaneous trips. A 14hr flight sounds awesome right now, not for the flight...

I just didn't understand what you were talking about, GFT. I was more confused than frustrated. I don't speak for all solo people, just for myself. I'm not sure if I'll want that for life, or just for now. I have an ideal [for] entangled partner[s] in mind, but I'm not too anxious to find them...

Thank you nycindie. That's extremely helpful to me. I just read a blog that echoed what you're saying in a sense, and explained things as clearly as you did. Online dating is not something I'm used to. Some of those ideas elude me since you rarely meet people, and immediately dump everything...

Thank you for that! This is exactly my perspective, and I really needed to read this today.

Thanks for all the help. I'll take the advice given, and hopefully it will help me attract the types of people I'm looking for.

I know, and I don't see it as the same thing. I don't have a problem with people who have sex early as a way to bond, but I'm not wired that way. I can't connect emotionally with someone in that way. These are people who, in my opinion, are going about obtaining casual sex in a roundabout...

Oh, I see where I got confused. I was thinking/asking about finding partners both on, and offline, and I thought that comment was about real life interactions. Yes, I know that it happens to pretty much anyone, especially online. I'm big on calling it out in person, if I'm able to, both for...

Well I'm just pretty confused about their motivations. My perception is that they're trying to figure out the right things to say/do to get sex from me. This approach doesn't appeal to me, so I tend to end it as soon as I recognize it. Casual sex to me includes one night stands, bootycalls, fuck...

Maybe that's another sort of unicorn :). I definately do the things I'm interested in. When I meet someone that way, they're usually, and disappointingly uninterested in poly. Or they're cheating (or want to), and figure it's a way to be open with their next "side chick." You're right, I'm not...

Thank you so much everyone! I realize my thoughts may not be too well organized, but you've given me a lot to consider. Oh no, not at all! I mean they lead sedentary lives in their homes. They don't do anything that's "unnecessary." Work/school, home, and maybe grocery shopping. One, or two...