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  1. Len51

    Marriage and Polyamory

    My wife and I are married 45 years. 40 of those years were spent in a V with her best girlfriend who was happy to join our life. It helped that I had a crush on her since high school and we flirted ever since then, copping a feel when w could. Our gf started off living with us and then invited...
  2. Len51

    Partner turning to poly - help to adjust

    After seeing so many marriages destroyed, my advice to people in your situation is not to go poly if it bothers you. You can only suppress jealousy and insecurity, but never eliminate it. It will gnaw at you and rear its ugly head once in a while. Some say that you should adjust as if poly is a...
  3. Len51

    the unicorn and its hunters

    We were in your shoes once. We ended up with my wife's best friend in a V for 40 years with never a problem. We never discussed or labeled ourselves or the ladies' sexual identities. We just lived our life as if it was normal. In fact, it was our normal. My wife and I both knew our gf since our...
  4. Len51

    Let's talk metamours

    We had a strict rule, my wife and I played and loved together or not at all. Our marriage was prime and all else was secondary. My wife is bi and not too keen on other guys so we stuck with a woman to join us. She was a very long and close friend to both of us so it was very easy to incorporate...
  5. Len51

    Marriage and Polyamory

    Good question. My wife and I were in a polyfidelitous triad for almost 40 years and then found ourselves a monogamous couple again. Ours was one where all three of us loved each other and had sex together as a threesome and one on one. Our girlfriend had her own room in our home and we acted as...
  6. Len51

    Those strange patterns in your dating history

    Want to hear a strange pattern? I had three girlfriends starting at the age of 14. The first one is bisexual and we were engaged. She started to have sex with other guys when I was off to war. The second is also bisexual and dated other guys too but with my knowledge and OK since I did not love...
  7. Len51

    Fluid Bonding Outside of Marriage

    True story. Before we saw that light and formed a polyfidelitous triad, I was like many guys seem to be now. I got my wife to believe that poly was a good thing and I would never leave her. I did end up leaving her but went back to her when I came to my senses. The fun part was when I had sex...
  8. Len51

    Let's talk metamours

    My wife and I just ended a 40 year poly triad with a woman that we both loved and were sexual with. We are not big fans of metamours because we never saw it work longer than short term for any of our poly friends. We saw the drama and complications when someone got pregnant or an STD. We saw...
  9. Len51

    What are your rules?

    We were in a poly triad for almost 40 years and had no rules and no problems. We all loved and had sex with each other. We were all free to do what we wanted to with each other. No jealousy or insecurities by any of us because we all loved each other deeply and know our worth to the triad. Our...
  10. Len51

    single polyamorus male

    Thinking about this, poly is not just group sex. I am an old timer and it just seems to me that poly is being used to describe sex with more than one person. It is almost like people are giving the things we did and labelled differently, a mantle of respect by calling it poly. To us poly is a...
  11. Len51

    i need help

    It may just be me but I would leave her butt real fast. No matter what kind of relationships my wife and I got into, our marriage and each other always came first because we loved each other above all others. We did end up in a 40 year poly triad but it was with a women we both loved and enjoyed...
  12. Len51

    Confused and scared

    I hate to read things like this. I come across guys who use "Poly" to cheat guilt free. What he seems to be doing is forcing "Poly" down your throat. That is not what a loving husband does. Not telling his other partners is also a big red flag. If you allow him to walk all over you, you have...
  13. Len51

    Marriage and Polyamory

    We ended a 40 year poly triad with our shared girlfriend a few years ago. Only when it ended did we realize the benefits and we struggled to be a couple again. Our wife #2 fulfilled needs in me and my wife that we could not fulfill for each other. I am into BDSM and my wife is not. Our...
  14. Len51

    Maybe I'm Not Cut Out for This...

    I hope my story makes you feel better. My wife brought her best friend into our life. We were a poly triad for almost 40 years. I did not see her girlfriend behind her back because I could have all the sex with her that I wanted at home while my wife cooked us dinner. My wife said that she never...
  15. Len51

    i need help

    This is why we only had relationships with people my wife and I both loved. We tried it your way and it ended up with pregnant girlfriends, separations when we hit rough spots and spreading an STD to everyone any of us had sex with. The last straw was the destruction of the marriage of our best...
  16. Len51

    single polyamorus male

    I wish you luck but unfortunately there are millions of men in your same position. Men are a dime a dozen. Women are hard to find. I know because we have been looking for one for the last 5 years coming of a 38 year poly triad with a shared girlfriend.
  17. Len51

    Married 1st poly

    I am very alpha and would not tolerate my wife dating other guys. She is free to do so but not as my wife. :) Luckily my wife does not even want another guy. However, I needed other women and my wife never got jealous so I had relationships with other women after about 5 years into our marriage...
  18. Len51

    Lets talk Labels.

    Here is our take on labels. After 38 years of having sex with her girlfriend, I asked my wife for the first time if she considered herself bisexual. She responded by saying that she never thought about it. Imagine that. She still does not know what label fits her since she is only sexual with...
  19. Len51

    "Coming out" to your family & friends

    After 40+ years, our family and vanilla friends still do not know we lived in a poly triad for 38 years and that my wife is a practicing bisexual. We never told anyone nor were we ever asked. We feel it is none of their business and felt no need to inform them or seek their recognition. The fact...
  20. Len51

    Good to know Im not a bad person for my desires

    Unless your husband, a nice Italian man like me, is on board, you have a serious problem. In my case I was the one wanting other women and dating a few after I married. At one point I left my wife for another women but came to my senses two months later. My wife's solution was to invite her best...
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