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  1. J

    The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

    Just a quick note to jot down topics to discuss later - when I am feeling bloggy: MrClean - just off of hiatus, "doggus interuptus" Waif - MrS's foray into being a White Knight, "problem child", SEP
  2. J

    Openness and other personality traits (link to personality test in thread)

    I always struggle with these quizes - are they asking how I feel vs. how I act vs. how people view me? Me now vs. me throughout my life? For instance: question about avoiding responsibility - I grew up being hyper-responsible, oldest child and my parents trusted me and I wanted to live up to...
  3. J

    Kevin's Hetero MFM Poly-Fi V

    OMG I want to touch the puppy! (I am currenly dog-sitting a husky with my mastiff, Monday I am dog-sitting an asshole of a tiny terrier and a pittie...I love all of the cuddles, ALL of the time!
  4. J

    Kevin's Hetero MFM Poly-Fi V

    I love that you are reassuring Rainee re: love!
  5. J

    How to Make it About Her...When it's not About Her?

    I always love your advice GG but just wanted to point out:. The compromise can make many shapes. MrS is much more comfortable if I DON'T talk about my poly thoughts and feelings, he finds it exhausting, he would rather just hear my conclusions and discuss those objectively, just having me...
  6. J

    Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

    Thank you for reminding me to put this on my Bucket List as well - the videos are mesmerizing!!!
  7. J

    Green Tea KitKats are the best flavor

    My husband agrees that Green Tea KitKats are delicious - he has not had Milk Tea KitKats but is inclined to think that they would be delightful. (I predict a rise in our internet-fueled KitKat budget as of right STAT now!) JaneQ PS. He scored a mixed bag of Japanese flavored candies somewhere...
  8. J

    Consensual Non-Monogamy (LGB & Heterosexual) and Relationship Satisfaction

    Took the survey - I didn't know how to answer some of the question, it seemed to be asking not just about me but my (current/past/future) partner's willingness - I can only really speak to my own.. Also, the questions seemed to ask two things, but only allowed one answer. Willing to A but only...
  9. J

    Does marriage affect autonomy in Polyamory?

    :LOL: - Yes...did you not know you had a poly-doppelganger?!!:ROFLMAO: I was typing up a much longer reply (as usual) and decided to save it for a blog post...solo poly appeals to me, MrS would rather not have to deal with living with a poly person, we will figure stuff out...
  10. J

    Does marriage affect autonomy in Polyamory?

    "Marriage changes things..." "Sex changes things..." Conventional wisdom - which does hold some truth in terms of personal and societal expectations. I wrote in my blog a long time ago ( 10 years apparently) about the subtle difference it made to me after I married MrS (almost 26 years ago!)...
  11. J

    Rule has been broken... What to do?

    Umm... While I agree with DingedHeart that mis-interpreting the safer sex rule to apply only to sex workers is not really plausible...but - If you told him to find a girlfriend, then why would he NOT think an ACTUAL GIRLFRIEND?!?! (not necessarily bringing her to your shared house but...
  12. J

    Plur and poly

    My introduction to the idea of poly came from reading old Heinlein novels as a kid (it wasn't called poly then) and a fascination with folkrock and the historical1960s counter-culture movements and writings of that period. I have only recently come to appreciate some sub-genres of EDM and...
  13. J

    New Poly Peeps

    It does! Making the conscious decision to only agree to do things, take responsibility for things, participate in things that you have chosen for yourself - is incredibly liberating. It is useful to recognize that if "no" isn't an acceptable answer, then the person wasn't actually asking you a...
  14. J

    New Poly Peeps

    I do not consider my self to be a spiritual person, more of a practical philospher. :sneaky: I am drawn to concepts of mindfullness, mind-body awareness (such as yoga), living a life of intention and authenticity, voluntary simplicity. Writings on secular buddhism often strike a chord...
  15. J

    Kevin's Hetero MFM Poly-Fi V

    Yay to "good day"s!!! (I had one, too!)
  16. J

    Hey from Finland!

    Hello and Welcome! Read, ask, share as you feel comfortable. Excited but nervous is a perfectly reasonable place to be starting from. How far along are you in the process of Disentangling? If you haven't come across this concept previously, this article is a good place to start...
  17. J

    The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

    Poly/Mono - this one is easy - I'm poly. Whether I am in one relationship, no relationships, or multiple relationships - I was poly before that word was accepted in the common lexicon - I was poly before I had romantic feelings for anyone - I was poly before I had sex - I realized I was poly...
  18. J

    The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

    Observations of myself: Cis/Trans - my gender-assigned-at-birth and my gender-identity match, so I am a cis-female - my gender-identity is not particularly important to me and feels more like an accident of biology * I am fine with the body I live in, it's mine, I use it to enjoy certain...
  19. J

    The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

    I know I have pondered on this before...but, in updating my sig I am, yet AGAIN, contemplating labels - not because labels themselves are important (I think that they are just short-hand - if it comes into play IRL then an actual conversation has to happen) but because I think that contemplating...
  20. J

    Living Truthfully Within

    Yay!!! HAPPYYY!!! So glad to here that things are coming together for you so well! JaneQ