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Hi Debbyandray. I was passing on a bit of information from Dan Savage so you wouldn't have to leave this site. One stop shopping so to speak. Warm regards, Rick.

Suggest Hubby be GGG. Hi DebbyandRay, everyone. Dan Savage is a sex columnist at a Seattle Newspaper and he has a bit of advice that I think might be of use to you and your husband. He says that we should try to be Good, Giving and Game (GGG) lovers. Good means that we should strive to be...

Your husband is willing to let you explore your needs with other people. This is not a small thing, it is quite rare in our society. My wife has a much lower sex drive than I, thus I usually suggest we jump into bed. I am thinking, "it has been 2 days!!! Aughh!!!" She thinks, "It has been...

Hi Sage, I'm reading your book now and I have some comments. -- A couple times you say, "I'm mono." I know what you mean but your readers likely won't understand this slang. I would suggest you show this work to some people who know NOTHING about polyamory and ask them to list any slang...

Hi Sage, I've been very busy and it has been a few months since I've logged onto the polyforums. I just saw your link this minute. I hope to be able to read your book and comment soon. Warm regards, Rick.

Thanks RedPepper! This sort of index is very useful, finding useful organized information on a giant forum is very hard. I salute you and hope that you up date it from time to time. Very warm regards, Rick.

Best of luck. By the way, LDR = Long Distance Relationship. Took me a bit before I figured this out. My wife and I had a 3-year LDR, driving up and down I-5 and having to cross the border. We wanted to see what it would be like to live together for a while before we got married. So even...

Hi DazednConfused, I am enough of a romantic to think that it is better if there is real love, rather than just lust (not that there is anything wrong with just lust). My definition of love is Robert A. Heinlein's: "Love is the state where your own happiness is dependent on your loved one's...

Hi Everyone and Myelsewhere, Lately I seem to be running into a lot of variations of this situation: someone makes a mistake and the other person claims betrayal/cheating. As far as I'm concerned, you have to do something vile to betray someone, as in: breaking a promise, ignoring a vow...

Hi Erato, No problem. I misunderstood what you were saying. Warm regards, Rick

Hi DazednConfused, So sorry to hear about your mom. I appreciate that you are trying to take the high road, give them time to make their own mistakes, and learn from them, etc., but I think that things have reached a crisis. You need to save your strength for yourself and your mom. If they...

Hi Cyrus, I take issue with the poster above who says, you are already cheating on your wife since you think she wants you to have feelings only for her. People can't control their emotions. You can't say, 'I will not be jealous,' or 'I will not develop romantic feelings for this woman,' or 'I...

Hi Vexxed, It is totally possible to become a secure person after being insecure. I did it. But it is very hard to change your personality, and you will backslide from time to time. There is some truth in 'fake it until you make it.' If you present yourself as a friendly outgoing person...

Hi Ediblestrange, I figure about 10% - 15% of the people I meet are assholes. I don't spend time with them; I don't allow them to get power over me; I avoid them. I can see no reason why you would want to spend time with her, and if somehow a poly family formed with her in it, she would just...

Hi SimpleSimian, In poly, people are free to negotiate what ever rules and guidelines that they want. It is pretty typical for the person who is least easy with poly to want to make a bunch of restrictions and rules to protect themselves. This is natural and perfectly understandable...

Moving too fast? ------------------- We have only known Dom for 3 weeks and have really strongly connected with him. (We've only slept with him 3 times counting Red and his solo flight.) He has helped us clean up the yard and throw a bunch of stuff into the big dumpster we rented so I've seen...

The Jealousy Thing: ---------------------- When we had decided to open our marriage, neither of us were greatly concerned with feelings of bad jealousy. I had a good reason to think I would be cool. A long time ago, a couple years after we had just got married, Red and I went to an SCA event...

The swinger meet and greet: --------------------------------- I don't want this blog to be a blow by blow of our dating history so I'll make things march. We went to the swingers party to meet Jack and Jill, and had a pretty good time. Almost all of the people there were interested in hanging...

The joys of poly dating. --------------------------- Dating was something Red and I were not looking forward to. We are both heavy, (she more than me). She has a harder time meeting strangers than I. We are both fairly old. Also, most people are not looking for a couple. We had decided we...

The next week - Do we WANT to be poly? ------------------------------------------------ Red and I talked about that party a lot in the next week. Red was a bit put out. If people are going to be naked and screwing at a party, it is only polite to let ALL the guests know. She told me not to...