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    Where To Go From Here

    Your problems resonate well with me, I have a similar life situation. We've been discussing about polyamory for a long time, my partner is also trans* and I think that not being cis-gendered makes him think that he can't find other partners, it's too risky for him etc. He has a low self esteem...
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    it's ok for her, but not for me....

    It also sounds like she should be doing a lot of work with her insecurities. Is she willing to do that? Is she committed? To me it sounds like her behavior stems from a lack of self-esteem. At least for me that kind of thing does. Now the tricky part for you OP is that there's really not that...
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    The Polyamory internet meme

    Well, I do think this is funny. :p https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150572324199607&set=a.63908119606.74071.642229606&type=1&theater
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    Dealing with guilt.

    I think you should let her go. She sounds like a mono person and she's making that clear. You've said it yourself
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    OPP/OVP thoughts?

    I don't know if other people's feelings can be policed like that? I for one usually end up dating transgender people even though I thought I was going to look for ladies. And that's great, it's just how life is, it never turns out as planned.
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    Forum newb, our poly life, looking for a friendly ear.

    All the best to you. Your family sounds amazing. Maybe you could find some poly events or gatherings somewhere nearby to alleviate the feeling of exclusion? And wow I'm so sorry for your situation, your neighbors sound like total assholes.
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    Your fave poly books - fiction and non fiction

    The well-known fantasy/sci-fi author Ursula K. Le Guin deals with polygamy or other forms of non-monoamory in many of her tales, I could for example suggest her great collection of short stories The Birthday of the World. The best sci-fi there is...
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    Secondary messes / Roller coaster ride

    If you want my piece of advice, I think your main problem is that you're in a new city being lonely and sad. That's why you put so much meaning in #1:s texts etc. So I would advice you to focus on yourself, to keep busy, start new hobbies, get to know the new city and have fun. Don't put so...
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    Wife's bf's wife has a cuckquean and SM setup. Dysfunctional or am I being a dumbass?

    Yes; but concerning the topic of this thread I would strongly urge that all people engaging in BDSM relationships (especially 24/7) would consider other people as well. In my book, BDSM is all about consent and OP of this thread has not consented to seeing that kind of stuff - it makes him...
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    Bi Assumptions

    I agree when it comes to the mainstream LGBT movement. But the radical queer movement/scene is totally different, also with regard to poly people. At least where I come from. However, it's not easy if you're straight and involved in the queer scene, a lot of prejudice there towards straight...
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    Wife's bf's wife has a cuckquean and SM setup. Dysfunctional or am I being a dumbass?

    This is an important point in my book. For the record, I do live in a D/s relationship but I'm a very private person. I get very uncomfortable when people show stuff about their sex lives in public to non-consenting third parties. In D/s verbal abuse etc. can be defined as sex (at least for me...
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    Bisexual, Pansexual, Polysexual...is it all semantics?

    Ahem, hermaphrodite is not the correct term, that would be intersexed/intersexual. Hermaphrodite is actually quite offensive :/
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    Wife's bf's wife has a cuckquean and SM setup. Dysfunctional or am I being a dumbass?

    This. The general distinction in my opinion would be that in a functional D/s relationship the humiliation and power play should be empowering and a positive experience for all parties concerned. If she doesn't seem happy, that would be a huge red flag for me. I think you should address the...
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    Bi Assumptions

    Where I come from, the BDSM scene is very much hetero-oriented and mainstream. However, I'm queer, my partner is queer and there is a big overlap in the political queer scene with the polyamorist scene. Someone once told me that there are two kinds of polyamorists - the activists and the...
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    Looking for..advice? guidance? Someone to talk to?

    Congratulations :) Since the custody of your child is probably going to be yours and your boyfriend's, maybe it would be nice to make a parental responsibility agreement between the three of you about taking care of the baby? It's normal practice in lgbt families where it might be that some...
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    The pace of the one who is struggling most

    Oh this sounds so familiar. I'm sorry you are struggling with the same problems :( One thing that helped in my situation (at least a bit), was figuring out our different languages of love. http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/ (I'm not promoting the book)...
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    The pace of the one who is struggling most

    Oh gosh, that sounds so familiar. I got the same treatment from my partner a little while ago. Accusing me of being selfish when I broke some unwritten rule that only existed in his mind. Your husband is struggling with this, obviously. You have a lot of work ahead of you. But don't...
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    not quite new, but finally having to deal

    Welcome :) I feel for you. Mostly because I'm in a similar situation, though my partner is the one struggling and I'm the one who wants to get involved with someone. And even though we've been talking about it a lot, and even though in a political level he feels it is right to let someone be...
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    Mono/poly or what

    That's true, and I think it applies to my partner as well He's just too scared to try! How to convince him? :confused:
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    Wife thinks that I am neglecting her in favour of my secondary. She's right.

    I think that first of all you should stop looking for the bad guy... It sounds from the information that you've given that you haven't stopped caring about your wife's supposed affair in the past and therefore are acting in a passive aggressive manner towards her. I can be totally off but...
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