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  1. J

    UK Chat

    Hey Cornwall couple, we are based in Somerset so not too far from you 😊
  2. J

    The “Excuse for Cheating” and Fetishizing Punishment

    I think cheating is far more socially acceptable than poly. I wouldn’t want to waste the thought process, time or energy fantasizing about how to punish someone… unless it was in a sexual way. ;)
  3. J

    Public perception UK

    Well, we are open with our other relationships. We also have children who understand our dynamic. They are all very accepting and our teenagers have quite poly outlooks. Our 7 year old doesn’t discuss it with her friends as, “They wouldn’t understand and would think it was weird”-- her own...
  4. J

    Public perception UK

    I think that’s a really hard thing to define. We came from a swinging background and even amongst fellow swingers, it’s pretty frowned upon. I don’t think it’s particularly socially acceptable…but we often go out as a 4 and have never been challenged. What context are you thinking?
  5. J

    Unreasonable request?

    I told Pet I was considering this and he has taken it rather personally. He feels it shows a lack of commitment, whereas I would argue it’s the exact opposite. He is less than keen on the idea. It’s so hard meeting everyone’s needs and getting things right.
  6. J

    Unreasonable request?

    It does, in the sense of wanting to maintain stable relationships. It’s open and the children are aware of the set up. It’s pretty normal to them now. Thank you for putting a slightly different spin on it. I hadn’t really looked at it that way.
  7. J

    Unreasonable request?

    Yes, absolutely. However, it’s me that gets frustrated with the constant intrusion and I feel Jam is reluctant to address this. We have very few rules or boundaries, mainly because we did to start off with, and they were broken. The bedroom is a phone-free zone, but other than that, we can both...
  8. J

    Unreasonable request?

    Yes, there are children involved on both sides. The phone/texting bothers me. Jan is very chill about it all. I feel he edits his behaviour to ensure he can message. This frustrates me, as I feel it’s a constant distraction. For example, we went to dinner last night and he insisted he go to...
  9. J

    Unreasonable request?

    It isn’t always date nights. We get a couple mornings a week together where we generally do something. We went golfing last week. But I do feel that intimacy is lacking. No swinger-style arrangements. Even as swingers we were autonomous. We are both in charge of our own relationships. But there...
  10. J

    Unreasonable request?

    Thank you for your response. I think my husband doesn’t feel it would be helpful for him, as he's never has any issues and he would miss the contact. However, there is a willingness from him to improve our relationship. But he has this blind faith that we will come out in a good place in the...
  11. J

    Unreasonable request?

    Here's a little bit of background. I will try and keep it brief. We have a KTP quad set up. I, Jingle (F) and my husband Jam (M) have been together 12 years, swinging for 7 years, poly for 10 months. We are in a closed quad relationship with Pet (M) and Lucky (F) who have been married 25 years...
  12. J

    Issue caused by my wife's new relationship

    I was just about to ask the same. It can’t be disease-related if you are already inside of her. Could you elaborate, please? I can’t make sense of why you can’t have sex as normal.
  13. J

    Quad…I feel indifferent to my husband.

    Thank you for asking. I got some really great pointers that have helped massively. Things have definitely improved between myself and my husband. We have talked a lot and made sure we are investing time in each other. We have mostly split the 4 at the weekends, so we do seperate things with...
  14. J

    Quad…I feel indifferent to my husband.

    if anyone has any tips on how to manage the constant messaging too, that would be really helpful. A&L start at 7am and it doesn’t stop until midnight. I don’t want to unnecessarily restrict him but I feel it is driving me a little insane. What boundaries do other people have. What are...
  15. J

    Quad…I feel indifferent to my husband.

    Thank you so much all for your replies. There have been some absolutely amazing responses. So we sat down and had a long chat about everything. There were many tears and a brutal level of honesty. We are looking at the scheduling, the point about not needing to be privy to the PDA between...
  16. J

    Quad…I feel indifferent to my husband.

    They are ok, but I would say they weren’t as close with each other in the first place.
  17. J

    Quad…I feel indifferent to my husband.

    Good afternoon… It is my second time posting on this group after a rambling first post at a moment of need. So please allow me to introduce myself again. My name is J, I am married to my husband A, we have been pretty happily married for 12 years. Swinging for 7 years. We were part of a triad...
  18. J

    New territory, not dealing….tips please

    I don’t think I explained myself too well. Me, Beth and bob lived together in a three way relationship for 6 months. The issue came when I was out of the country for a week and they continued, with my consent, but I had a very strong emotional reaction that was totally unjustified. I felt...
  19. J

    New territory, not dealing….tips please

    Thank you for your comprehensive reply, certainly some very valid points. You summary is almost spot on except the 6 month GF was both of ours. I very much feel like it is a transition and I am just trying to navigate through it. We both want this but both are finding some aspects a little...
  20. J

    New territory, not dealing….tips please

    Myself and my husband of 12 years have been swinging for the past 6 years. Two years ago, we spent 6 months in a relationship with another female. Which went south as they had an amazing time together while I was out of the country. We had always played together before that. I was so jealous for...
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