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Well "it's not polyamory unless everyone consents and I don't consent" and "the three of you (that's me, my ex-lover and her husband) ganging up on me" and "there's no point trying to persuade me" is the level of response. Not exploring any possibilities, not discussing why she feels so jealous...

I realised I was poly when I fell in love with another woman. My wife and I were not good at communicating at that time so, to my regret, I failed to talk to her before beginning an affair. Of course she found out and it did make us reconsider our relationship and begin talking properly. Even...

@FlameKat 6 months and still hurting? Poor you. Poor A. Yes I suspected that this is going to be a long haul - and though I was the one who made the decision it was not a decision I wanted to make so I don't think it's any easier.

The other thing is that deep down I don't believe it's over, even though t is. How long does it take?

@Magdlyn - We are heading for couples counselling. Actually we are communicating better now than ever before. If we had had this level of communication earlier, and I'd felt able to discuss polyamory with T before embarking on the affair I wonder if things might have been different. I'm not sure...

No, not too harsh at all. I appreciate such an honest response. You might be right. I certainly feel very sorry for myself which is not a good state to be in. My inability to deal with emotional conflict, mine and others, is at the heart of this. The fact that I used the word "sacrifice" is...

Hi, I hope no-one minds me joining this thread. I haven't posted anything on the board for 18 months, which is when my experience with polyamory began. Now it has ended - and I'd just like to share if that's OK. I've appreciated reading the mono side of the discussion. I admire you all so much...

Thanks people for your kindness and thoughtfullness. I can't expect others to solve my problems but it's so helpful to be able to express my feelings to such a warm and compassionate community. I'm sure the world will change. with love

I've just joined the forum and posted a similar question in the Introductions forum ("rather scared newcomer"). I haven't even found a way to start the conversation yet ! How did you start it ?

How do you even begin to tell your wife that you love someone else but that doesn't mean you don't love her less? I would bet she hasn't even heard of polyamory. Why wouldn't she see it as a threat to her happy, stable life? Why wouldn't she it as a betrayal? I can see why people cheat - it's...

Yes, they know each other very well. We live in the same town and they have worked together in various community groups. We've been out together as a foursome and shared meals together. However I get the feeling that recently my wife has backed off their friendship and I suspect it's because...

Hi folks, My story is that I've been married for more than 30 years and I'm still deeply in love with my wife and I'm sure she is in love with me. We're never happier than when we're together, on holiday for example. We've never restricted each other's interests and friendships - we do some...