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Evidently this struck a cord for you. Let me first say I posted to get some outside perspective because my feelings were heightened due to the situation - I didn't expect to get a slap on the wrist - but appreciate the constructive advise that has been offered in this thread. To your first...

Thank you for the feedback!!! I was able to take a step back knowing things are so hightened. Hubby and I were able to talk without so much charged emotion. Before I go there I did want to respond that I have been there. Hubby had emergency surgery (aren't we the pair lol) and it is definitely...

It is his way of coping. I know it is. I don't understand it. But it's who he is. I find it hurtful. Because of that my thought was there are other ways of coping that would not be hurtful to me. This is a new new person. He litteraly just started talking to her this week. She's actually...

Hubby and I have very differing opinions on this subject & have for years. Texting has caused conflict because of differing views. I have at times requested Hubby limit or eliminate texting during specific times such as when we're doing something special with our daughter, dinner with parents...

Is it a deal breaker to date someone who is cheating? Hubby & I have a differing opinion on this. One of the biggest things I value about open relationships as well as poly is honesty & respect. I personally would not date someone that I knew their partner was in the dark & they were in...

Thank you so much for the feedback! I've actually had Hubby read this thread. He agreed with your post and feels after the pouting she's not the right fit. Yesterday really determined that for him. He's not talking to the degree that he was but he has said good morning & let her know what we had...

UPDATE: Wednesday was Hubby's last final and so we've had some time to talk a bit (as much as possible between family time). We had a come to Jesus meeting after he signed up to stay late at school after his final. One of his professors offered extra credit to listed to speeches for students...

No. I asked him to tone down the frequency of the texts because it felt like it was overwhelmed with how invasive it felt. It was already agreed we would NOT see anyone this week while we were away with his parents. It wasn't necessary to ask for that - it was discussed and agreed. He said he...

Thank you for the responses! It happens that he met her very shortly before a family event and so the agreements that have been made are different than what we may do/expect on the norm. On the norm I do not think it necessary to ask me before discussing with her about scheduling time for a...

Hubby and I have moved forward from our failed quad experience and feel like we have learned some lessons. We're giving a try at establishing completely separate relationships. I had a new friend that started out as purely friendship. She expressed an interest in more. So, we've been on a...

That first portion of that statement was to explain in relation to us wanting things equal and that it's not a they just don't click issue but that it's not an option. The fact is not everyone falls in love. Not everyone who dates is a perfect fit. We went into it knowing that. That's...

I'm sorry if that's the impression I'm giving. Yes, as newbs that was the original concern, on Hubby's end especially. It didn't feel so great that BF and I were hitting it off so well but it wasn't the same with her. He has since realized and accepted that its not reasonable to expect...

Here in lies the rub and to me at this point is almost a deal breaker. We did all sit down to have a talk about what we were looking for when this all began. When the lopsidedness began he attempted to talk to her about it and she was very coy and wouldn't give him a straight answer. I...

I've been posting recently about a relationship Hubby and I have with another couple. There have been concerns because of imbalance between my relationship with her Hubby and she with mine, our general navigating because we are poly-newbs & feel like we're floundering a bit because we're having...

I think that was the most frustrating part - it appeared we did want the same things initially. We did talk about the mundane things as well as sexual initially. We've talked philosophy, religion, politics, goals in life etc... Now any interaction we have beyond the morning hello is initiated by...

No, our dates are not group. We've had the ocassional four of us get togethers. But the standard is that he comes to visit me and Hubby goes to their house. It began with seeing one another separately so we're all comfortable there. Our date nights are only when all four are available. Hubby and...

Jade thank you for your feedback and food for thought. We primarily see each other one night a week and ocassinally spend and an additional night. Typically we see each other for about 3 hours. Ocassionally we may all four get together for a movie or game night. Maybe I am asking for too much...

How long do you give a new relationship to blossom? As I've posted Hubby & I are in our first semi-poly relationship. We met via a swinger website & were thrilled to find a couple interested in poly. Initially it was very one sided in that the male partner & I communicated often and the...

Update... Thank you all so much for the great feedback & advice. I was able to address my concern. Evidently I need to quit over thinking things & act the same as I would in any other intimate relationship as well as stop basing my decisions on my experiences in the swinger culture. It was...

I think this has enlightened more for me about the poly community vs swinger. Swinger IS very couple centric. There is communication but it's different. Clinical is a great way to say it. Because the goal is sex it's gotten out of the way right away . There's the initially get to know you', do's...