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I agree with what the Senior Members above have said, but I would add - don't be too hard on yourself. There is nothing wrong with being focused on your own needs and wants. You seem to care deeply for your husband and your relationship (I can relate). But at the same time, your wants and...

Exactly. Everything I've read about this study points in the opposite direction from the conclusions drawn by the OP. The whole premise feels like a collision of sexism and confirmation bias.

I've seen this reposted on a couple of different forums, and I still think it's the silliest thing I have ever heard.

Because of the shape of my eyes. ;)

You hit the nail right on the head and said everything that I came here to say. To me, this man is a liar, and this situation is NOT okay.

Hi Anne - First of all, I am really sorry to hear how troubled you are. But you are really asking about two very separate situations, the only common element between them being you. Yes, I do think it is okay for you to negotiate not inviting your husbands lover into your home as a limit...

That sure sounds like "in love" / NRE / infatuation to me. Maybe it's just the words themselves that you are uncomfortable with?

No unprotected sex with anyone, not even myself. :D j/k My husband and boyfriend, unprotected. New flings, protected.