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Yes, yes, and yes.

Hmm, that's interesting about the vitamin D. I had my annual checkup a couple weeks ago and my vitamin D levels were a bit low. Fingers crossed that taking supplements helps cut down on the bruising a bit. I've been passing along all the other ideas offered here and am just letting my husband...

Thanks for the words of advice everyone. I'm not sure I have more to add at the moment, but you've all given me much to think about. I had good (if tough) conversations with all involved last night. My husband has been seeing a therapist for the last few months--and I have too. We've no...

Dingedheart, When we first started opening up our relationship I hadn't realized I was quite as interested in kink as apparently I am. I did raise it with him before I started dating my BF, though, so he did get to "sign off" on it before I started this relationship. He's currently not dating...

Thanks for the responses. I enjoy pain, but the whole humiliation/service side of things isn't really my cup of tea. E-stim has been raised as a possibility--might have to explore that I guess. My husband has been very clear that BDSM just doesn't appeal to him at all. It took a fair amount of...

I've read through this thread and looked around the forums a bit and can't seem to find anyone struggling with the issue I'm struggling with right now. My husband and I are still fairly new to poly, but doing much better than we were several months ago when I was posting a bit more. He's quite...

When I take the test I usually come out either INTP or INFP--but always I, N, and P. I used to be very interested in personality typing, both with Myers-Briggs and the enneagram. I don't know if INFP is necessarily more common among the polyamorous, but I do know that it's a personality type...

I made this same mistaken assumption. We're working through it, and I'm sure you and Tess can, too.

Hi Freetime, I've been reading your thread for a while, because so much of what you've written resonated with the feelings I was experiencing. So much has changed for me since I started this thread. The woman my husband (Nexus) was seeing when I wrote this broke up with him to date her...

Boo! I hate it when the forums eat my responses like that. It's happened to me a lot, so you think I'd learn at this point to just copy everything before I hit submit, but I never do.

I think this makes a lot of sense. I know a lot of my unease in opening up my relationship is feeling very ungrounded and that there are no relationship "rules of thumb" to look toward. In a mono relationship, there are some basic guidelines like the "third date rule" or how long is normal to...

Agreed. It was an amazing day. Spent with my favorite person.

It's a really great book. I'm currently reading it and I also bought the audiobook by Tara Brach called Meditations for Emotional Healing and finding both very helpful in getting past a lot of the emotional baggage I have from growing up that's making the change to poly in my marriage difficult...

Hi baby!

Actually, selection pressures don't act upon the species as a whole. Most research supports Dawkins' theory that evolution acts at the level of individual genes, although I think there are a number of biologists that disagree and believe it acts at the individual level. Basically, there is...

The quote that bothered me seemed to imply that the desire for paternity certainty was conscious. But it's entirely possible that it was one of those shorthand ways of describing evolutionary processes that seem to indicate motivation or goals where there are none. I've only gotten to just that...

I'm not koifish, but I'll throw one out there. I have a BA degree in evolutionary biology, and found that although the authors have a lot of interesting ideas so far (I'm only just beginning the book) they make a couple common mistakes in their understanding of the mechanisms behind natural...

I'm realizing I'm becoming more comfortable with it in starts and stops, in little epiphanies and then little backsliding.

A Mark Twain quote that I try to remember when I start worrying about "what ifs" is this: I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. ~Mark Twain

Kidd, have you tried meditation? My husband and I are still new to poly and him dating another woman has triggered a lot of the same fears of abandonment and insecurity that it sounds like you are experiencing. Lately I often feel overwhelmed and like my emotions and intellect are all out of...