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I have a question... does your wife *want* to lose weight? Or is it an issue of your wife wanting to be/feel accepted as she is, however that might be? There are a lot of fat people out there who do not *want* to lose weight. It's far "healthier" to learn how to accept oneself than to attempt to...

Here's my problem with the whole "tell her bit by bit," "only give her so much information," "don't tell her anything until...?" approach: I believe it puts the person from whom you're withholding the information into a non-consensual position. She didn't decide to be with a person who couldn't...

Wellll.... the handle is a bit of a double entendre. Just trying to be as honest about myself as I can be anonymously. ;) We had a very long talk today about things. I don't know exactly where we are headed from here. But we did discuss possible unfixable gaps in compatibility. I do have a...

Wow. That sounds awful. I'm sorry. It sounds like she has her own agenda and she doesn't seem to concerned with how you feel. I have only seen your side of things. Maybe you could invite her to join the forum? Read up on what she's doing? It sounds to me like you are more upset about dishonesty...

drab

balance

Frida! I'm surprised that no one mentioned the film "Frida." It's pretty much all about the relationship between Frida Khalo and Diego Rivera, which was pretty much full-on poly by today's standards. I think it actually does a good job of representing the complexities and problems that come...

Floodgates open... what to do? I'm not going to say that I've never exhibited jealousy in our relationship prior to my partner's decision to change things. I have had issues with a couple of her exes that I'm pretty sure we *still* haven't resolved. But now that things have changed... I don't...

So... I was just curious if there are other folks out there who deal with PTSD, and if so, if your experience of polyamory or other non-monogamy has helped you get through issues? I am not promoting using polyamory as a form of psychotherapy, I am just wondering if there are folks who feel a...

I mean, I guess I'm not really worried what people think on here as much as I want a say in which bits of my own personal information/history get shared.

We'll talk together and decide which tidbits to share, thanks.

I think maybe the next boundary we need to negotiate is how much of our sex life gets posted on the internet...:confused: Sweety, I am glad that last night was pleasing for both of us but I have to say that it makes me a little nervous to think that after we make love it's gonna go down as a...

@ SchrodingersCat- WORD. Thanks for sayin' that. :)

I think it's important to be honest and open with her about your feelings. You said that your wife is open to the idea... if you all approach her gently and sincerely, she might really be happy about it. If you and your wife give off the vibe that you are talking about "what to do with your...

grape

o hai Helloo. :) I am in a similar-but-different situation, and I'm also new to poly and to the boards here. My partner also posts on these boards. Just wanted to say hello and all. So welcome!

I agree with most of what you're saying here, if not all of it. The observation I was making was not in order to justify controlling the actions of another, in an authoritarian sense, but to point out that humans do spend a good deal of energy attempting to control their own environments, any...

very interesting... ... Hello, Loving Radiance :-) I think that in my post the nebulous "poly stuff" I had in my mind were some things I had remembered reading about jealousy, etc. on Franklin Leveaux's site, which I've seen mirrored on this forum to a certain degree and which have also been...

one n00b to another Helloo there. I know that I'm just sort of dipping my toe in the water with all this stuff, and most of y'all have a lot more experience here, but I have to say that I would ask first how the dynamics in the current relationship are, before advising. I think that honesty is...

timidness, trepidation, etc... I have noted that on this forum, and on other poly sites, an emphasis on "not dragging one's feet," and this seems to relate to how long you drag out "the inevitable"- that is to say, the facing of one's fears- before confronting those fears head-on. Angeleyes...