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Thanks for the questions, River--all good ones! Hades and I are looking for an area that is close enough to a city (an hour or so away) that we can go in when we need a culture fix, but not too close. We'd like a place that has trees/woods/water and is reasonably priced. Part of our desire to...

I think that the point Hades was trying to make is not WHERE we meet people, but the intentionality of it. In our experience, when you are saying "Ohhh, I want to meet someone," it has rarely worked out that we meet a person with whom we really connect. It's only when we are just living our...

GS, really good points here. I very much appreciate that and can see what you're saying. Thanks for giving a different perspective!

Mr Far From Right, I was comparing the bond between the GF and my husband and the bond between her and me. They've obviously had a relationship for longer than she and I have had, and have built up their feelings for one another. She and I are in a very different place, that may or may not help...

Hi, Mr Far From Right--a couple of responses to your questions. First, my husband has been reading the thread, and I've also been talking with him about my feelings as I process them. We've shared the forum with his GF, but not sure if she's been on here or read anything yet. I agree that it...

TP, I did talk with both of them about the trust issue and they definitely understand where I'm coming from. Writing that here helped me articulate that better for myself and for them. RedPepper, you bring up some good points. In fairness to both my husband and the new partner, I've been the...

TP and GS, I think you're both bringing up what, for me, is probably the biggest issue right now-- building back the trust that was lost over months of lying to me. Because we've moved so quickly into pursuing this idea of a triad, the trust issues are muddying the waters of trying to build a...

Hi, TP. Actually, he is on here-- as Hades36. He's the one who introduced me to this forum. You may be right about the NRE. I think that, especially after Saturday night, it might be picking up, and that's another aspect I need to learn how to deal with. I've done some poking around and reading...

Thanks for your thoughts, Trucker Pete and Rob Fire. TP, you're right that she's the one coming in late. My husband and I have been together for 8 years, married for 5. I think that in this situation, it's hard for me to not think of it as me being brought into their relationship, though...

My husband and I are just beginning to form a triad with another woman and I'm looking for some advice on how to deal with some of my feelings of jealousy and mistrust. This is our first venture into polyamory. I suspect that part of my problem is because of how the relationship started. My...

I second PolyNewbie's question. Hades36 and I find ourselves with the possibility of a triad with a single woman as well, but all three of us are having some nervous feelings about what all of this means and how to make it all work. It's complicated by the fact that I found out about the woman...

True2Self--I will say that the fact that we are all being open and honest now is a huge factor for me in this. I've told both my husband and his girlfriend that honesty and openness is the most important thing to me right now, and any signs of things going on behind my back are going to make me...

Thanks, Black Unicorn. I guess I'm really feeling unsure about things, trying to make sure that I'm being open, but also watching my own feelings. I don't want to do this just because it's what the two of them want. It's not easy, that's for sure!

Although I've been turned on by the idea of a woman, and have always enjoyed lesbian porn, I have never actually been with a woman, or found myself super-attracted. That said, I was definitely drawn to this woman and could at least imagine having some kind of physical relationship, although I...

I'm the wife in question. Hi. Since Hades posted, I've met with his girlfriend and have begun considering how this could work for us. I will say that the fact that they were cheating and that I discovered this not once, but twice, has definitely impacted my trust levels--with both of them. I'm...