10 Realistic rules for good non-monogamous relationships


The more stuff like that I read, the more I appreciate the relationship my husband and I have. Whenever I read the "advice" I think "that's us!" I'm almost embarrassed to come on this forum and admit that we have a virtually effortless relationship. We fight occasionally, but it's always ABOUT something, and we usually get to the bottom of it relatively quickly. We don't do a lot of this "work" that I hear talked about on here... I suppose I might have gone through all that with events in my life leading up to us, but I try not to take it for granted.


YGirl, that rocks. Personally, I find most of my relationships to be pretty effortless. If there are issues that come up, they're either easily solved, or the relationship ends. There are plenty enough people in my life who bring me joy to bother with the ones who bring me drama.

One of my friends always says good drama-free relationships consist of 90% knowledge that it's not about you and 10% partner selection. (I think that was the number breakdown...that could probably be adjusted)
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New member
I like that list. Number 7 particularly. It's a philosophy.

Gator and I have truly struggled and worked at this. It's been a whole new concept for us though and I feel some of what we've been through is understandable due to that. However, I am amazed at where we are at now. But I don't take our progress for granted either.


New member
A good article. Our own situation seems to vary between effortless and challenging, but mostly effortless.



New member
Fabulous article. I like how straight forward and honest it is. Thanks Ceoli. :)


New member
gread read.

great read. I'm enjoying the insight the self reflection questions are bringing me.i love the 'light bulb' moments. Lol. Thanks for sharing this Ceoli, i'll definitly be passing the link on :)


New member
Such an excellent and helpful link. I recently ended a beta relationship, and felt the wind knocked out of my sails as a result. I know I need introspection and honesty with myself before I can pursue or open up to another one. I've known that I needed some time, and this list shows me the questions I can ask myself. You have to be solid on the inside before you can truly give to others. Guess that goes for all relationships, not just love relationships.


Active member
great info

Hey Ceoli-how many other great links you got hiding in that mind of yours?
I've been perusing this one and the xeromag one too.
Got anymore?

I could use a few more.
A lot of changes and growth going on over here in Frozen-Alaskaville! :)

Thanks for all your great info lady!


New member
HAHAHA!!! I was going to ask what beta was, but then tried looking for it. ;)
I was assuming that it's a secondary partner?


New member
Beta is another term for secondary, yes. I don't like either, but sometimes you need them for reference. When I was seeing my other I called him my "other significant other."