Polyamory

I'm very new to poly, in a quad, and the newest on the scene. The first month or so was awesome. Real life kicked in after that, and basically the "shine" wore off. I find that I'm envious, feeling a bit taken for granted, and like I'm waiting around for whatever time is left over for me. I'm honestly not liking those parts so much. In addition, due to schedules and distance, I haven't been able to build the relationships that I would like to try to build with numbers 1 and 2. I think that would really help. Again, the problem is with schedules and other external factors.

Any insight would be helpful, because I find my moods are just running me over. I go from being at peace, happy and understanding to questioning everything, every word, etc. I'm certainly willing to give it more time for equilibrium to settle, and there are other extenuating circumstances that no one has control over that are strongly influencing the time thing. I feel like I'm trying to navigate in the dark at the moment.

1. How to exactly figure out what my feelings are, since they change so much?
2. How to deal with them once I figure out what they are? Some of them are completely internal to me, and I have to manage them myself. (My baggage, all the crap that no outside soothing will help. I know this from experience and I am ready to tackle it.) But this internal seesaw is driving me nuts.

Any suggestions? Insight?

Thanks,
Mari