Any "straight laced" folks on here?

threesnocrowd

New member
Hey Guys,

We have been on here for a while and we are wondering if there are other professional, fashion-loving, "straight-laced" folks on here. The stereotype is that poly folks are goth or a little odd. That's what we hear anyway. I'm sure there are all types out there, from the gamers, to the nerdoids and dweebs, to the suburban soccer moms and dads.

Can you describe your "style" if you have one.

We are just curious.

We will start. We are both professionals. Love nice clothes and foods. And look very "normal" if you saw us on the street.

What about you guys?

PS No offense is meant by this question. Sorry if any is taken.
 

Marcus

Well-known member
What about you guys?

I have not noticed a trend when it comes to the style poly folk. We probably have the same percentage of goth/jock/nerd/yuppie as the monogamous population.
 

StudentofLife

New member
My partner and I are farmers. Given the rural area we live in, we look perfectly normal in jeans with dirt-encrusted knees and baggy sweatshirts with pouches full of tools. We wouldn't know fashion if it hit us over the head with a rolled up Vogue magazine.
Your question makes me wonder if you are asking if there is an ethical non-monogamy version of gaydar. I'm so new here I have no idea, but I tend to doubt there is. :)
 

1of4

New member
I'm a business owner and professional, my husband is blue-collar. Married 20+ years, we're very responsible and live the "typical" middle-class lifestyle...or at least what likely appears that way from outward appearances. The couple we are involved with are both professionals as well. We all dress well (but casually), enjoy eating out, enjoy travel, and do all the "normal" things friends do together...ski, hike, spend holidays together, go to movies, camping, etc. Though none of us would fit well into the corporate world, that is more of a matter of our attitudes and independence than our style or the way we present ourselves. We're all just the "couple next door." Nobody would ever guess.

I don't really know any other poly people. Just us. So, I'm not really sure if we're the norm or not.
 
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AnnabelMore

Active member
I definitely fall into the "little odd" category. A little goth influence in my personal style, very queer and proud, geeky, don't shave my legs, used to have a mohawk, couldn't care less about what's fashionable or popular, spend some of my time slumming it with punks in squat houses. At the same time, I'm a young urban professional, I work for the local municipal government, have my own office with a door.
 

nondy2

New member
I don't really thing of myself a poly, but open.

I am a successful poet and disability activist. I consider myself "the norm" for a poet. I'm not a corporate person, nor in academia, but I spend my life reading and writing. I am totally interested in fashion. I live in NY and love Bill Cummingham and Anna Winthrop. I am a regular Times style section reader...my own style is quirky and sloppy - dresses over pants- that sort of thing.

My family is considered "eccentric" but primarily because I have a disability and am an intellectual and my son constantly sings show tunes, and we have way to many pets. We don't fit in the corporate world, and certainly don't listen to joy division, but I think in the realm of Brooklyn/artist we fit in.
 

BoringGuy

Banned
I'm boring, and sometimes I wear pajamas when i go out of the house.

Are there any other poly people like me?
 

his1911

New member
I rode bulls and the wife raced barrels and now we generally farm, raise dairy cows. You'll seldom find us not in wranglers and boots! Lol
Not sure what fashion consists of nowdays but we were what suits us! ;)
 

Octopus

New member
I definitely fall into the "little odd" category. A little goth influence in my personal style, very queer and proud, geeky, don't shave my legs, used to have a mohawk, couldn't care less about what's fashionable or popular, spend some of my time slumming it with punks in squat houses. At the same time, I'm a young urban professional, I work for the local municipal government, have my own office with a door.

:D So much love to all the things you listed. Love being geeky and queer and proud and hairy.
 

AnnabelMore

Active member

nycindie

Active member
I prefer style over fashion, and I have an absolute disdain for the fashion industry, but I love Project Runway - basically for me it's all about the creativity. I don't think of myself as straight-placed, but others probably see me that way. At heart, I am a Bohemian.

I would say that the stereotypes you've heard about people who practice polyamory are quite inaccurate because they're likely based on a very narrow slice of the general population. Poly isn't that weird - it's just a simple thing, really.

Nobody needs to be weird to manage having more than one love relationship. People have been doing it for centuries and considered quite normal - only it was cheating, not poly. All polyamorists do is lift the veil of deception and accept/embrace what's going on.
 

AnnabelMore

Active member
It occurs to me that the stereotype probably exists because it's the people who are already seen as weird who are the most upfront about being poly, because they have nothing to lose, and it's the people who have the most invested in seeming "normal" who are the most guarded about being poly.
 
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Octopus

New member
Also, the 'weirdos' - please note the quotation marks! - (kinks and queers and members of certain subcultures) may simply be exposed to the concept of polyamory earlier than those who are otherwise part of more heteronormative, 'normal' - again quotation marks! - social circles; thus finding ground to identify on or maybe having access to resources earlier.
 

Helo

New member
Hey Guys,

We have been on here for a while and we are wondering if there are other professional, fashion-loving, "straight-laced" folks on here. The stereotype is that poly folks are goth or a little odd. That's what we hear anyway. I'm sure there are all types out there, from the gamers, to the nerdoids and dweebs, to the suburban soccer moms and dads.

Can you describe your "style" if you have one.

We are just curious.

We will start. We are both professionals. Love nice clothes and foods. And look very "normal" if you saw us on the street.

What about you guys?

PS No offense is meant by this question. Sorry if any is taken.
I dont think I've ever looked "normal" a day in my life, if you saw me walking down the street you'd notice me; I'm six feet with long red hair (usually in a ponytail) and I usually wear a thick leather (welding) jacket with marker on it over a t-shirt (usually a black punk band shirt) with dark jeans and my workboots or sandals with a keffiyeh around my neck. I'm...difficult to miss.

I look slightly less barbaric in my work clothes; a tight button up with sleeves rolled up to my elbow. I just tend to look like a bouncer.

I wouldn't call myself "goth," I just look better in darker colors. I freely admit I have less than zero fashion sense and the world of fashion actively nauseates me. I tend to wear what I want where I want and have very little interest in following arbitrary rules as to how I should look. Most of my clothing is purchased at Goodwill so my style options are a bit limited.
 
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Razorbacktat

New member
I am a suit wearing profesional who wears torn jeans and fasionable clothing away from the office, H is a stay at home mom and my bookeeper so you would catch her in anything from jeans and high heels to work out clothes to a dress, K is in the medical profession and you will see her in scrubs or in jeans and a tshirt unless we decide to dress up and then she will put on a dress but usually not the high heel type.

We fit in our uppermiddle class lifestyle very well. We are not wierd to us, just different. We have a few friends that know about our poly lifestyle but to most we are all just good friends who spend alot of time together.

I definately dont think Poly people look some certian way, I do find them to be well read open minded people who fit in most anywhere.
 

Vixtoria

New member
I think a lot of it is how you present yourself. On the internet especially, there is a bit more anonymity so you can get away with playing up parts of yourself that you don't as much in life. If that makes sense.

On paper, we are probably so normal a family it's not even funny! I'm a stay at home mom, we have three kids, been married 18 years as of next week. He's been military and works for the government. We were married two years before we had children, I only worked outside of the house where either kids came with me, vet tech, or while hubby was then the stay at home parent. We have always been a 'nuclear family'. No step parents, half siblings, pretty boring really. Hubby is into computers, I write or do graphics. We play family games and watch family movies. We introduce our kids to classical literature as well as classic movies, yes they know who Ethel Merman and Fred Astaire are!


Now, beyond that? They've been to camps where it was clothing optional and pagan. They've been to churches of just about every kind and to pow wows and learned to make dream catchers and make their own essential oils. We've camped in areas that are considered 'queer community' and have always been around transexuals, gay, lesbian, role players of the geek and freak type. I've dyed my hair all colors of the rainbow and dressed goth for going to goth clubs, and have piercings and tattoos. Kids now have blue and purple and pink hair. Are interested in anime (not cartoons), baking, fashion design, theater, queer community. Yet, all of this is 'normal' for us!
 
Moonlight has a prestigious position in city government. Fly is a high-level manager in an artisan bakery. I'm the director of a child care center, and I also teach in the preschool. Other than the fact that Fly and I are true Seattlites and not particularly fashionable, we're sort of disappointingly normal. :rolleyes: I actually looked "edgier" when I was a virgin who had never heard of polyamory - eyebrow and tongue piercings, hair all colors of the rainbow, that sort of thing.

Although, Fly and I often burst out into show tunes together, and Kiddo has been heard singing "Dancing Queen" in the shower. We've taken the kid to antiwar protests, and we have solar panels on our roof and a halfway built chicken coop in the back yard. Food politics are something we frequently discuss around the dinner table. We also travel a lot internationally and are conscientious about being world citizens, not just Americans. We're a little artsy, a little hippie-ish, a little bit out of the mainstream, but you wouldn't realize that until you got to know us.

Moonlight is utterly conventional until you get her to talk about her hippie free love past. :D
 

BreatheDeeply

New member
Business owner and professional, clean cut, gym-nut, beach-goer. You wouldn't think I'm anything out of the ordinary if you saw me on the street.
 

Helo

New member
I think a lot of it is how you present yourself. On the internet especially, there is a bit more anonymity so you can get away with playing up parts of yourself that you don't as much in life. If that makes sense.
Totes. One of the remarks I usually get when I meet people I've talked to online is "Wow, you are SO much less of an asshole in person!" :D
 

Arrowbound

New member
I don't know if anyone would call us "straight laced", lol. We're both still in our 20s though, so maybe it's expected for us to not "fit" a certain mold.
 
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