I love having these kinds of discussions in a philosophical, theoretical, semantic sense...my brain starts reeling...but, But, BUT...
I read posts on these boards and start thinking, hmmm, how would I describe my relationship with so-and-so in the terms and definitions that we use here?
Words are just shorthand to try to communicate ideas to people in a succinct way.
Reading this thread I think to myself:
Define sex
Define love
Define romance
Define friendship
Define relationship
etc...
For me these are ALL "squishy" words with subjective definitions - so everything dissolves into this grey-goo of too narrow, too broad definitions and we all end up arguing "semantics" - which is, after all, the study of "meaning" (what do we "mean" when we use these words, phrases, symbols).
Luckily, I don't give a shit how anyone else classifies my relationships so I just have them, enjoy them, and try to communicate the best I can with the words and definitions I have on hand. ("That's not a FWB, that's a FB - and neither "counts" as poly." - okay, I understand you feel that way. "If you don't have sex at least once a month [or didn't change your name to match his -
my personal favorite] you aren't
really married." okay, I disagree, but we are still filing a joint tax return.
etc.)
But, to answer the questions -
Is poly about sex? - for some people, if it is ALSO about relationships and intimacy (
If it is ONLY about sex, then why bother calling it poly? we have better words for that.)
If you remove the sex, do you just have friendship? not in my opinion
Can polys have romantic friendships? yes
Can you have romance without sex? yes
How about sex without romance? yes, of course, but I wouldn't necessarily think of that as poly unless there was the possibility of romance developing - otherwise just considered casual/NSA sex
Can asexuals be poly? yes, unless they are also aromantic
Are poly asexuals messed up? no more so than any other person on the planet