Astrological Compatibility in Poly Relationships...feedback?

My husband and I have recently begun discussing the option of turning our marriage into a polyamorous one. I have finally found someone who I think would fit really well into our current arrangement, but I am looking to the stars before I pursue anything further, because they always give me surprising new insight.

Here is our bio...my husband is a 25 year old lovable Leo, outgoing, exuberant, with a giant heart of gold. His rising is also a Leo which makes him very balanced and stable, and his moon is in Gemini, the part of him, I think that is okay with/excited about trying this new relationship arrangement.

I am a 26 year old Gemini, attracted to intellect and driven by adventure, with a moon in Aries...a driven, passionate, and a little fiery emotional side, and I have Scorpio rising, which allows me to be more deep, intense, sexual, and reserved than most other Geminis.

The man we are considering pursuing is a VERY private introverted, intellectual Sagittarius (33). At this point I don't know the rest of his chart, but I have an idea that there must be some strong water influences because of his deep, quiet, reserved nature.

He is already close friends with my husband; this is how I know him actually, is through their friendship. (Sag + Leo = Bromance!) If we pursued a relationship with this man, their relationship would be mostly platonic, maybe sharing in some sexual moments together with me, as I think they both lean toward the straight side. I would like to see them ideally in an even closer friendship if this were to work, because how many guy friends are able to share something so sacred as a love for the same woman? I picture us going to dinner together, having family game nights together, taking vacations together...he would essentially be a part of the family.

I do think that we would be a good match together because we are both so intellectual, crave adventure, but both have the need for reflection and privacy, and of course as opposite signs there is a ridiculous amount of magnetism there.

The hubby and I also have a daughter, our little toddler Sagittarius. She is charming, bubbly, vivacious, intelligent, and she already likes and trusts this potential new partner.

So if we are going to bring this new Sagittarius in that would create a Sag-Gemini-Leo situation with a Sag child in the mix; I would be the air surrounded by a roaring fire! Anyone been in anything similar? Do you think this could work? I think as far as compatibility goes that this new man could be a perfect fit for our family, or am I wrong?

What are Gemini/Sag relationships like? Especially in a poly setting? Any feedback is appreciated!!
 

PolyinPractice

New member
I'd worry less about whether your signs are compatible and more about whether the people are. When you try to force any kind of compatibility, whether it's star signs or a particular formation, such as a closed triad, you inevitably run into problems.

For example, you picture an ideal world, but is it your husband or new boyfriend's ideal? Suppose your husband wants to date another woman? What if she wants to join in the family, too? What if she DOESN'T and he ends up splitting his time between you and her? What if your boyfriend starts dating a woman who already has a husband and kids? What if your husband and boyfriend just don't want to spend time together? You never know what will happen, and it's best to keep things open and flexible.
 
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This thread was meant to be no more than something to ponder. I know that a person is much more than an astrological sign, and I would never make my decisions exclusively based on the stars.

My husband and I have discussed the closed triad relationship structure and are both comfortable with it at this point. We are brand new to this so obviously there is going to be some trial and error but we will approach new ideas/obstacles as they come up. If the new guy or my husband wanted to see other people, I have no qualms about that. This is just the situation that we're in at the present moment.

I included no backstory as far as relationship dynamics because that was not the intention of this thread. The relationship at this point is COMPLETELY open and flexible because it is just someone I am considering pursuing, not someone I have established something with. My husband and his friend are already very close, but of course their interactions/friendship would be completely up to them.

Relationship structures are really not the question at hand, at this present moment because as of yet I'm not 100% certain that I want to turn this into a relationship. :)

I do of course appreciate your feedback; I value any kind expertise/advice from people with experience in poly relationships, because as I said before, we are brand new to this and it helps me open a dialogue with my husband for concepts we haven't discussed before...

At this point I'm more looking to instigate a lighthearted discussion involving people who have a similar interest in astrological compatibility and how it applies to a poly relationship structure as opposed to a monogamous one.
 

Memorandum

New member
Off the top of my head from comparing those two before, they are in the least compatible department. From my end it was because the person's behavior was kind of "out there" imo. But at the same time they like to troll people (not the shit-stirring kind).
We're somewhat friends (chat a few times a month) as long as we're trolling each other a majority of the time.
_____
I'm Gemini, they're a Saggie
 
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KerryRen

New member
Advice I was offered when I came to these boards that is I think is still holding me in good stead, "Just see what happens."

The closed triad is a wonderful ideal. Ideals tend to get smashed hard by human reality. Trying to figure out what form the relationship will take before there is even a relationship doesn't seem to work out for very many.

On the astrology front.... I'd play it through the individual dyads, but while some combinations may be better than others, most seem to be able to work at some level.

I'm a Sagittarius. My husband is a Cancer. My boyfriend is a Taurus. Mutable Fire and cardinal Water, mutable Fire and fixed Earth... generally not seen as the best pairing of signs as far as I can tell. Astrologically, the guys should probably get along better with each other than either with me. (And so they might, one day, but who knows?)

Raven Kaldera's book Pagan Polyamory covers how to lay out a poly triad chart, but you'd probably want to be comfortable doing so in the first place.
 

tenK

New member
What are Gemini/Sag relationships like? Especially in a poly setting? Any feedback is appreciated!!

Just commenting on this. I'm a Gemini and have two Saggies in my poly set-up: my metamour Lily, who I have a lot of sexual chemistry with (although we've decided to not pursue something physical together right now for various reasons); and a new potential interest of mine, Scandi, who again, I seem to have great chemistry with. Gemini-Sag is a pretty compatible combo in general, but my feeling (and I am no expert) is that both those signs (along with Aquarius, and Pisces) actually seem to do rather well in poly arrangements as well. Insufferable spirit of exploration (Sag) combined with insufferable desire to know and share (Gem) = interesting adventures together!

But really, as the other posters have noted, what makes it or breaks it is going to be decided 'on the ground' so to speak. If your desires and expectations align, rather than your planets. I do find it fun to think about though. :)
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
I'm no astrology expert, but intuitively a V (emotional triad?) sounds like a good fit for you guys. If the toddler likes the new man, that's a good sign.

FWIW, I'm in a hetero poly-fi MFM V. I'm a Scorpio and both of my companions are Taurus (although the lady hinge -- Snowbunny -- is just teetering on being a Gemini). Took us a few years (as a V) to find our sea legs, but we've had a pleasant chemistry together since then for quite a few years.
 
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