Spork, I've been seeing posts about the same issue.
One thing that hasn't happened to me, but I've seen other sub-types mention: If you're talking kink or BDSM with someone with the intention of interacting with them in that vein, and they refuse to discuss limits or negotiations. Some folks have gotten the unfortunate idea from a certain book series, or from other sources, that the Dom is in charge entirely and the sub should just keep their mouth shut and take whatever's dished out. (And that assumption doesn't only come from Dom-types; some sub-types refuse to discuss limits because they think they shouldn't have any. Which is equally dangerous.)
Hell, even if you're talking about meeting in a purely vanilla context, you should be able to set boundaries. If the person you're talking to doesn't accept that, it might be a red flag.
Yes. There has been a lot of hooplah on fet (and in communities) about "topping from the bottom." One of the most respected community leaders I know gets huffy and offended by people using this phrase or implying that the bottom doesn't have a right to say what happens. The bottom absolutely has every right to say what does and does not happen. In a good, healthy dynamic, both the top and the bottom are there to serve one another's needs and respect one another's boundaries. Any failure in that, is a failure in the interaction.
The only time that a top can reasonably take the position that negotiations and discussion of limits aren't really necessary, is when he has a well-established relationship, with lots of trust going both ways, with a bottom, and he already knows her limits (just using these pronouns for ease/example, obviously the roles can go to any gender)...and he is operating in a set of expectations that is already established.
The only example I've ever heard of where someone was in fact "topping from the bottom" involved a pro-Domme and a client. They had already fully negotiated the session, and it was underway, and he started to demand things of her that they had not agreed upon. He seemed to feel that since he'd paid for her services, he was entitled to get anything he asked for (or, as I say, DEMANDED.) He will not be enjoying her services again.
But there is a big difference between negotiating your needs, limits, triggers and boundaries, and being pushy and demanding during a scene.
..........
Regarding the posts about OKC/OLD scammers...
I think that men are more likely to be the targets of scams than women in the world of online dating. Anyone have any thoughts about that theory? I was definitely peppered with the typical dozens or hundreds of "Hey" "Hi" "How r u sexy" messages which I ignored. But my ex had one woman supposedly from Turkey, they talked for weeks, the story was this stunning woman lived in Denver, but went back to Turkey to visit family, but some strife or political drama was making it difficult for her to come back. And in order to keep the promised date (promised for when she returned) she might need him to buy her plane ticket.
And then there were more than one woman that I think was a legit person, but an opiate pill addict who latched onto him hoping that because he was a disabled vet (which he stated in his profile) he had easy access to lots of good pain drugs that they could cadge off of him.
I have personally met a few girls (mostly younger, sometimes college students) who openly admitted that they did a whole ton of first dates with the expectation that the guy would buy them dinner, and got free meals that way.
And I know one girl, who I'd call a "predatory sub"...she uses the dating scene and moves into a man's house, and ends up stealing from him, and prostituting out of the house to raise money for drugs.
I would say that men in the dating world of today have to be at LEAST as careful as women, if for possibly different reasons.