BF's new GF is a cowgirl?


New member
Train wreck? What an understatement!!! He's got some communication and honesty issues.


Active member
You are making judgments on what entire groups of people really think. Based, as you admit, only on what you have witnessed. If choosing when to have sex is a valid option, then choosing to have a ceremony to honor and acknowledge that choice is just as valid as having a ceremony to honor a second poly husband.

I have to be honest, I seriously doubt any purity ceremony really involves people talking about how 'dirty' sex is. I suspect this is your interpretation of what they think, rather than what they actually said. Certainly you know different individuals than I do, but I also know plenty of people who believe in waiting until marriage, and it is not about sex being 'dirty,' but about sex being so sacred and beautiful that it deserves a special consideration, and is reserved for a spouse. Whether anyone agrees with reserving it fo a spouse, it is simply wrong to claim that all these people, or even most of them, believe it's 'dirty.'

While I respect your right to an opinion, yours is not an informed opinion.


Active member
Back to the OP. It sounds like BF is lacking in the spinal department. It also sounds like he is willing to throw away eight years. I think it is already a train wreck.


New member
A purity ceremony is degrading and disgusting. Interesting. Would changing the name be acceptable? What name would make the concept acceptable?

Again...I simply find it interesting that people who would be highly offended at someone else labeling their choices 'degradging and disgusting' are so willing to label others. Doesn't this defeat the idea of tolerance?

If you don't want to have a purity ceremony, don't have one. I'm a little surprised it makes that much difference to anyone here what such a ceremony is called. If we're sure of our own choices, it hardly matters what anyone else thinks.

There is nothing that would make it acceptable to me and I require no concessions to make it so as I have neither need, nor desire, to participate in such a thing.

I think you are stretching to concept of tolerance a bit thin. Tolerance doesn’t require agreement on the subject, it doesn’t require solidarity and it doesn’t require giving a belief, or concept, my stamp of approval. I am able to dissent and still be tolerant. I’m not going to try to dissuade anyone from having a purity ceremony. I’m not going to lobby to have purity ceremonies banned, and I’m not going to picket anyone’s purity ceremony. I don’t need to be any more tolerant than that. I respect people’s right to purify themselves as they see fit, but I still find the idea degrading and disgusting.

It’s not the name of the thing that I disagree with, personally. This and many other religious rites, permeate my youth. I don’t care what consenting adults want to do but I believe that these things can be harmful and coercive where children are involved.


Official Greeter
Staff member
"I'm not going to try to dissuade anyone from having a purity ceremony. I'm not going to lobby to have purity ceremonies banned, and I'm not going to picket anyone's purity ceremony. I don't need to be any more tolerant than that."