Just wondered if someone who is poly can give reasons why they feel the way they do. So I can understand what's over the fence a bit better. Any replies appreciated
Well, for me at least, 'poly' is half philosophy, half emotion.
There's an....... intellectual....side to it. Something I put a lot of thought into at a pretty young age - the age when you start to question everything. I looked at any existing relationships I encountered, spent a lot of time researching the concept of 'love' and when all said & done couldn't come up with any reason that love SHOULD be exclusive. That thought process didn't seem to reflect the world around me. So it's a philosophy at a root level.
Then, I think different people are more in touch with their...........heart (for lack of a better term at the moment). There's a thin line between empathy and love. As we, either by nature or by discovery, learn to open our hearts to people in general, we increase our chances of detecting/feeling love. This is a personality and cultural thing to a degree I suppose. We've all met people who are just open & loving by nature. Whether it's the environment they were raised in, life experiences they've navigated, whatever. They embrace the potential - whatever the 'flavor' is. They want to feel it.
So can you 'switch it on and off' ? I don't think so. Not if you truly understand the nature of it. I liken it to learning to swim. If at first you can't, you're afraid of the water. But once you learn to swim, you discover a whole new world awaiting you. The fear is gone - if respect remains. The pleasure of immersing yourself in the water and just flowing with it is something you are unlikely to ever want to 'unlearn'.
And why should you ?
So you say you are 'hard wired', but I would challenge you in that what is likely 'wired' is your understanding of love. And if you are unable to look deeper into that - it's like fear of the water. You may never swim. And that's ok. Millions of people can't swim. They seem to 'get by'. But for those who do, it's a whole different world.
The trick seems to be finding space on the beach where we can enjoy the sun together. Not forcing the one into the water over their head nor land-stranding the swimmer.