Polyamory

I have always been intrigued in poly as a single woman, but now that I’m married it has been brought up. Is it best to bring on someone you might have mutual friends? My spouse has been friends with this individual for quite some time, as well as had intercourse 1–2x in the friendship. I have never met her. Recently they had intercourse because I did give that permission, but didn’t realize that this was the same girl that my husband wanted to introduce me to about this poly relationship. My concern is the way I read text messages that it seemed as if I wouldn’t be included. Both had said their intentions were to include me, but texts would be like “I can’t wait til I can take you out” or “when are you available so I can **** you?” etc. It all seems sneaky and it just doesn’t sit right with me. My husband has discussed how that wasn’t his intention, and he just wasn’t sure how to fully bring it to my attention, etc. The lady does want to sit down with me to chat so she can explain why they went about it the way they did. But again, this could be me overthinking it. I’m not sure. This is all new and I am not sure if I should trust my husband with this process. I feel like that’s an issue.