Crazy Love

Crazy

New member
I’ve always been an emotional woman and over the course of my life my emotions have gotten stronger. I feel deeply and I’m finally at a point in my life where I don’t feel guilty for that. Everyone has their own little struggles growing up and for me one of the only ways to cope was the tap in to the fact that I was crazy. True, crazy is a term used to make you feel negative yourself but I took it and gave it power in the most positive way. Now that I’m older crazy doesn’t just symbolize an alter ego that made my life easier but it symbolizes how much different I am from the world and the best of ways. Polyamory is not a crazy love my eyes (I’m just clarifying in case someone takes it wrong) it’s just different and unique. Love is not a one size fits all and polyamorous relationships is just another size that might fit some of us better than others.
I’m 33 and even though I’ve had quite a bit of struggles in my life to the point where I’m writing a memoir in hopes that it will help somebody else someday😁 I also lack a lot of experience when it comes to other things such as love. When I was in middle school I told my friend/next-door neighbor that I wanted to be in a MMF threesome. I wanted to be ravished by two incredible guys who couldn’t get enough of me. That was the first time that I ever expressed interest in something different when it came to sex or relationships. Even back then my mind was telling me that a one on one monogamous relationship was just not some thing for me. Over the years I’ve come to a realization that it was more than just a threesome fantasy that I wanted it was the relationship that I wanted. Because for me sex was going to be more than just an act it was going to be about love.
I wanted to fall asleep curled up between two amazing men who not only cared for me but cared for each other. I wanted to be chilling on the couch with one of my partners when the other one comes home from work giving us both a kiss before going into the other room the change. I want to be laying on the couch watching TV when both my partners come back from a movie date, because I was not going to go watch that movie and they curl up with me on the couch insisting on telling me about the movie despite the fact that I told them I did not want to know. Due to my personal struggles in life a polyamorous relationship wasn’t just this idea of a threesome or not be able to choose who to date it was this idea of being surrounded by partners who loved me and I loved back.
I understand that I can be sounding completely ignorant right now because I have no experience with poly relationships in just like a little girl who dreams of marrying a prince in a far away kingdom in a fairytale I might be blowing this out and romanticizing it so much but when it comes to love aren’t you supposed to have hope? My life story is a long, complicated and very emotional but when it comes to a polyamorous relationship I have every confidence that this is something I want & need. I’m not really a kinky individual but that doesn’t mean I have some sex fantasies that I would love to play out when I’m in a good stable relationship. I’m not the marrying type and the idea of children literally gave me nightmares until I got sterile. What isn’t normal is most often viewed as crazy. To be normal is to conform to society standards and nothing ever changes the world when you’re conforming to standards. I’m crazy and I love the same way but being crazy when it’s me is a fantastic thing.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
Hi Crazy,

Thanks for sharing your story, I like how you said that being normal never changed the world. You have to dream big, in order to live a fulfilling life. So do not give up on your dream of having two loving guys to live with. It may not materialize overnight, but if you are patient, you will get there.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 

Crazy

New member
As always thank you for the support. I’m not opposed to more but that’s a discussion once I’m established & knows what works.
 
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