New member
I met my wife three years ago. We have a toddler, and we are expecting our second. She was 21 when we met, and I deflowered her. Since then, we've explored light-to-medium S&M, specifically spankings, which she is keen on.

Since the beginning of our relationship, she has suspected (but never been sure) that I have outside relationships. My sexual needs are more than she can handle. I need it every day at least once, she's happy once a week. The times she gave me all the sex I needed, I wound up hurting her by accident. We actually had to see the doctor.

Since then, she's accepted the women in my rotation. Sometimes she is jealous, sometimes accepting. But she never refers to them directly, always indirectly.

Lately, she has told me a fantasy that she has been having: She imagines watching me have sex with a woman, while she watches. We have been discussing this fantasy, to the point where she has identified the physical type she wants me to be with.

I have not encouraged this, or even brought it up—she brings it up without prompting.

So question: Are cuckqueans made or born?


Official Greeter
Staff member
cuckquean = a woman who has an unfaithful husband (per Wiktionary)

Re: are they made or born ... gosh, that's a riddle as challenging as any "nature or nurture" riddle. It sounds like a genetic thing; I can't think of what part of one's childhood environment would inspire one to become a cuckquean. But marital circumstances could be part of the equation, if the woman in question was internally able to adapt to those circumstances.


Official Greeter
Staff member

Wikipedia goes on to explain how being a cuckquean can be a fetish for the woman. If it's the man who's being cheated on, then he is a cuckold.


Are cuckqueans made or born?

Good question. My answer would probably be "Any possibility from 'either' to 'both'... just like any other kink/fetish."

It could be genetic, but it doesn't HAVE to be. It could be something that happened in their formative years, but it doesn't HAVE to be that either. It could also be a little of both.

Also worthy of mention... it's also something that just as likely to be discovered at any time (like she apparently is discovering it now), as it is to be known all of a person's life (kind of like some bisexuality situations... only attracted to same sex {or opposite sex} of a certain type... won't know that until meeting that type... so... until then, the bi-person only thinks that they are either straight or lesbian/gay).


Staff member
I think it's way to soon to be assuming she's into being cuckolded, much less whether she's made or born that way. As of right now, it's merely a fantasy. Reality usually bears little resemblance to fantasy.

It's also a coping mechanism for her, I'd think, to deal with your mysterious dalliances. You've not really discussed being polysexual with your wife, I don't think?

I am not sure you're polyAMOROUS, ie: in love with more than one, in an ethical manner where all parties are on board with the arrangement. Sounds like more of a purely sexual thing. Does she feel like you are cheating on her?


Active member
I'm not sure "wanting to watch" is sufficient condition to suspect she's a cuckquean. She might be curious about what goes on between you and another woman. She might be curious about her own feelings (sexual, emotional) in such a situation. She might be pragmatically exploiting this possibility which not everyone has so readily available. She might just, you know, want to watch!