Discord

Would you participate in an affiliated Discord chat room?

  • Yes

    Votes: 6 60.0%
  • No

    Votes: 4 40.0%

  • Total voters
    10
  • Poll closed .

Evie

Kaitiaki
Staff member
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kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
My vote shouldn't be considered a 100% no, it is more mostly a no, with a little bit of yes. I might participate a little, it might even grow on me; that's just unlikely.

I find that it's emotionally safer for me to have time to mull over my exact response to things, if things turn south. In a discord chat room, I would not have that safety net.
 

icesong

Moderator
Staff member
I’m on a number of other discords and enjoy the platform, but I am not sure there’s enough membership or activity here to support a discord as well.
 

AlwaysGrowing

Well-known member
I don't use discord at all
 

ref2018

Maid of All Work
Staff member
I guess if you build it, I'll come, or at least I'll add the channel since I'm signed in all the time anyway. I don't want to be a moderator, and I won't be able to carry on any sustained conversations, but at least the room won't be completely empty all the time.
 

Bariah

Member
I’m on a number of other discords and enjoy the platform, but I am not sure there’s enough membership or activity here to support a discord as well.
Yeah, I had this same thought at first. Here's the thing, I think that this could be overcome by opening up this discord to other poly forums. I think when people find how warm and welcoming the polyamory.com forum is that they'll be more inclined to join the site and dialogues here. There's so many different communities which would be interested in a poly discord that could drive interest and attract people to this site through this discord if managed properly.
 

icesong

Moderator
Staff member
Ahhhh, so that's the thing. There are lots of large poly communities but the small size of this one is actually one of the best parts about it. We can totally be warm and welcoming to a few people at a time and not disrupt the tiny community feel. An influx of people? nope, do not want.
 

Bariah

Member
Ahhhh, so that's the thing. There are lots of large poly communities but the small size of this one is actually one of the best parts about it. We can totally be warm and welcoming to a few people at a time and not disrupt the tiny community feel. An influx of people? nope, do not want.
Glad we’re having this convo. To make the idea work, as I was explaining to Kevin in our dms, is to use the discord as a way to start coming up with discord community regulations. Ultimately, it’s up to everyone what might be of interest, and we’re going to need to vote on topics like a code of conduct, what rooms are going to be created, how private rooms should be handled, and wether or not we should be making the sever public or private as some examples.

One of the biggest factors in determining who and what will be governing how many people we direct from the discord to here is all absolutely open for regulating. We just haven’t reached that point yet.

That’s why I want the discord to get set up originally as a way to model what we think might be a successful community before we even introduce it to anyone in any way. It would be unfortunate to put work and effort into building a community outlet only for it to cause problems, and modeling these things and voting on them is the only way, as I see it, to make healthy progress toward having it.

To your point, I agree. I wouldn’t want to see this site become any different than it already is. What I’d like to see happen is to expose the warmth and community into a larger and more dynamically accessible pool of people who could be recommended to join based on their interest in the warmth of the group if they felt they wanted that.

We can make rules that would ensure the safety and integrity of our users who choose to use the discord in such a way that doesn’t expose us to problems if we make the community and vote on the rules ourselves. For example, we could keep the server private and only hand out invite codes to polyamory.com forum users who express interest. We could do the opposite and invite people from other forums and force them to agree to a code of conduct before using the server. We could keep certain rooms private for just polyamory.com forum members.

It’s important to model these things and have a vote, is my main point.
 
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icesong

Moderator
Staff member
To your point, I agree. I wouldn’t want to see this site become any different than it already is. What I’d like to see happen is to expose the warmth and community into a larger and more dynamically accessible pool of people who could be recommended to join based on their interest in the warmth of the group if they felt they wanted that.
It's my belief that exposing it to more people WOULD change it from what it is, so no, I don't think we agree on this one.
 

Bariah

Member
It's my belief that exposing it to more people WOULD change it from what it is, so no, I don't think we agree on this one.
I see your point, thanks for clarifying. I actually still might agree after reading your explanation. You're much more of an authority on this than I am and I'd want to pay attention to that in how we might be interested in forming a discord.

What do you think about keeping it private and issuing invite codes only to people already part of the forum? I would still be interested in that.
 

Bariah

Member
If the vote stays like it is I’ll make a server that we can test and discuss about before making anything official, like a trial run. That way we can see what will work or what won’t before we get it off the ground if we get it going officially in the first place.
 

Bariah

Member
Hey y'all,

After reading opinions, and in attempts to not build something that sucks I think we should take a moment to think about how to build something that's unique and actually constructive to the community over time. It can not be one person running the discord 24/7 and theres a lot a places where things could go wrong or get pervy, which I don't want to deal with and neither would any of you I'd assume.

Instead, I'm thinking we could go about trying to see if we can't find a place where discord can't grow into something communally useful. Rather than just build something that isn't populated often, I'd like to take the opportunity to discuss what we could use a discord for.

It's my opinion that, if members had a reason to want to get together, they could chat in real time and we could see discord become popular over time. Like, for example, we might be able to have people log into discord once a week at a certain time to chat about a certain topic in real time.

Otherwise I am defaulting to the dissenting opinion by moderating members and their points here.
 

PolyCurious911

New member
I’m on a number of other discords and enjoy the platform, but I am not sure there’s enough membership or activity here to support a discord as well.
Would you mind sharing some of the Discords you find most beneficial. I joined one recently, but as a new person to the polyamory world, It's been hard to find some community support / resources. Would love to hear some recommendations.
 

PolyCurious911

New member
My vote shouldn't be considered a 100% no, it is more mostly a no, with a little bit of yes. I might participate a little, it might even grow on me; that's just unlikely.

I find that it's emotionally safer for me to have time to mull over my exact response to things, if things turn south. In a discord chat room, I would not have that safety net.
I do like some of the real time discussion in Discord but can also find it overwhelming and noisy when several people are responding to a particular question or topic. That's what brought me here to this forum because I agree to your point about being able to think about something and have a thought out response. The conversation is slower paced but contains more depth in my opinion. That being said, I would totally join the Discord. It's also fun to talk about non-poly related things and just get to know people.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
Well regarding talking about non-poly things, and just getting to know people, we do have this here Fireplace for that. Although I admit, this board isn't terribly active.

I would commit to a very small amount of participation in a poly discord, but make no promises on whether that would be a long-term commitment. I have had super bad experiences with chat rooms in the past.
 

icesong

Moderator
Staff member
Would you mind sharing some of the Discords you find most beneficial. I joined one recently, but as a new person to the polyamory world, It's been hard to find some community support / resources. Would love to hear some recommendations.
Honestly the ones I’m on aren’t polyamory related, more (local) kink community or medieval reenactment or other media I enjoy. So not helpful, I’m afraid.
 
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