Just a quick hello. Not really ever considered being a part of this community but life has decided to throw me a curveball. From a different stadium entirely.
Hi and welcome, Bakon. That sounds like a bit of a rough start, but then we've all got to start somewhere! It can take a while to get good at polyamory, but then, most people aren't good at monogamy when they begin, either. I applaud you for dipping your toe in this forum and hopefully learning from others' experiences.
Hi and welcome, Bakon. That sounds like a bit of a rough start, but then we've all got to start somewhere! It can take a while to get good at polyamory, but then, most people aren't good at monogamy when they begin, either. I applaud you for dipping your toe in this forum and hopefully learning from others' experiences.
That sounds slightly smoother than being poly-bombed (when one partner in a monogamous relationship tell the other partner that they're intending in pursuing a poly relationship style).
One of the nice things about coming in to an existing relationship is that you can usually get quite a lot of "me time" when the others are wanting couple time. One of the hard parts is when one or both of the existing couple can't cope with having unsupervised "me time," so you don't get to have a lot of couple time with both of your new partners individually. Personally, I wouldn't date a couple if they were exclusively a package deal... I want to get to know each person individually, and be intimate with each one individually, too. Some couples don't want this and make different rules for the new person than between themselves. Watch out for this.
Greetings Bakon,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.
Like you, I got invited into an already-established relationship ... way back in 2006, so now we are an MFM V. You may be looking at a triad, I can't tell for sure. Let us know if you have any questions.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"
Notes:
There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!
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You are not joining their relationship. You are being asked to date two people who just happen to already be a couple. You will date A, and you will date B.
A dates B
A dates you
B dates A
B dates you
There are several dyads stacked up.
A couple may think dating as a unit will keep jealousy at bay. But actually it's the opposite, since you will feel differently for A than you do for B. And A may like you more than B does, or vice versa. Some couples have a veto where, if their "third" prefers one of them over the other, or if one of them likes the "third," but the other one decides they don't, the "third" will get summarily dumped.
Then they moan about how hard it is to find their "perfect unicorn" who will know her place.
So, at least have a talk about those possibilities before hopping into the sack.