Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

Hi Bluebird, just writing to say I am fascinated by the fact that SirGawain imagined his ex was trying to contact him via witchcraft (and "giving him a headache"), when in fact he was sick and needed to go to the hospital.
Fascinated isn’t the word I would use when describing how ridiculous this was to experience in real life. Sigh.

I just got a message from DarkKnight that MisterMoonbeam is in the ER right now. He had an arrhythmia again tonight. Thankfully my youngest was at our house when it happened and she took him to the hospital. In Hagerstown. I’m told he is fine now and he will be leaving to go back home shortly.

So I currently have two boyfriends in the hospital at the same time. WTF
I arrived at the Hagerstown hospital JUST as MisterMoonbeam was being released. I didn’t even have to go inside. He’s supposed to be calling the surgeon to check on what’s up with his ablation surgery. It needs to be scheduled before this man that I love has even more severe issues! It’s so scary that this keeps happening. We snuggled all night and I slept well, but this was just the icing on the cake when it comes to stress right now!

DarkKnight is coming home at lunchtime today to work from here so I can take the car. I have a volunteer coming over at 10 am to help me get things set up for the morning so I will be able to leave to head to Frederick around noon. Apparently during the third potassium infusion last night, things were feeling really burny for SirGawain and they stopped it. They tried to give him another IV location site but gave up when they couldn’t find a vein. So my poor sweetie looks like a pincushion right now.

He let me know this morning that his other levels that were tested were all fine (magnesium, etc) but potassium has not improved and is still reading as critical. His blood pressure last night was 124/77, so that was a relief. This morning it is 144/97.

Last night before I left for home (a little after 9 pm) I made him fill out his health care proxy and last wishes paperwork. He’s not in any danger right now, but I was worried that he didn’t have it done. It still needs to be signed to make it legal though. I think he put down two of his siblings and his uncle as his proxies. Which is good - we’ve only been dating again for a few months and though I’d be willing to do that for him, it takes some not-yet-existant pressure off of me. I just want the paperwork to exist!

Speaking of which, I had DarkKnight update his paperwork as well, and I filled out my own yesterday too. Both as of yet unsigned, but that should happen soon. You have to have two witnesses that aren’t mentioned in the document.
I'm sorry about the guys' health issues. I hope everything gets treated and they take more responsibility with their ongoing medications!
So SirGawain’s potassium is now at a 2.9, which is better but still low. His nurse says they’d be or to let him leave tomorrow if it gets to be like a 3.4. This may be possible because they are now medicating him for a bacterial infection with antibiotics - they think it’s pulling out all of the potassium when he takes a dump.

I’m glad. He’s bored as hell in the hospital room and now he has to be in “isolation” so that means I’m wearing my mask, plus gloves and a disposable plastic gown. The nurses are all covered up now too, so everyone looks silly. I sent a message to my doctor to see if they recommend I get tested as well. I haven’t had any symptoms though. When he does come home we are going to have to do some more deep cleaning, but we’ve been doing that since we started dating. His place is a mess.
Oh! I also wanted to add that the surgeon’s office called and scheduled MisterMoonbeam’s ablation. It’s going to be on the 8th.
I’m tired. Not just physically, but emotionally as well. I have to-do lists that are legit laughing at me, and lists that haven’t been made because I don’t have a minute. Thoughts wander through my mind and I’m like, shit yes, I need to do that! But it’s difficult to do long term stuff because the short term is taking up all of my energy. I feel like crying because it can be overwhelming.

Still, stuff is getting done. I helped a homeless man who recently had a stroke reunite with his pet - his new apartment complex wouldn’t let him move in until his dog was fixed, and I secured the donor that covered all costs so he could regain custody. Another lady messaged me today, frantic, and I worked for 30 minutes to figure out her vet bills and get her cat’s critical medication paid for immediately by another donor. Our storage unit is filling up with donations for this month’s Baby Day Giveaway - I think I’ve made 6 trips total there this week.

I’ve got laundry running at my house and at SirGawain’s. I put away the outside garbage cans today, which sounds stupid to count that but it was a small win. I’m trying to farm out household chores to my guys but they’re exhausted too. MisterMoonbeam is going to scoop litter today upstairs for me, DarkKnight needs to sweep and swiffer the living room floor.

My paperwork list has some wins, but *all* of the finished stuff needs attention to get it truly finished - signatures, mailing it out, a figure or two. I’ve been calling and texting today about buying a car for MisterMoonbeam. No one has anything in stock or available. It’s frustrating to be stymied by what seems stupid. I need things to go right here!
SirGawain is still at the hospital, but we have hope that he will be discharged today. DarkKnight is coming home at lunchtime so I can keep the car, and LittleMichigan will pick him up from work in the evening. If SirGawain does get released, I’ll do a sleepover there to get him settled back in. I will be going straight to his house this afternoon to feed his cats and make his bed with the clean sheets and blankets I washed there yesterday. Which reminds me that I have to wash the bedding in MisterMoonbeam’s bedroom and make the bed in the spare room (which was our foster room). BugGirl’s friend is staying with us this weekend - she’s driving down from upstate NY.

We are supposed to be getting dumped on by Hurricane Ida today - I’m told it’s raining right now but I’m in MisterMoonbeam’s bedroom with the solid shades pulled, the lights off with the air conditioner going and the Echo Dot is playing thunder sounds. Who knows what it’s like outside? Lol Not me!
I’m glad the Blessing Box is closed Wednesdays. It’s nice to lay in bed longer sometimes! I’m getting hungry though, so I should probably get up and get my day started.

The blue in my hair is faded and I need to have it redone. Gotta look at my budget! I would like to be able to do it this weekend if possible. I also need to order new bras, so that’s like an extra $250 I’d have to spend between those two wants. Not sure if we will have that because of all the events and trips we have planned for the month, and with all of the extra being shoved onto a credit card this week - I’ve had to fill my gas tank twice and will have to do it again today with this running back and forth to Frederick. And eating out each night by myself. And buying SirGawain underwear and socks. It all adds up. Future me is going to have a small to non-existent budget for extra fun this month.

Oh, and MisterMoonbeam has to buy a car. We are struggling with all the back and forth, and with the ablation being scheduled in a hospital an hour and a half away, and a cabin camping trip prepaid for the following weekend - things are just really a struggle to figure out who needs the one car when. I talked to a sales rep at the Honda dealer and they have zero Honda Fits available, and the rest of the area is devoid of them as well! We were really sure he could get one, but it doesn’t look like it’s going to be possible. The sales rep suggested a Kia Niro but I haven’t had time to research those at all. Our requirements are 1) new, 2) good gas mileage, 3) very comfortable for long commutes, 4) a hatchback that can hold a twin bed. I will do more research while sitting in the hospital today, I think. SirGawain needs a new car too, but he is thinking later this year, I believe.

I’m starting a new thing today with a book called 52 Lists for Happiness. I will post them here as I work through it. I think it’s going to be both fun and a positive thing.
Annnnd this morning my nephew messaged, asking if I could co-sign on a loan for his last semester of college. He’s going for a bachelor of fine arts in musical theater, and he’s been on the deans list all four years. It’s a private school, around 20k a semester. He’s made it to his last few months and he owes $4500. He has scholarships and grants covering about 12k and he’s unable to get a loan by himself. He said he went and told the financial aid office he was poor, and they lowered his bill to the remaining $4500.

I love this boy as much as my own children - I was there when he was born and I’ve been a big part of raising him and watching him grow up. When PunkRock left me last year, my nephew canceled his spring break plans and came to stay with us instead. Like, that’s how much he loves me! If I can help him, I want to do so, that’s for sure.

His parents have horrific credit and even worse money management issues, so that’s not an option for him. I told him I am not a good co-signer because I have no income! Also, it makes me nervous to tie up our credit when we are financing a car in the next week or two, and buying a building next year!

However, I do want to help him. I looked into doing a refi on our house, (was thinking of doing that anyway) but it looks like it would take 45-60+ days and he needs cash quicker than that. MisterMoonbeam suggested that he could take a loan out from his 401(k) to cover it and a few other things. That may be the way we go - he just paid off two other loans to himself and this one would be smaller and we could pay it back quicker.

I have to say I was a little taken aback by his offer to do that. I asked him if he really wanted to make that much of a commitment to me and I guess he already has in other ways. He said it was circle the wagons time and it was an option. It’d be 4.25% interest but he’s paying it back to himself, and it could be here in 7 days or less.

My nephew went and asked the school this afternoon if he could do a payment plan or waive late fees and they aren’t willing to work further with him. They said they will assess him a $275 late fee on Wednesday, and then a short while later his classes will switch to non-credit or something. Ugh. He’s not really sure, other than the late fee part. He doesn’t think they are going to drag him out of class but they are going to fuck with his graduation if he doesn’t get it paid.

We will talk more about it as a polycule when I get home. SirGawain is not being released today. The rain is really bad and the basement in his house is flooding. I’ve done what I can to mitigate it and now what we do is hope. Sigh.

So emotionally tired.
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I’m awake early to take DarkKnight to work so I can keep the car. All week I’ve been sleeping in til like 9, while he comes home at noon and we switch then (I take him back to work). This morning I can’t even get into the overflow room because of the amount of Baby Day giveaway donations, so I need to empty the space out before opening the Blessing Box at 11. So, I am up early to take the car so I can fill it and go to the storage unit before the day starts.

My insomnia is pretty much cured - I’ve been passing out early every night with no issues. Nothing like a health care crisis to knock me the fuck out, I guess. I woke up twice to pee - once at midnight and then right at 6 am, just as DarkKnight’s alarm went off. Both times our FIV+ kitty, Olivia, was sleeping on me and purring. Which would have been nice if she hadn’t created this little comma of sweat along my side! Oh man am I tired and achy. I would say that someone needs to buy me a massage, but the person I see closed up shop and moved after Covid started and she had a baby.

I came home early from Frederick last night because the hurricane rain was awful. SirGawain had water intrusion in his basement by the back door and I had to set up a blower fan to dry it out. It just exhausted me completely and I had no spoons left to do the chores I had set myself and instead I just went home. I was just in a slump. On the way home I started crying because I felt like a terrible girlfriend and I was overcome with the want to see SirGawain, even though I had just sat with him for three hours at the hospital. I knew going home was the best option though because the rain was flooding everything.

When I got to Hagerstown, it stopped raining and I felt a bit better. I had called and chatted with DarkKnight the entire drive home pretty much, so I picked up MisterMoonbeam and we went to Cracker Barrel. He had already eaten dinner, so he just ordered a slice of cake while I tucked away some country fried steak and some assorted carbs that made me feel sooooo comforted.

Anyway, we discussed a lot of stuff, and when we got home, he put in for the 401(k) loan. He said he had a lot of smaller high-interest bills that he could wipe out, as well as pay for my nephew’s tuition and his car down payment, with just $10,000. It will take up to 7 days to arrive, but in that space of time he is going to make a list of everything he has that is outstanding (tax bills and medical expenses from his wife passing, as well as his own health care costs).
SirGawain is home from the hospital! He’s on 5 different meds and has to make 4 different appointments - 1 with a new primary care doctor, 1 for lab work, and two with cardiac specialists. We picked up all of his medication tonight and bought a blood pressure cuff and a pill sorter. Right now he’s using his shampooer to clean the carpet that is still soaking wet and stinks and I’m afraid it isn’t going to do much good, but it’s worth a try.

I’m staying overnight tonight and tomorrow morning we are going to clean his kitchen. We bought a bunch of stuff to do that, and it’s going to be a huge chore, but it needs a deep clean to be sure everything is hygienic. After we finish that, we also need to clean the area that led to the basement flooding, as it is a concrete landing full of stray cat feces and mud and leaves and just grossness. We bought some stuff for that too.

Tomorrow afternoon I am supposed to go new car shopping with MisterMoonbeam, but if I’m back late we will do that on Saturday. I also have to get stuff ready for our houseguest this weekend - my oldest daughter has a friend coming to visit her from New York. I washed the bedding earlier this week and MisterMoonbeam says he will make the bed tomorrow so I don’t have to worry about it. Yay! The rest of the house needs attention though, so both MisterMoonbeam and DarkKnight and I have some cleaning to do in the evening!

We’ve decided to host a bbq on Monday for the holiday, but it will prolly be just our polycule. I feel like I have SO MUCH to get done and it will be nice to have a day at home where we can all sleep in and have nothing on the calendar but to hang out and eat good food.
Had some good feels and sex last night with SirGawain. I hadn’t been laid or masturbated since the last time he spent the night at my house - two weeks ago. After that I was on my period and then emotional and exhausted from the whole, having two boyfriends in the hospital thing. So it was nice to not only reconnect but have that release. Now of course it has kickstarted my regular horniness.

My nephew called today and he no longer needs a loan from us. Apparently his mom took out a parent plus loan without him knowing. He was relieved but also irritated, because she didn’t tell him and he’s been frantic. I’m happy because I didn’t like the idea really of MisterMoonbeam footing the bill. Now that frees up his transfer to go toward other things. Yay! It’s a win all the way around for everyone.

I’m starving and need to eat.
Here’s my first entry in my “52 Lists for Happiness” thing.

List 1 is “list what makes you happy right now.” This was relatively easy, so yay for low effort! Lol

The second page is to “Take Action,” and I’m supposed to pick one item on my list to turn it into a daily practice. This is a bit more difficult. A lot of them involve other people, and I can’t build happiness waiting for others to complete these tasks with me. And some aren’t practical to do daily - road trips, a clean house, a nature walk, etc.

I believe I am going to start making sure I listen to an upbeat piece of music every day. (Pop music/new wave songs) I almost always do anyway, but to make this work for the challenge, I’m going to do so with purpose and intent. I will make a list of songs I listen to, on that blank page in this journal and post it next week.

Today’s song is going to be “Space Age Love Song” by Flock of Seagulls.

Thats all I’ve planned so far.

I’m actually not feeling too well myself today. I didn’t drink any water until just a minute ago, so I think I am dehydrated. I took my blood pressure because SirGawain gave me a look, and it was 128/88. Usually I am around 117/82 so I guess that’s high for me, but it isn’t concerning I don’t think. I really do think I’m dehydrated and need to pour some liquids down my throat. I don’t have a headache or fever or anything; I just feel slightly dizzy and foggy.

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So much going on and I don’t even know where to begin. Isn’t that always the way? I’m waiting for it to be noon so I can go pick up BugGirl from the sober house. Her friend came down from New York yesterday and spent the night yesterday and will again tonight. We don’t mind - we have the spare bedroom now. Lol What’s funny is that she was asking us about open relationships and so I gave her a bunch of books to look at while she is here - More Than Two, Opening Up, The Ethical Slut, and the Kimchi Cuddles comic book which I forget the name of right now since it is actually MisterMoonbeam’s! I figure she can look at them and then decide if she wants to get any for herself.

We REALLY need to go grocery shopping today. I haven’t been home for a great length of time in a while and our cupboards and fridge and freezer are bare. I’m prolly going to go after I write this and MisterMoonbeam gets out of the shower. DarkKnight is up but he deserves a break so I am dragging MisterMoonbeam out. Also, MM is paying this week. Lol Though I suppose I could grab his card and go, if I asked him. I’d rather have company and input though. I will see if BugGirl’s friend will pick her up and then I don’t have to stress about making it out of the store in time. We’re going to spend a LOT getting meat stocked up in the freezer!

This afternoon BugGirl and her friend are accompanying me to SirGawain’s to do some deep cleaning. Shit, even surface cleaning would be an improvement! But I went to a thrift store yesterday and snagged him a dining room table, area rug and a desk for a little over $200 with free delivery on Tuesday. (He sent me a PayPal to reimburse me afterward.) So now we have to empty the dining room in preparation for the delivery. That room is kind of a catch-all right now, and is full of bits and pieces and boxes.

Ugh more to take about but the shower just shut off so I guess it’s time to go!
Yesterday was crazy busy again. I woke up and hit the ground running! SirGawain and I went to the thrift store again and this time I purchased 4 matching bookcases, all new in box. They have three shelves and then a pair of cabinet doors underneath - they’re all a good size and will somewhat match his new dining room table, we hope! They’re sold for $110 each at Office Depot, but we got all four for $130 TOTAL. Nice! All of the furniture is supposed to be delivered tonight at 5:30, so DarkKnight and I are driving to Frederick to help unload it and get everything inside at SirGawain’s. BugGirl is supposed to be part of the delivery crew so we hope to see her! (The thrift shop is an extension of the sober house she is staying at.)

Between today and yesterday, I made 5 trips to the Blessing Box storage unit. It’s soooo full. I should have rented a larger one, oh my god. I can’t believe how much stuff has been donated already! The plan is that one of my friends will meet us there next Wednesday afternoon to load it up in his trailer (it’s a closed box trailer) and that will sit in my driveway Wednesday night, so when we do the baby day giveaway next Thursday, we can unload it and he can then take off. This was we won’t have to scramble Thursday morning, moving stuff back and forth. Honestly though his trailer may not be enough!

Yesterday my polycule had a bbq, and we scarfed down grilled ribeyes, potato salad, Mac salad, beans and I made a tomato-avocado-mozzarella salad. It was all super yummy! Afterward, we all went to see Shang-Li and the Ten Rings. It was a fun time and a great movie. Then we had dinner together at Ruby Tuesday’s. MisterMoonbeam paid for the movie and dinner, so that was pretty great.

I was asleep when my head hit the pillow!

Sunday was busy too - MisterMoonbeam did go shopping with me and we legit spent over $1000 on groceries! I hadn’t been shopping in like a month and we’d been eating out like every single meal because I’d been running back and forth to the hospital, and stuff. So we were out of everything. He was paying for those too, so I warned him it would be a lot!

We spent $750 at Sam’s Club. We were using the scanner tool and it cut us off at that price, so MisterMoonbeam took those out to the car, I bought more stuff that totaled $153. After taking all of those purchases home we went to Martin’s and spent $350. Fucking crazy. We decided to buy no junk food - this was just meat, fresh produce and some frozen fruit. Cat litter too, which was $45 by itself.

Wouldn’t you know it that our stand-up freezer decided to die at some point, so we had to cram all of the groceries into the Blessing Box fridge/freezer combo and out fridge to get everything to fit. The old freezer is supposed to be hauled off at some point today. Sigh.
I wanted to share a pic of my salad that I made. So yummy! Grape tomatoes, 2 avocados, mozzarella, fresh basil, minced garlic and balsamic vinaigrette dressing!
Wow! Thanks for all the love on my salad. Believe me, it’s just as yummy as it looks! It’s super easy to make, it looks fancy and it’s delicious - I highly recommend it. 😁

This morning I am up early to take MisterMoonbeam for his procedure. He’s having an ablation in Arlington, so it’s a drive - and during rush hour. Ugh. I actually could have slept in more, but our blind cat, Poppy, brought me a sock, a toy unicorn and a crinkle ball and buried them under my bedcovers. I awoke when I touched the crinkle ball, which totally freaked me out. Poppy was there, and she dug her claws into my hand - apparently I should be appreciative of her presents. Ugh. This was at 4 am so I am not very happy! I got up to pee and now I am in the living room, half awake.

MisterMoonbeam is pretty scared about the procedure today. He called his kids and his parents. He made sure they all had my number. He told me he told his kids to “buy a house” if he doesn’t make it. Sigh. I’m actually anxious about it myself. He gave me his PIN number to his phone and debit card - which I already have but never remember since I don’t really ever use either. I told him if I took money from his bank account after he died, I’d get in trouble - there’s an actual form that allows me legal access, so after he makes it through this procedure, we will get it filled out.

He did add me as beneficiary to his 401(k) and his life insurance accounts, but he doesn’t yet have a will of any sort. That takes more effort. When I think of that, it makes me a little nervous, but honestly, anything here that his family members might want that is his, they would be welcome to take if he passed. I wouldn’t want drama, that’s for sure. Oh, I am also his health care proxy. We did that a while back. Should probably find those forms and bring them with us, in case.

I am sure he will be okay, as this is a common procedure. Still, there’s nothing like a surgery to get the wheels turning and focus you on mortality.

The past few weeks have put me through the ringer, between MisterMoonbeam’s tachycardia and SirGawain’s high blood pressure and hypokalemia.

Oh, BugGirl is really sick now too. At the furniture delivery last night, she didn’t show, and the women who were there said she had been in bed all day sleeping and vomiting. They said she had a Covid test done but that wasn’t it. She should call me today.

That said, the delivery itself went great and everything fit. My new kitten, Rollo, loves the table - he couldn’t stop exploring around it and climbing all over the base! He fell asleep under it, the cutie! Anyway, the rug and the table look good in the room, and the desk & four bookcases are now awaiting attention, but no one has any time to put anything together. If MisterMoonbeam is complication free today, I might go over and assemble things tomorrow or Friday!

Okay, so BigGirl IS positive for Covid. So I get a call in the middle of sitting in a hospital, surrounded by vulnerable patients, while my equally exposed boyfriend is in surgery. FUCK

I let the nurse know just as soon as she came out (in like 10 minutes, actually) and she said she would find out where I could go to get tested and let the surgical team know.

Meanwhile, DarkKnight gets picked up by LittleMichigan at work, and he’s now home after being tested. SirGawain is also now at home, and he also went to a local center and got tested. So we are good at the moment.

Everything I am reading that as long as we test negative, we don’t need to quarantine - just wear a mask when indoors for the next 14 days. Okay.

The surgeon just came out and told me that MisterMoonbeam is in recovery and I can join him soon. I told her about the Covid exposure, and apparently that info wasn’t shared. However, she said it’s fine for me to come back as long as I wear a mask. Which I have been doing all along, but okay. She doesn’t seem very concerned.

She did say that the issue with MisterMoonbeam’s heart was in a very tricky spot - right where there’s all sorts of conductive stuff going on. But they got it worked on and he should be good. The entire procedure took about 2 hours. He’s supposed to now be in recovery for 3 hours, so I am waiting for them to let me back.

I don’t feel like I have any Covid symptoms, but I am crazy exhausted and have been the last few days. But I’ve just been chalking that up to, you know, SirGawain being in the hospital and me running back and forth from Frederick every single day, while trying to keep everything running both at the house and with my Blessing Box! I also didn’t eat today until 1:30. So that is it - just tiredness so far.

The surgeon said I should just get tested in my city, as they don’t have a testing center at the hospital anymore. So I guess I will do that tomorrow, as I won’t be home tonight until 8-9 pm.
You've certainly had your share of medical problems in your polycule lately! I hope this takes care of Mr Moonbeam heart arrhythmia. I had a friend who had the procedure about 10 years ago... it worked for her!

Sorry about the covid scare :( we do the same here. If exposed and vaccinated, get tested 3-5 days after the exposure, wear a mask for 14 days around others. Fingers crossed you're all negative!!
Home. I feel like shit. Took my temp and it’s 97.2 F and I can definitely still taste the onions from dinner. Please god I hope I don’t catch this. I don’t have time to slow down right now!
MisterMoonbeam and I went and got tested this morning at the drive-thru center. It took about 30 minutes or so? When we left there were like 35 cars behind us. Crazy. Hopefully we get an answer soon.

So far none of us have any symptoms that we could pin down as being from Covid. We are all overly exhausted, but that could have other causes!

I really hope I get a result before Saturday - I want to go to my reserved cabin so bad! I’ve been waiting to get away and now to have this happen…ugh! DarkKnight and SirGawain were tested yesterday, so they should hear back before me. Keeping my fingers crossed!