Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love


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DarkKnight is negative for Covid! Oh I am so fucking happy! He’s going to stay home from work again tomorrow though to wait for the rest of us to have results. Like if I am positive, he’s probably going to test positive eventually, you know? But hopefully that won’t be the case. I was legit out of sorts all day and just laid on the couch in a depression funk.

I made a list tonight of food to take on my trip this weekend, if it doesn’t get canceled due to the coronavirus. That sort of helped but I feel crazy desperate. Like please, please, I need to be away from all of this so bad! I didn’t realize how much I was looking forward to it, but I need to go into the woods and be under the trees, and I need my feet in the sand at the ocean! I have been teary a couple of times today.

I’m going to go to bed now and hopefully I can wake up to a text saying I’m safe.

In good news, I think DarkKnight found us a new upright freezer. I’m going to ask for donations toward it through the Blessing Box, since 98% of the time it’s 100% donated food and freeze pops in it. Like when it died last weekend, we lost nothing, but the Box lost a lot! It’s already a struggle without it, so I need to order it soon. If we are able to host the Baby Day Giveaway next Thursday as planned, I need as many freeze pops as possible! There are sure to be a ton of kids in my yard. :)


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SirGawain is also negative for Covid! So glad to put that nonsense behind us - but BugGirl is still sick. :( She called me yesterday and she said the vomiting had stopped, but she’s still struggling with a fever and she’s now lost her sense of smell. I’m hoping the fact that she’s vaccinated means she’s going to recover quickly. I wish I could be there to help her through it, my little girl! Several of the women at the recovery home are positive, as are staff.

Today I am up early (6 am) to head out for my cabin-camping trip with SirGawain. I reserved this spot months ago with my daughters in mind, and I’m sad it’s not the three of us going away for a fun escape. However, there’s nothing I need more right now than a getaway into nature and I am glad this is paid for already!

My plan is to hike at least a mile in four different state parks this weekend - Wye Oak, Wye Island, Tuckahoe and Martinak. If it’s too hot, or I can’t hack it, that’s fine! I can come back to this part of the state later on. :) On Sunday, I’m also headed to Rehoboth Beach for some sun and sand.

I have no time to actually have to be anyplace, and I’m so ready to just BE. I need a break so badly.

I’m concerned about going with SirGawain, not gonna lie. He was being *really* wishy washy yesterday - just like the last time we traveled together. First, his boss wants him to work Sunday afternoon. Then he said his cat looks sick - and the only time he can get into the vet is, well, Sunday afternoon. Then he said he’s not been home in a long time and he’s worried his cats will miss him. When I point out that he’s been home all week - he says well yes, but he didn’t pay them much attention.

I was getting more and more agitated as these messages were popping up. Eventually I snapped and told him if he wants to cancel to just fucking do it, because I am GOING, with or without him, and I will legit just pick a random friend to accompany me. Seriously, this is supposed to be my getaway from stress, and he was just adding to my anxiety.

He backed down and said he wanted to go, but then he didn’t talk to me the rest of the evening. I gave him a call after 9 pm - here at home we were focused on watching Come From Away (omg so good!) - and he was distracted and not very talkative.

I hope he is more upbeat today because I cannot and will not be focused on anyone else’s state this weekend. I’m going to be selfish AF with my happiness. I just spent two weeks scheduled up in medical hell, nonstop back and forth, with 2 households to keep ticking over, and a big event happening next week. I have to focus on ME the next couple of days. My spoons are missing and my bucket is empty. I need to recharge or I won’t be able to function. I really do want to spend this time with him and share heartspace in the outdoors, but I need this for me so badly.

That said, I woke up at 6 with a massive headache. Like, please stab me someplace because I need the distraction from how bad it hurts! Instantly I knew I had fucked up - I legit drank ZERO bottles of water yesterday, and all day long I would remember that I needed to hydrate, but I wasn’t home and able to grab anything. So, now I am suffering from my stupidity.

I’m writing this while laying on the couch. I drank an entire bottle of water and took an extra strength Tylenol, and the headache is fading. I’m now going to be running late this morning, but that’s okay. Like I said, I have an agenda, but no set schedule. I’m going to get some food in my stomach and then shower, dress and start shoving supplies into my car. I’m very much unpacked and not ready to go. Thankfully, I have a closet 100% dedicated to hiking and camping, so stuff that so need is already in bags and boxes and totes and that should be the easy part! Also, my wardrobe for this weekend is just hiking clothes and pajamas and then swimwear. The food will take the longest, and I will need to stop at Sheetz for ice to put in the cooler. I need to pick up cash someplace to pay for firewood once I finally get to the cabin.

I’m going to lay here for another 12 minutes - until 7 am, and then I am going to move my ass and get things done. I hope to be on the road by 8 am.


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I had a good getaway with SirGawain and enjoyed my time under the trees.


I ended up only visiting 3 of the 4 state parks as planned, and we skipped the beach. I figure I didn’t make it to Martinak, but that just gives me a good excuse to pop over to the eastern side of the state between now and the end of October again! I am already planning the trip. :)

I’ve now hiked in 26 state parks. There’s still a ton more to do, but I feel very happy and extremely positive about visiting more! I doubt I will finish all 64 this year, but I started late and there’s no rule that I need to do them all in 2021 - it’s just me setting the pace and it’s all good!


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Ugh I am exhausted! Lots going on today. We are babysitting one of my old foster kitties for a week, while his family is on vacation. So he’s living in MisterMoonbeam’s office for now. I am always happy to help - I like seeing him every year! :)

Today though, my new kitten Rollo had to be taken to the emergency vet. (This is a different cat than the one SirGawain was worried about this weekend.) He was diagnosed with a “fever of unknown origin” and sent home with 4 new meds. MisterMoonbeam sent $200 to SirGawain to help pay for the cost, which ended up being just under $500. I’m going to go over to see my baby tomorrow! I would have gone tonight but SirGawain has an online game on Mondays, and I didn’t want to drive there to sit alone. So hopefully Rollo will be feeling better when I come by tomorrow evening. ❤️

I spent 4 hours sorting clothing with 3 of my volunteers, and I’d guess that we parted out 1/3 of what has been donated. We are out of bins, so I figure we will sort the rest the day of our giveaway. I’m tired - it was a LOT of work.

I emptied two litter boxes and then set up a new litter mat and rug runner in MisterMoonbeam’s bedroom today. I need to do the rest of the litter boxes in the house still though. Something in the living room smells like pee while I am sitting on the couch writing this - not sure what’s up with that. Ugh. I got one load of laundry into the dryer and another is waiting in the washer to be moved. I have two bags of donated clothes that stink and need sanitized, but I can’t move the stuff out of the dryer because I need an empty basket. I will probably help MisterMoonbeam hang up his clean clothes tonight, as they are piling up again. Sigh.

DarkKnight is making my favorite meal from the Cheesecake Factory, here at home tonight - their Chipotle Chicken Pasta. Now THAT smells amazing! He also made me strawberry lemonade from fresh lemons and strawberries while I was gone hiking this weekend so I came home to deliciousness.

Even with all of the nonsense going on in my life that is negative, I have so much positive here! My life is full of love and I am so glad for it.


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Wednesday was my day off. This post is going to be a timed list of where I was, and what I was doing. I think it’s interesting to keep track of my minutes every now and then. This is a pretty typical Wednesday for me.

6:00 am The alarm on my phone goes off, and I pull on yesterday’s clothes. I spent the night in Frederick last night with my boyfriend SirGawain. We were up late watching the Hulu show Vikings together, and I really don’t wanna get out of bed!

6:15 I field some messages before leaving. Someone has written to me about needing size 2 diapers, and another person is asking about the Baby Day Giveaway being rescheduled.

6:30 am I kiss SirGawain goodbye and drive home to Hagerstown. I probably won’t see him again until Friday. Our kitten Rollo has been sick so I am anxious about leaving. It’s a foggy and quiet commute back to my house.

7:00 am I pull into the driveway and my husband DarkKnight is waiting with a travel cup full of hot chai. He puts his work-pack and lunch bag into the back of the car, and climbs in so I can take him to the office. He teases me because I want a new travel mug and have yet to take time to get one. I sit in the driveway for a brief period, as a friend messages me to tell me that a mutual acquaintance has died. She saw the obituary in the paper. I’m really confused and upset, so I check online. It’s a mistake - same names, but the middle name is different, and all the details are wrong. It’s not the guy I briefly dated, yay!

7:15 am After I drop off DarkKnight in Williamsport, I head to Sheetz to fill up the gas tank. It’s almost on empty from my hiking trip this weekend. After that’s done, I continue to text my friend from earlier about my plans for the day, but then I’ve got to get back on the road.

7:30 am I arrive at the new Walmart to pick up non-slip shoes for a woman starting a new job on Thursday. (I had ordered them online last night in the middle of watching Vikings.) Two workers come out and say no one told them pickups now start at 7 am and one of them has to run across the entire store to get my order. They both seem to be absolutely joyous though, and the interaction between them gives me an emotional boost.

7:45 am I pull into a parking spot and check my messages. I field a question about drop off times and another person wants to know if I help with car seats. I direct the second person to a program at the hospital. Someone who was trying to help me yesterday with a corporate hotel rate has written, and we have a short back and forth. Ultimately she couldn’t help, but I appreciate her anyway! I continue to text with my friend. I also message the woman whose shoes I just picked up, to see about meeting up to give them to her.

8:00 am I head to the bank and figure out that the drive thru opens at 9. Gah! Of course! I get $20 out of the ATM for later. After parking again, I call a local vet and ask about the cost of fixing a neighborhood female cat. My contact there is always so smiley through the phone! She promises to send me an email later today. I’m concerned that the cost may be high - I usually get help from a local rescue, so I send my friend there a quick message to see if she has any room in her schedule to help out.

8:15 am My 9:00 assistance appointment asks if we can meet at 9:30 instead. Sure. I’ve made it back to my driveway, and I get a phone call from the local rescue. They can sponsor not only the one cat, but others as well! We talk about the grant they received for a short bit, and about how I can utilize her vouchers to assist others in the community. I hang up with her and contact another rescue to schedule the spay for the original cat. They’re actually in surgery today, so I have to leave a message.

8:30 am I send a message to the woman who owns the female cat and give her an update. I am also helping with a temporary housing situation for the animal, so we discuss that a bit. The vet email has arrived, and they are expensive compared to the place I am using the voucher at.

8:45 am I go into the house and head directly to the dryer to pull out a load of clothes for the Blessing Box, and bag them up for later in the week. I see that DarkKnight took care of another load for me last night. I start another donation bag in the washer. I snag a bunch of random food items to fill the Blessing Box, and I do that. We are officially closed today (it’s my day off, remember?) but I know people will still come by here for help.

9:00 am I realize I am still wearing yesterday’s clothes. I do the walk of shame down to the basement and decide to wear pants because I’m going to be lifting a lot of things today.

9:30 am I go to my assistance appointment (thankfully it’s right around the corner) and see they have a bunch of donated baby items ready to go, some of them brand new. The clients fill my car, and offer me a working chest freezer. I can’t fit it and the baby items at the same time, so I decide to head to the storage unit first. I take a photo and post it on the Facebook page. The woman I’ve been texting with comes along with me to the storage unit - she’s the one I am helping with the cat, but the main reason I am there is that her family is about to be homeless. They’re emptying the last of their stuff into a vehicle while we get into the car. Before heading out, I message with the friend that is going to be boarding the cat and make sure he’s all set this morning. He wasn’t expecting me this early, but he’s working from home and can take the kitty in a bit.

9:45 am The client and I empty the donations into the storage unit. It’s ridiculous how much has been gifted to me for this giveaway. The generosity of my city’s residents is absolutely amazeballs. I really don’t know how I can fit more into here! When we get back into the car, I realize I forgot about the post I made about the freezer. I have 12 messages in my queue. I pause to let everyone know its been claimed, and with the first two respondents, I tell the second-in-line she’s on hold while I work with number one. Number one and I go back and forth, but she’s not able to take it immediately. I tell her I will message her in a half hour to see if she’s worked it out.


10:00 am We head over to the Travelodge to pay for a one-week reservation with donations I collected yesterday evening. It’s really great that the woman that I am helping not be homeless today, has just donated a bunch of items that will help other moms from all over the area, next week. We chat while waiting to sign paperwork, and her gratitude is apparent. She asks me many times to thank the donors. I promise. The front desk staff give us each a free bottle of water, and says they can come check into the room at 2 pm. I look at my phone again, and I have a message from SirGawain. He says he’s ordered tickets to go to the National Zoo next week with me, and put in a leave request at work for my birthday. I feel happy for many reasons right now!

10:20 am Today is the last day in their residence, so when we arrive back to the apartment, the woman’s family is still clearing out the last few items. The freezer is loaded into my car, and they all say thank you again. I also take the cat. Its name is Tasty, because apparently at one point she stole and tried to eat a Tastykake! The family is emotional about Tasty’s departure, and I promise to keep them updated.

10:45 I arrive in the North End with Tasty, where my friend is boarding her. He is happy to see her. When I leave, he sends me several messages about getting her settled. I appreciate it, and send along some comments to the family.


11:00 am I message Number One again, but they can’t make the timing work, so they have to pass on the freezer. The second person in line is happy when I contact her, and she’s close by. She says she creates ready-made meals for her daughter with autism, and the freezer will really help with storing them.

11:15 am I arrive at the freezer recipient’s house. She and another gentleman unload. He is in a hurry, and they unload the freezer and take it to their garage.


11:30 am I am back at the bank. I give the teller the $20 bill I took out earlier and exchange it for 20 $1 bills.

11:45 am I arrive back at the house and warm up leftover bbq bacon meatloaf and green beans for my boyfriend MisterMoonbeam. He’s still working from home for his company, but I haven’t seen him yet today because he’s on conference calls. He messaged me before I got home to tell me he’s on a particularly contentious one. I add the last leftover Pizza Hut breadstick from Monday’s lunch to his plate. I open his office door and set his lunch down on the desk. He’s speaking, so we can’t talk to each other.

11:50 am I heat up leftovers of the Chipotle Chicken Pasta that DarkKnight made special for me the other night. While the microwave is going, I go and switch the Blessing Box laundry to the dryer, and start washing the comforter from my camping trip. The doorbell rings as I sit down to eat, and the visitor asks about the Baby Day Giveaway. We chat briefly, and she leaves. I turn on a new Netflix show, Metal Shop Masters.

12:20 pm I drink an entire glass of pineapple juice with lunch, and decide to sit and watch a second episode of Metal Shop Masters.


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… Continued

1:00 pm I sit in my kitchen and assemble a gift for my niece. Her birthday was yesterday, and I am late with it. Every year my oldest niece and nephew are given cash equal to their ages as the gift, but I make it creative. This year she’s 17, so she gets $17, and I bought her a coloring book and color pencil set. Each pencil has $1 bill wrapped around it. After I get everything assembled, I box it up and put it in my car. I also put my Stitch Fix returns from earlier this week out there to go to the post office. There are a ton of donations in the drop off bin on my porch, so all of those go into the car as well.


1:45 pm Drop off at the storage unit. While I am there, I see I have a missed message from the woman in need of work shoes, and she says she is at the library. I message back but it doesn’t go through.

2:15 pm I go to the post office and send off my Stitch Fix rejects and my niece’s present. I get a message from the shoe woman, and she says she’s now at Soul Haven. She doesn’t have a phone, so she only gets the messages when at a computer. I tell her to sit tight and I will be right there.


2:30 pm I arrive at Soul Haven. There are several people hanging out at the picnic tables outside, but I don’t recognize anyone. People are chatting and smiling. Everyone seems to be enjoying the nice weather. A gentleman comes out and takes the shoes from me, asking if he can also request shoes, as he is starting at the same place with his girlfriend this week. I tell him to message me so I remember to check for his size in my Boot Bank tomorrow. A social worker messages me to ask if I have a pot and a pan to give to someone who is living in a hotel and has nothing to make food with.

3:00 pm Arrive in Martinsburg. I drive here every Wednesday to snag donations from a consignment shop. The bags fill my car. I tell them I won’t be able to pick up next week, as it’s my birthday. I get a message from the gentleman, asking for help with his work shoes.


3:30 pm Arrive in Williamsport and park at DarkKnight’s work. I design some rooms on my Redecor game app while I wait for him to get off of work.

4:10 pm I walk into the house and head straight to the laundry room. I move the comforter into the dryer after bagging up the now-dry donation clothes. I grab an empty basket and pick up all the clothing on the floor of the upstairs bathroom. While in there, the doorbell rings. DarkKnight answers and takes in a donation of a kiddie pool. I grab my pile of camping and hiking clothes out of the living room (my house is a disaster) and stuff it into the basket. I get all of that going in the washer. MisterMoonbeam comes out of the office and kisses me. We talk about his appointments this week, and when everyone will need the car we share.

4:24 pm I take off my shoes, pants, and bra, then collapse into MisterMoonbeam’s bed. He’s back in his office and DarkKnight is feeding the cats dinner. I lay in the air conditioned room and start writing this. I play some more Redecor and browse Reddit and Facebook.

5:30 pm One of my friends calls and asks me where I ordered pizza from the other day. (Pizza Hut) I ask her about volunteering tomorrow and she’s up for it. I can smell lasagna cooking and I know it’s almost time for me to eat.

I stopped logging times after that, but I did
drink another glass of pineapple juice - but this one mixed with Prosecco while watching the next episode of What If…? with my nesting partners. We had watched “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure” on Sunday night, and “Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey” on Monday, and we finished that up with “Bill & Ted Face the Music” this evening. I then watched another episode of Metal Shop Masters. I went to bed feeling a little guilty about so much TV, but I enjoyed it. Honestly if it rains a ton today, I will be inside watching more episodes of the welding show! And tonight is the new Lower Decks.

I haven’t read a single book this month, other than the one DarkKnight is reading aloud to me every evening we are together. It’s almost finished! I purchased a bunch of stuff on my kindle app but I just am too tired to focus on that.
I started this morning by posting a request for the woman who needs pots and pans, and a cash donation was sent to me in less than 5 minutes to cover the cost. So DarkKnight will come home from work at lunchtime so I can keep the car and go and buy those. I know I have to check the Boot Bank today as well, for the young man who needs nonslip sneakers. I can’t physically reach that area as it’s blocked with donated clothing. My volunteers and I will be busy today with that!
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I had a hard time yesterday morning - depression was hitting hard. I needed to shower and get the Box open by 11 am and it just was not happening. For some reason, I delayed and delayed - I did everything BUT shower. I was just in this down state. I was literally sitting there in the recliner, seeing that it was 10:30 am now and I wasn’t moving. Ugh.

Funny enough though, as I was sitting, I realized that I’m actually due for my period this weekend, and that was probably making me be silly. The knowledge of that somehow got me moving and I was able to start the day better.

And the day was so good!

I was able to go buy a set of pots and pans and successfully get them dropped off to the social worker. My 3 volunteers came over and they emptied all of the bags from my car and got those donations sorted. I was really stumped as to what to do with everything being dropped off - every square inch of space that I have available is full.

So, I ended up calling DarkKnight that afternoon, and he got me another 12-ft storage unit! This one is exactly two units over from my current one, but it has some rain damage inside. This is why it is available - everything else is rented. I’m only going to be using it until Tuesday though, and the damage is avoidable.

I am really shocked that I actually need another storage unit - we have never had this level of response to a call for donations! I mean Christmas is crazy, but this is a whole different level! Let me see if I can post some photos.

I showed the current storage unit state here before. It’s this plus two other car loads of stuff in there. Lol


My foster kitten room was converted to be a bedroom for BugGirl - yeah there is a bed under there somewhere!

Here’s another view of the bedroom:


And then my overflow room - where I handle my daily operations!


I can’t even get in the door! I hope to get a bunch of this moved over to the new storage unit today. Here’s the view from inside the overflow room:


I have access to some of my food donations, which are out of frame and on the left. I’m standing next to my washer and dryer, and I can use those no problem. But everything else is blocked up! I’m too damn successful! But yeah, we needed to get another storage unit.

The plan is now on Tuesday to use a friend’s enclosed trailer to empty the storage unit and get everything moved over to my driveway. We are going to have it sit inside the trailer since we are closed Wednesday, and then Thursday will be the giveaway day. Omg it better not rain either day!

I’m supposed to have a teen volunteer come in on Monday to help as well. I get those from time to time when they need to get some hours for graduation - they need 20 a semester or a year? Not exactly sure, but parents are starting to hit me up!

Anyway, this is becoming a big source of stress for me - I need to get this event OVER, so I can move forward. In October, I usually have several events planned - every Sunday we give away free Halloween decorations and costumes, we have a big coat giveaway at the end of the month, and the first week of the month, we start signups for Teen Christmas and Senior Santa.

In the evening I had issues with our furniture delivery - one of the recipients didn’t respond when my delivery guy texted her, so that stopped the entire chain of movement. I had to contact a social worker and figure out where to send an entire suite of bedroom furniture. I had someone else getting a kitchen table with chairs, and that gentleman ended up with everything! Which was great for him, because his entire apartment consisted of a futon and nothing else. So crisis averted. :) I actually have a loveseat that I need to find a home for, and his worker is getting a photo and a message today to see if he’d like it and then we can schedule another delivery for him soon!
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Yesterday was a day of surprises for me! First off, MisterMoonbeam got a package in the mail, and I knew what it was just by the return address! Recently, my polycule went to see Shang-Chi and the Ten Rings, and I made a comment there that I wanted a plushie of a creature from the movie. Well, apparently MisterMoonbeam went and pre-ordered one before they were available, and boom! Now I own a silky soft Morris!!


It has a battery pack which makes the wings flutter! So cool! I love it lots! It wasn’t for my birthday or anything, and I felt so happy to get it. Which is weird, because I am not used to that feeling. As you may remember, I actually had to go to therapy to learn how to accept and be okay with receiving gifts. I didn’t even have an oomph of awkward or anxiety over this. I just felt heard, and loved. ❤️ So that was like an additional gift unto itself.

Then, after watching Lower Decks together last night, I got a text from MisterMoonbeam, asking me to please come see him in his office. I immediately felt terror, because that is where our current boarding cat is staying until Sunday. I thought something had happened. But nope, MisterMoonbeam just wanted to surprise me with tickets to see HAMILTON.

Holy fucking shit. I flipped. In joy, elation, excitement. Tickets were $189 a piece! He wanted to ask me about the date he had chosen. Initially, he had tickets for our entire polycule on hold, but I told him there was no fucking way I could let him spend that much! Especially since it’s in Philadelphia and we were going to need hotel accommodations - if everyone came we’d need two rooms and I just couldn’t expect him to shoulder all of that cost!

However, I was really torn because this would be a dream fulfilled for DarkKnight as well. I am sure SirGawain would enjoy the time spent together, but several factors gave me pause - 1) he doesn’t like to travel in a car long distance, and less so in a location where he’s not in frequently, 2) He fell asleep during the first act of Hamilton when we watched it together on TV 3) He’s not a big fan of the songs when I play them in the car and 4) he would be most uncomfortable sharing a hotel room and possibly a bed with another guy.

So MisterMoonbeam bought 3 tickets total, and I think DarkKnight might have eeked out ahead of me in absolute shock and happiness over it all. DarkKnight is a huge theater nerd, and when I came out of the office to tell him that MisterMoonbeam was buying me tickets to see Hamilton, he said something like “are you serious?!” and was grinning at me, and then when I said MisterMoonbeam was getting him a ticket too, he stared at me with his mouth gaping open, not unlike my reaction a few minutes earlier! He was like, wait, what?!!!

I was worried about the date for him as he started rehearsals for Elf: The Musical last week, as he is reprising his role as one of the santas this year. But he flipped through his calendar, and the show we were getting tickets for was on the one weekend in November that they’re not rehearsing! It was seriously meant to be!

So I bounced back into the office, and we picked the level of seats we wanted - something called Parquet Circle - in the theater at Kimmel Cultural Campus in Philly.

I am seriously still over the moon excited with this. Like bouncy, bouncy, bouncy! I never even thought to ask for a gift like this - never would I have ever!

MisterMoonbeam was geeking out too! He said that originally he was planning a trip for the polycule to go to Galaxy’s Edge, but the tickets were weird and the timing wasn’t working. So then he started looking at what else was available and he about fell over when he saw he could get tickets to Hamilton! He knew instantly that was what he needed to buy.

This is on top of what we are doing for my birthday already - he got tickets to a pirate evening cruise out of Baltimore Harbor next Saturday.

Holy shit I am spoiled.


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No period yet. I know it’s coming though - ugh I am emotional! Depressed right now for no reason.

I had a good day - MisterMoonbeam and I hung out with my gamer friend and my son, who are currently living together in Waynesboro. (My son is renting a room.) I took my son grocery shopping in the middle of the visit. The four of us grilled burgers and played a couple of rounds of a new board game I got yesterday, Happy Little Dinosaurs.

This week is going to be a busy one, so I am just kind of focusing one day at a time. Our new upright freezer is being delivered tomorrow, and I have a teen volunteer looking for hours so they can graduate. All of my 3 Musketeers will be here, and we need to start transporting items into our newest storage unit. It’s a lot, honestly!
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No period yet. I’m taking a rest right now this morning - I just got out of the shower and dressed, but I don’t wanna put on shoes. 😂

My new upright freezer should be here between 1-5 pm, and someone donated $200 to get it refilled, which is an excellent start. Once it arrives I need to take pics and post on my Blessing Box Facebook page to get some more cash toward that endeavor!

MisterMoonbeam bought the household a 3D printer, and that is arriving today as well. A discussion was had and it’s going to live on the workbench in the unfinished side of the basement. It’s an open sort, so a cat could fuck up a print. Putting it behind a door is the way to go! But now we have to rearrange that area…gah!


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My second storage unit is now on its way to being filled up! I had to postpone our Baby Day Giveaway until Monday now, which actually works out okay, but I really need the weather to cooperate this time.

No period yet.

My house is a crazy mess, but I honestly have no spoons left to deal with it. I’ve been keeping up with the laundry and the litter boxes. Everything else is just blah! I’m putting out fires all over which where, and people are more important than my place.


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Irritated at the post office - they first stamped my latest Stitch Fix box as “unable to access property” at a time when I was absolutely home, and I have ring doorbell footage of people on my porch before and after when they said they attempted. None of the times the people were there overlapped, so there would have been zero issues. Lies!

Then, when the box was delivered, it was torn open and the complete Fix was not there. I have a message in to customer service, as I am not getting stuck paying for stuff that didn’t arrive. The box is stamped saying it was damaged in transit, and I again have video showing when it was delivered, and no one was here from then until I went outside and picked it up like 15 minutes later.

I sent screenshots to customer service and I really hope I they are cool with it. I have enough issues around here without having to deal with this nonsense.


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The Stitch Fix issue has been resolved! They removed the stuff that I didn’t receive from my check out, and gave me a $20 credit. So the leggings I wanted and received cost me $40. Pretty sweet.


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So my birthday yesterday didn’t go as planned, but it was a really good day nonetheless!

Originally, SirGawain had booked us a pair of timed tickets from the National Zoo. I still haven’t been, in spite of living super close to DC, and making plans to go at least a half dozen times. Even when I lived in upstate NY and planned a vacation in DC, something happened and it got canceled! No zoo for you! Lol Or me, rather.

Yeah, it rained all day yesterday. I legit had super bad anxiety the night before and I didn’t get to sleep until after midnight. I still have massive fears about my partners lying to me and gaslighting me about their birthday plans. I have made many gains through therapy regarding receiving gifts, but I still worry about and get worked up about the thought that maybe they won’t give me anything.

It’s ridiculous, but my hormones just cause this physical reaction…it’s bad. I cried a bit, and stressed myself out, then fell asleep like a rock after masturbating.

I had to take DarkKnight to work yesterday morning, so SirGawain and I could actually celebrate my birthday. I was anxious once I woke up, because though the National Zoo plan was a definite no, he had promised to set an alarm and get up early to get us tickets to somewhere else. All of the museums in DC that I wanted to go to had sold-out tickets, but the websites stated that a small amount of same-day passes would be released at 7 am.

I am sad to say that I had ZERO belief that SirGawain would actually do this. He’s not an early riser, and my background of birthday letdowns didn’t allow me to take stock in his promises. So I just kinda breathed and try to make it okay, that if SirGawain didn’t live up to what he promised, that it’s not a reflection of his feelings for me…right?

DarkKnight tried to score some tickets on the way to work, as I was driving, but there were connectivity issues. We didn’t get any.

Now, I had texted SirGawain after the time he said he was setting his alarm for, and there was no response. After I dropped DarkKnight off, I tried contacting him again and he responded that he was trying now. The issue was that it was almost 15 minutes past 7, and yeah, all of the tickets were gone.

At this point, I went home and decided to shower and maybe everything would be okay. I sat down and looked up some alternative options - one being a pottery painting place. They had this option for $12, where you could paint a mug and they would gift it to cancer patients. I thought that would be pretty neat, as I definitely don’t need a mug myself, and incorporating the idea of me just giving my own gift to someone else made me feel better!

Then I got a text on my phone from a Blessing Box visitor - they had run out of gas in front of my house last night, and ended up sleeping in their car! I had noticed the vehicle but there are cars up and down my street, so it didn’t register that this person needed assistance at all. The woman wasn’t by herself - this mom slept on my street with her 4-year old son!

I immediately went to the gas station and filled up out can, and got them both McGriddle meals from McDonalds for breakfast, along with donuts. Unfortunately, after putting some gas in, the car wouldn’t start and we tried jumping it. Nothing was working, so I messaged MisterMoonbeam, and he came out to help. He added a LOT more gas, and managed to get the vehicle moving again.

This entire interaction made me feel joyous - I was heartbroken that this family slept in their car, but it was amazing that I was given the gift of being able to help with their issue! This is the kind of stuff that makes me feel good.

At this point most of the morning was gone and I got in touch with SirGawain again. We discussed things and got an escape room in Herndon, and decided to go to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. I finally showered, and left to meet him for lunch - I had a free birthday sandwich at Mission BBQ.

I was feeling so happy and upbeat on the drive to SirGawain’s - even with the pouring rain. I don’t even know if I can explain it, the emotions I felt about him - I don’t think I have ever felt this way about him before. It was just an inherent rightness, that I was going to spend my birthday with my love, and everything was going to be okay.

I will write more later!


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So, we won the escape room - it was a pirate theme - and had delicious food together. We returned to his house and watched 3 episodes of Vikings and ate cheesecake. By the third episode, I was falling asleep, and I was out pretty much as soon as my head hit the pillow.

It was a wonderful birthday, and I was happy spending it with SirGawain.

I had to leave early in the morning and the weather was terrible. The rain was super intense but I made it home okay. DarkKnight met me with some hot chai - in a new yeti travel mug! I had been needing one for a while, and it was the one on my wish list. Rather than be upset, I was super excited because DarkKnight usually doesn’t buy me gifts at all - he makes me a carrot cake from scratch every year. This is like, what I am always comfortable with and used to him doing. This year he is making my cake on Saturday for my party. But apparently he also bought me a yeti travel mug, as well as some gorgeous flowers, AND a poly kitty tshirt.

MisterMoonbeam got me the board game expansion Washington ZC, which unfortunately he didn’t realize you need the Zombicide second edition to play, which we don’t have yet. Oops! Lol It’s okay, as we don’t need an excuse to buy board games! We are also going on a cruise in Baltimore Harbor this weekend, and of course the Hamilton tickets.

Holy shit am I spoiled!

Here’s a photo of me and SirGawain. True story - our second date ever was an escape room, but we lost at that one. We won last night! Lol


And here’s my new Poly cats shirt:


Ugh my hair is soooooo faded! I’m going to get it colored again tomorrow actually - I can’t wait. I’m definitely keeping it blue and teal.


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This morning I have been busy. I got up and took DarkKnight to work, and then sat in the parking lot where I ordered wet cat food and litter from Chewy. Then I came home and watched the end of the first season of Lego Masters. When that finished, I folded laundry, and put away all of MisterMoonbeam’s clean stuff.

I also went around the house and picked up dirty laundry from every fucking room upstairs - 2 days of outfits on MisterMoonbeam’s floor, the bathroom floor had a pair of my jeans and some of MisterMoonbeam’s underwear, the living room had my hoodie and a bra, the kitchen contained one long sleeve button down belonging to DarkKnight, and there was a single sock and an undershirt in MisterMoonbeam’s office. Oh! And a single sock (that didn’t match the sock from the office) on the sunporch. Like, what the fuck? Lol So that’s all going in the washer right now.

I also worked on List 3 & List 4 from my 52 Lists for Happiness, and filled up the mini fridge and put some stuff into the Blessing Box on my porch. I need to make a post about our new freezer needing donations, even though we are closed today.

I’m leaving shortly for my hair appointment though! I can’t wait to have that intense blue & silver hair again!


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093ED334-1A22-43F8-A33D-3DDCD4003148.jpegYay! No more swamp witch! Lol I kept my natural silver on top like last time, but just did one color - teal - instead of the teal and blue together. Next time I need to go in, I think I’m going to go for red, orange and yellow.


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As you can see in my latest photo, there’s something in the center of my forehead, right at the hairline. It’s been there for weeks now, and I am terrified it is causing havoc underneath my skin. It’s painful, and dark, and though it has drained once, it’s swelling now again. I may be smiling, but I’m so very scared.

I hate my body. I have a couple of issues that co-exist, and this one is horrific. It’s called hidradenitis suppurtiva, and it’s a disfiguring disorder with no known cause or cure. Some people who suffer from it are able to figure out ways to alter their diet and daily activities to minimize flares. Other people, like me, can’t do a damn thing.

I’m “lucky” though. Since being diagnosed at 18, it’s just sat there in stage one, not progressing at all. Once in a while, I would get a flare and it would cause pain but not long term disfigurement. Almost 100% of my issues appeared in my left armpit. I had outbreak a few years ago though, where I got a lump along my outer labia, and it was huge and painful and would not burst. PunkRock tried helping me to lance it, but nothing helped. Time finally had it recede on its own and I’ve not ever had another issue at that location. Now this facial flare has happened, and it’s just as terrible, but much more visible.

I have another location on my back that is swelling.

I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. When combined with my other immune system issue, I sometimes just sit and cry in the dark and wish I could just end everything. But I’m just a whine-ass, because many people would love to be where I’m at. It’s so horribly disfiguring. I’m lucky. I’m lucky.

I’m so afraid this is going to progress to stage 2. I need to make an appointment with the dermatologist, but I know what they will say. I follow the subreddit. I belong to a couple of Facebook groups. I was lucky to have so many years without flares. They can’t predict if it will get worse, they can’t do much for me. I just have to wait and see.

Wait and see.

There’s another issue that is prolly lurking too - I put off the tests. I have all the markers for ankylosing spondylitis, which is a type of arthritis/inflammation of the joints. I’ve had issues for decades. Again though, there’s no cure or anything. I just get a new shiny label. At least that’s not gross. It’s just another kind of pain.

I feel awful and pitiful tonight. I wish this wasn’t real.