Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

We had an eventful weekend! Friday was BugGirl’s one year anniversary of being clean from drugs. She’s doing great so far with her recovery, so we took her out on Saturday to celebrate. We’re kinda broke as we are preparing for a series of trips this summer, but we couldn’t let the day pass without doing something special. So, our polycule did individual adventures and then a group party.

First, DarkKnight treated her to lunch at Cafe del Sol and bought her a Disney villain mug at 2nd & Charles.


Then, BugGirl and I went to Europe Nails in the mall, where she got a gel set manicure and I got a relaxing pedicure. To follow up with that, we shared a treat at Cinnabon.


Then MisterMoonbeam took her on a road trip to Laurel, where they visited The Crystal Fox and she scored two really cool necklaces. On the way back they sipped some Starbucks.


SirGawain then took BugGirl out to dinner at their favorite place - Sushi Bomb! Afterward, they returned to the house for gourmet cupcakes from Sam’s Club.


Together, we played a rousing game of Pictionary, where BugGirl and I won against the guys, because we’re just that amazing! However, the guys were winning for a while, and at one point SirGawain drew “France” and the guys guessed it in less than 5 seconds, leaving us all in shock! He was pretty proud of himself!


I still find myself terrified every now and then that BugGirl will trip herself up and we will be back to square one. I know it’s common. I mean, my brother messed up a decade of sobriety! PunkRock’s alcoholism had been life long, with pockets where he didn’t drink. It’s a scary and stressful thing to be going through. She’s my daughter though, and I am here for her.
My son has been sober for over 2 years now. He has a great job, and he's getting married in October to a wonderful woman. He worked his ass off, and not all of his family stood by him. It's such a good feeling to be able to envision a real FUTURE for him. Good for your daughter!
I’m so glad for your son. So many don’t get the opportunity to start over. ❤️
I’m sort of a mess today in my mind. There’s a lot going on.

Yesterday we had a BBQ at SirGawain’s place. That all went really well. It was my polycule, BugGirl and my bestie and her current partner. SirGawain surprised me with 4 different cans/bottles of formula. I kinda wished I could have spent the night, but there’s a lot going on here at the house I have to handle.

Today is honestly going to be a zoo, I’m afraid. I have a bunch of formula to share and I am anticipating a lot of visitors. I have some special requests that are being picked up, and plenty of donations to mark and organize and move out.

I’ve got a lot of laundry to get washed and put away as well. I’ve started setting stuff aside for the trip to Texas next Wednesday. MisterMoonbeam’s son is getting married. The luggage prices are different on each flight we are taking and it’s going to be a pain in the ass. I’ve got to try and use the least amount of bags. Never fun. I’m taking pretty much nothing but dresses that are in a similar color scheme so my pedicure matches and I don’t need a ton of different accessories. The dress I actually am wearing to the wedding needs a small alteration so I am waiting to hear from my friend to see if she has time to do that for me this week.

I need to message DarkKnight, so I am pausing here to do that right now. Done. Our refi person told us we were out of underwriting and the title work is complete last week. They were waiting on a payoff amount which we provided to them on Friday. I’m hoping we get settlement scheduled so we can be DONE with that messiness this month!

We are still looking at buildings. I saw part of one last week and we are waiting for an appointment to see the rest of it. There are like 4 occupied apartment rentals inside, so we have to get permission to view those parts. Maybe Thursday night?

I was supposed to get my hair done again tomorrow in preparation for the wedding, but my hairdresser called out due to Covid. This is like the 4th time she has had it in her household. I’m pretty aggravated because I need this teal stripped out. I wanted to be all natural so the color isn’t a distraction from the bride. It is really faded at this point but I still wanted it looking better than it is right now! I’m terrified to go to a new person because I don’t want it turning brittle, or yellowed from someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing! I might make some calls. I mean, I will.
I’m spending most of the day in bed today. I need rest.

Apparently we are BACK in underwriting because they need to approve the fact that there’s a lien for $5000 on our property. Which has been there since the beginning - it was a grant from the state of Maryland for first time home buyers that has to be repaid when you sell or refi. Not sure why it wasn’t okay originally? Idk. So we are stalled again. The mortgage person said it shouldn’t take long but they have to get it checked off the list. Sigh.

Yesterday was very busy. I did a brisk business in formula, and I had another organization sponsor 4 AC units. Those should be delivered today, I think. I also got a stroller for a disabled teen ($1000) and a bouncy seat for the same teen ($500) sponsored in full, without ever having to post about it. Pretty sweet! Oh, and there’s a 14 year old girl in hospice, and I found donors to fund rainbow curtain lights for her window, and two macrame swings so she and her sister can relax together. The stress is so worth it. ❤️

I am seriously exhausted. I need a shower though so I am trying to motivate myself out of this bed. I ordered in McDonalds for breakfast so that grease is slowing me down! I’m like ugggggh. I guess I should get some lunch at some point but I am not really hungry.

MisterMoonbeam has me all flustered! He pulled me off the bed and banged me from behind last night, and then this morning we had some play time and I got some cum on my tits. Then this afternoon I masturbated because I was getting myself excited about it.
I try! I literally start each day with 10-20 cans and then see how the day unravels. We seem to end the day with the same amount, just a different configuration! My donors are awesome.
Speaking of which, my formula cupboard looked like this at closing time today:


Over 50 cans! Crazy! I have more formula than some stores! Our most urgent need is still Similac Total Comfort (I have none) and Enfamil Gentlease. Both light purple. I also could use some Nutramigen. We will see how it goes this weekend.

DarkKnight just called and said he got told that our refi settlement date is June 10. So while I am in Texas, that will all be finished.
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Ugh so I was supposed to have a sleepover last night with SirGawain, but I was literally too exhausted to go. So we rescheduled for tonight. This morning he reaches out and says that he’s been exposed to Covid from a new hire at his work!

On one hand I am soooo very happy I skipped out on an exposure. MisterMoonbeam’s parents have a 50th anniversary dinner tomorrow, and I would have had to cancel if I had been with SirGawain last night. Also, my trip to Texas next week would have been in jeopardy!

On the other hand, FUCK! I miss my boyfriend! :( :( :(
MisterMoonbeam and I went to Virginia yesterday to celebrate his parents’ 50th wedding anniversary. I always have some trepidation about visiting, as they don’t know I’m married, and they have no idea that he’s been Poly over two decades. This time there was a little bit more apprehension, as his older brother was flying down from Michigan, with his wife and one of their daughters.

That said, I was also excited to meet some more of his family. MisterMoonbeam never had a super close relationship with his brother growing up, as they are a year and a half apart in age, and very different people. However, they’ve been talking more recently, and apparently after his wife passed away, MisterMoonbeam told his brother in person that he was polyamorous.

So that knowledge made me feel calmer. If his brother was aware that we were poly, then it was probably safe to assume that he shared that info with his wife. MisterMoonbeam also told me that he shared with his brother that I was married. I went into this trip feeling good that I could make a legit connection here.

It’s difficult for me when I am talking to others and they don’t know my life, my background. I am proud of my polycule, and the strong, supportive connections we have. When I am discussing plans or past events and I have to edit my words because “someone might find out!” it’s a big inhibitor. It also makes me a little angry, because fuck having to pretend I’m monogamous.

The get together went very well. No one “found out” and it was a good connection. On the way home, I asked MisterMoonbeam about adding his sister-in-law on Facebook, and he said to wait a bit so he could make sure his brother actually told her about my situation. He didn’t want her to be surprised if not - especially since they weren’t flying out until this afternoon.

Yeah, as it turns out, MisterMoonbeam did NOT tell his brother that I am polyamorous. He did not tell him that I was married. He didn’t mention that he lives with me and my husband, DarkKnight.

I was devastated last night. I can’t even begin to really describe the sadness I felt, the shame, and the betrayal I felt. Was MisterMoonbeam gaslighting me? I’m super sensitive to that sort of thing - I KNOW he told me that he shared my marital status with his brother. Now he was saying he didn’t!

I really was mostly upset about this fact, but not much of a secondary concern was the fear that now if this information is given, it would look like I was lying and withholding information. Like, I look really duplicitous! Why would MisterMoonbeam put me into this position?

Soon after he told me that he had never told his brother this info, I went downstairs to get dressed for bed and to try and work all this out in my head. I came back to his bedroom shortly thereafter and told him I needed to tell him how much this was messing with my head.

He told me he definitely never meant to gaslight me or lie - he really did think he had told his brother. He asked me what I wanted him to do to make it right. I said I just wanted his assurance that it wasn’t something he was trying to twist around and that he loved me and wouldn’t do that. So he gave me snuggles and said he was 100% not afraid to tell anyone that he loved me and that DarkKnight is his best friend. He said he was going to talk to his brother after they got back to Michigan.

Apparently his brother in the meantime had sent him a couple of messages. He said that MisterMoonbeam was lucky to have me, which was super sweet! He also said he wanted to find time to reconnect and share some news of his own that he couldn’t talk about in front of their parents!

So this has us speculating all sorts of things! MisterMoonbeam is wondering if they have left the church (they’re part of a very devout evangelical sect) or of one of their kids is LGBT. Or maybe they have an open relationship now or something?! We have talked about going there to visit and I guess we will see. We definitely can take a long weekend to do that.

This morning MisterMoonbeam saw that his brother had snooped around on his linked in page. Lol

I am feeling better, but I am still anxious about the family thinking that I was actively trying to deceive them. I really liked them, so this makes me sad. I hope it works out.
I’m getting anxious as tomorrow will be the first time I’ve been on an airplane in a few years! MisterMoonbeam and I are heading to Texas where his youngest son is getting married. We will be there Wednesday through Sunday.

I’m not packed at all. Ugh! I helped MisterMoonbeam get his stuff together, and we ended up at JCPenney last night as he needed to get some longer length shirts and some shorts. It’s supposed to be 100 degrees in Houston this week! Today it’s supposed to rain here, so I am waiting for that to happen so the Box isn’t busy and I can do my own packing. I know I need to get the washing machine going!

Here I am today:


Originally I was supposed to be wearing this on the plane, but I decided to not wear pants tomorrow and just stick to dresses the entire week. You can’t tell but I am also wearing a new bra that I bought for the trip - omg I am in love!

Also, this can serve as a final pic of my hair with faded AF teal hair. I have an appointment for 4:30 pm today to get it all stripped out and lightened back to just my natural silver. I don’t want any crazy colors for this wedding. When we get back, I’m going to get it colored rainbow for Pride, and then **maybe** go back to red. We will see!

I just had lunch outside on the patio with MisterMoonbeam, and he said his brother was messaging again about his news. His brother says he’s going to hold off sharing until after the wedding this weekend. We are both like whatttttttt can this possibly be?! Apparently MisterMoonbeam was saying how he is the black sheep of the family for just leaving the church, and his parents don’t know that he’s Poly and pagan as well. His brother is like well he will have that title now if his parents found out his news. Whattttt?! So it’s got to be more than just leaving the church! I can’t stand this not knowing. I only met this dude once and it’s making me crazy. 😂😂

Anyway, we do want to take a long weekend and visit this summer if we can. MisterMoonbeam wants to strengthen the connection because he’s never been close with his brother and wants to be. I was talking with him about logistics and he said he was just looking at flights to the Pacific NW. lol I love this man! My bucket list goal this year was traveling to see the redwoods, but honestly, I don’t think it’s going to work out well because we have lots of other stuff planned and we don’t know when we will find another building to buy. We are trying to keep the Fall open for trips at the moment because we could be buried in renovations.
So my afternoon changed up. It’s raining so I figured I’d be doing laundry and cleaning my house before we leave for Texas tomorrow. Instead, I’m in the north end of town helping someone who just got evicted. Their stuff is all over the lawn of this apartment complex.

Did I mention that it’s raining?

Someone is paying for a storage unit. Or they’re supposed to be. I’m sitting in my car while it gets figured out. The person who has stuff all over the lawn is disabled and has no money. It’s kinda chaotic.
7B83344B-527D-4CF7-880A-6F42DD1F9ECE.jpegHung up my flags yesterday!
You look so good, BlueBird!! Just popped in to see your latest, and I just love seeing your happy face, your beautiful family, and your thriving charity. And the O-line at the zoo - nobody was using it last time I was playing tourist in DC. :\ Happy travels!!
Our cash-out refinance is complete! DarkKnight signed the paperwork yesterday while I am in Texas with MisterMoonbeam. We should get a check next Wednesday. All we need now is a building to buy! Nothing we like or can afford is on the market right now.

So far Texas has been an interesting trip. MisterMoonbeam’s son (who is here from Arizona with his little family) is amazing. There is a lot of history there and MisterMoonbeam has regret and pain surrounding their relationship. It looks like the issues have been resolved overall and it is so wonderful to see! MisterMoonbeam’s granddaughter is the cutest little thing I have ever seen, next to MisterMoonbeam when he is watching her! He is itching to be a good grandpa!

Unfortunately, MisterMoonbeam’s son is heading to South Korea in September. If things go to plan, his wife and daughter will be going with him, so we might not see them for another 2 years. He is then scheduled to maybe go to Germany for 2 years after that. MisterMoonbeam is heartbroken - so I am determined to figure out how to get him to Arizona to see them all again before they leave. Our summer schedule is crazypants, but this needs to be a priority in my mind!

MisterMoonbeam’s other son is getting married today. We spent all day yesterday with the couple, helping them ready the community hall where the ceremony is taking place. We were told again and again that the mother of the bride had made all of the arrangements and everything was taken care of, but again and again, this was proven not to be the case. They had no decorations or centerpieces, no toasting glasses, no bubbles to send them off with later - if I made a list it would take all of my space here! Oh lord - MisterMoonbeam’s tux had no vest, no tie, no pocket square or shoes!! (Thursday night was an adventure, trying to locate those things!)

Hopefully all of the work we got done over the last couple of days will make today easy and stress free. MisterMoonbeam is leaving with his Arizona son (the best man) at 1 pm, and then I am driving his daughter-in-law and granddaughter to the event at 2 pm.

We fly back to Maryland tomorrow morning.
I got my period. Pretty much on time. I feel really bloated. Just ugh.

The wedding went okay yesterday, and I was definitely teary at points. Young love is so sweet to witness! It was also very moving to see MisterMoonbeam’s other son - I have a lot of photos where he is in the background, and he is staring at his own wife with only what I can describe is a sort of awe or rapture. When I saw that, I started seeking it out in the pictures. Man, this guy loves his woman! ❤️

I am writing this from the hotel lobby breakfast table. We have to leave the hotel by 7 am. It’s an hour drive to the Houston airport, and then we’ll be on a direct 3 hr + flight to Baltimore. I can’t wait to see DarkKnight!
Home again! I got to see SirGawain on the way back from the Baltimore Airport - we stopped in Frederick to eat some food. I was starving and exhausted. MisterMoonbeam and I fell asleep right after we got home! Funny thing is that we slept separately but both woke up at like 8:30 pm! DarkKnight made us both homemade vanilla milkshakes, and then we went back to bed. Lol

I missed DarkKnight so much! He read to me and it was like I never left. ❤️

I’m definitely opening the Box today, but I have a lot of financial planning to do as well. Pretty much this entire trip is on various credit cards and my bank account is LOW. MisterMoonbeam is going to even things out, but first I have to figure out how much we spent.

Then we have to plan the rest of the summer trips - we have 3 days of camping at the beginning of July paid for already, but we need to schedule the rest of that week to meet my sister’s family in Ocean City. Sir Gawain paid for a trip for he and I in the Outer Banks at the end of August, so I need to set aside funds for food and gas.

And now we have two trips to figure out dates for - MisterMoonbeam needs to go to Arizona to see his son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter again before they move to South Korea in September. (Air Force) And he wants to visit his brother in Michigan as well. I’m invited to both, but I’m uncertain about going to either as my own schedule is already full. We will see!

I also need to figure out the bills for this month. I don’t know what I’ve paid and what is still hanging out there. Sigh. We get our cash back from the house refinance on Wednesday, but I have no idea how long that check will take to hit the bank account!

I’m stressed about buying a building - we still aren’t finding anything we both like and can afford!
I didn't realize MisterMoonbeam had sons! Was his partner who passed away their mother, or were they from a previous relationship?
I didn't realize MisterMoonbeam had sons! Was his partner who passed away their mother, or were they from a previous relationship?
They are his stepsons - I believe they were 6 & 7 when he met their mom. He raised them as his own. Neither of their fathers were ever in the picture, for very different reasons (so I have been told). He has no biological children.

He is very excited and happy to be a grandfather - his oldest son’s daughter is almost 3. She is FREAKING ADORABLE. I bought three things off of the Amazon wish list they have for her on the way home yesterday, and they arrived in Arizona at their address today! That one day shipping is something else. Lol They actually made up a special name for us, as she has a local grandfather (who is actually MisterMoonbeam’s late wife’s father). They combined my name to form an entity- we are BluebirdPop (substitute my real first name for Bluebird). This made me feel really amazing. They don’t even know me and they included me in their little family. ❤️❤️

I really hope I can find the time to visit when MisterMoonbeam goes to see them again this summer. The more I look at dates though - I am just booked solid. :( We did talk about postponing the Michigan trip (to visit MisterMoonbeam’s brother & his family) until the Fall, but I don’t really feel like that will be any better. Right now my schedule is fairly open then, but when we find another building to buy, things could move quickly with that and I will have renovations and stuff to focus on.
Well today is my day off and I am tired. I spent the morning watching Lost World (MisterMoonbeam & I watched Jurassic Park last night) and I just finished Jurassic Park 3. I’m planning to watch all of them before seeing the new movie. I’d never seen 3, and I don’t think I’ve seen the others beyond that.

I did shower and head out to the title company this morning. I picked up the refi check! Lord it was a big fat 5 digit number - closer to 6 digits. I’d never seen one that large all at once which will be cash to us! I’ve been working on a list of shit we need to spend it on, but of course at least half of it will be the down payment on a building.

The economic development dude here in the city messaged me today with more buildings to look at. I’m pretty down because I feel like this is such an uphill battle to even find a property that will work, much less one we can afford. The zoning is really fucking us.

I got to have dinner and a hang out last night with my BFF. I had an online pickup at JCPenney (navy sandals) and she had to return a shirt at Torrid. I ended up buying a pair of black shorts there. I feel weird in them - I just don’t wear shorts too often! I needed a pair for my Pride outfit. (I’m really excited about that!) She also came along to the grocery store so I could buy wet cat food. It’s still difficult to find it in some places!

DarkKnight asked me on a date for this Friday to go to dinner and see a play. It’s a show centered around a D&D story! Should be interesting. My BFF and her new boyfriend are going to attend with us. I think I might have mentioned that this is her first foray into polyamory- he’s married and it’s been really rough. He and his wife are in counseling to work through it. I am friendly with this couple, so it saddens me to see them struggling. I am excited to go on a double date though!

I should be getting ready right now to go to Martinsburg. My kids bought me a gift certificate for Mother’s Day and I am getting a 45-minute long massage and an hour in a salt cave. I need it - my body still hurts from Spirit Airlines’ idea of what a seat is on their plane Sunday afternoon. I will never fly that airline again!