Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

Writing from NY! I’m planning to turn around and go home tomorrow, but we’ll see. I am going to have brunch with my nephew and see my sister at some point. I just bought my mom groceries and I’m waiting for her to get it all put away and then we are going out to dinner - she wants KFC and I wanna cry because I don’t want that. Lol We just had it a couple of nights ago.
 
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So lots of stress happening here now! My mom very much wants to move to Maryland and live with BugGirl and BeanBoy. I spoke to both of them again and they are both amenable to it. My mom was so excited that she told the property manager where she lives that she’s putting in her notice! I’m like, ma, I haven’t moved out yet myself and we aren’t even pre-qualified for a residential property!

Right now we have guaranteed private financing for a mixed use commercial space downtown. That’s TOTALLY different than a conventional or FHA loan for a residential property! The pressure I started feeling when dealing with this situation was immense. I pumped the brakes as best I could. Honestly, it didn’t matter because it’s not like my family can force me to move!

That said, things are really bad for my mom. When I drove to the calling hours, I got there in time for those and then stayed for the service, but ducked out on the reception. When I arrived at my mom’s she was crying uncontrollably because my brother had just left. When she told him she was moving to Maryland, he apparently got very aggressive and was screaming at her that she would never see her grandchildren again and that she was a shit mom to abandon him to homelessness.

He’s 37. He said he wouldn’t help her move and that she should instead move out and get an apartment with him. OMG RIGHT. She was browbeaten to take out a personal loan for him a couple of years ago (which we found out after) that she can’t afford and she pays $120/month on. All of it went to him and she said he only had to pay half. He’s paid NOTHING, not one dollar and she struggles to pay it in full every month. Yet, he’s suddenly going to be paying $1000 and more for his half of a rental and utilities? She is in rent control right now and only pays $385 with everything included. No fucking way can she afford to bump up to paying everything in a shared space. It’s ridiculous- she doesn’t even get that much in social security!

She’s legit terrified of him. But at the same time, she is making excuses and saying he just needs help. I think she sees she’s enabling his nonsense but I am not at all sure if she really is strong enough to leave. I want to report him for elder abuse but she is having none of that.

He’s spending 5/7 nights at her senior-only apartment and she’s in very real danger of being evicted. She got a warning letter a year or so ago on a previous violation with this but then he left and was staying in a motel. Now he’s back and it’s escalated. She thinks though that now that she’s told the office she is leaving, they might not give her another letter and just let it work itself out.

Sigh. So I had breakfast the next morning with my sister and nephew. At no time did my brother show his face. My sister is very happy that I am here to save the day! Ugh. I hate being the oldest. I definitely feel the burden of that.

So, I left after the meal and headed back home. It sucked driving alone but I was fielding lots of phone calls so that made it go by faster, I suppose. By the time I got home, I had spoken to our realtor about switching up what we’re looking for, and she set up a Sunday morning appointment to look at a property that looks near-perfect for us.

MisterMoonbeam paid for his credit scores and they were okay. Not perfect, but okay. Then I also was able to speak to the mortgage broker that helped us with the house we live in now. I explained that we were interested in getting at least pre-qualified and she did that with me over the phone and emailed me the steps for a pre-approval.

Well, by 10 pm last night we had a pre-approval. So we are relieved at least that first step is done! MisterMoonbeam was very anxious but excited - he’s never bought a house before and he’s actually going to be carrying this mortgage himself. We decided that DarkKnight owns this house we have now, so there should be some security for MisterMoonbeam as well by having him own a property too.

This is a big change to our plans, as DarkKnight was going to buy the commercial property alone through the LLC we formed. Now I’m not sure what will happen to that company. I need to meet with our accountant next week and see what the next step is with that. It’s January so I have to pay for the annual registration on the company at least.

We also need to have a real in-depth conversation and then get with our attorney and have a powwow about structuring this setup. I am not on any mortgage or deed and if either of my nesting partners passed, I would be fucked. MisterMoonbeam said he wants me on the deed so I get the new house if he died, but that if he and I died like in a car accident together, he wants to make sure DarkKnight is good as well. In the current house situation, we need to reassess and get me on the deed here, but we would want it to go to BugGirl after that, as the current plan is to have her purchase it from us in 5 years. I’m not sure what this means because MisterMoonbeam’s adult step kids need to be considered as well, though his life insurance pays out to them right now already, along with me. We need to make sure it’s all fair and legal.

This is too much - I was absolutely exhausted when I fell asleep at 10:30 pm last night. I woke up at 3 am and had a conversation with SirGawain about the preapproval and he was helping me figure out how much house MisterMoonbeam can *really* afford, because what the bank says and what we actually want to pay are two different things.

SirGawain sent me some other real estate listings and then dropped off, and now I am here writing this up. I am so fucking tired. There is more going on with our paperwork that I need to address - MisterMoonbeam is taking a chunk of his 401(k) for the down payment and it’s a huge amount of money. He currently has two loans out already so we might have to pay off one of the loans to do this. Which I don’t have just laying around, but maybe we could take it from our LLC? We have several thousands in that account that have never been touched, as we didn’t buy a commercial property. I don’t even know how to withdraw money from a business. Is that okay? Or would we need to dissolve the LLC to access that? Honestly, if we aren’t buying a building then the LLC has no purpose. I don’t know how to do that either. Gah! Well I will be meeting with our accountant next week - I just need to get them to call me back!

This is how my life goes. Ass-over-teakettle and I’m floundering, but then I refocus and move forward. In this case, I think we have a direction, but we now need to stop and talk A LOT tomorrow. At least this is viable, well it seems viable, at the moment.

I need more sleep.
 
What I think I'm hearing is that your idea of a cat cafe in a multi-purpose building, where you and your 2 guys will reside, plus run the Blessing Box out of, is now dead. I know you had a hard time finding the right kind of building for that.

So now, you want to buy and move to another house so that your son, daughter and mother can live in the house you're currently in? And you want to get on the mortgage of at least one of your homes (current and future) so that you'd automatically own it outright if one of your guys passed away...?
 
Yep. All that is correct.

My cat cafe dream isn’t dead though. We have every intention of starting one in the Fall. It will just be a leased space. My main issue with the building idea being dead has always been the Blessing Box - landlords don’t want to deal with some of my clients visiting. So owning the building would have solved that issue. A cat cafe isn’t going to bring in the same people, if that makes sense.

But the all in one building idea is not working, in spite of the city’s economic development dude trying to help us find a location. There just is no inventory available that isn’t either overpriced or collapsing. At this point I’ve been searching for a year and now I’m needing to move. We can’t afford two properties, no matter how they are financed!

Also, I wouldn’t own a property outright following a death - I’d just have rights of survivorship. I think that’s what it’s called. So I can keep paying on the mortgage and not be booted out? I’m not sure of how that all works. We need to figure it out.

Our plan since last year was to have my two oldest kids assume the mortgage on DarkKnight’s house, and have BugGirl purchase it. She very much wants to do that and we want that for her. Our mortgage there is cheaper than rent in our town, and she’s actually already living with us - she has been for a year.
 
Lots going on. We went to an open house on Saturday that had us liking it but not in love. It was a hundred grand less than our max but it was too small, really.

Sunday, our realtor showed us two properties - one was a farmette that we liked but it was at the top of our price range, and the other was actually TWO houses on one property, that we disliked. We went home, had some discussion, and then we popped out to an open house, for another property at the top of our price range next to a lake. That one had a bad paint job inside and was really way too much space in places we couldn’t really utilize it all.

Afterward, our realtor showed us a duplex that was near where I used to rent in this city, but though it was beautiful, there was zero room for growth. Like, we could never get a new hobby. Lol Afterward, our realtor asked us to make a list of places we wanted to see in the upcoming week, and she promised to devote all of Friday to going with us to view stuff. So my bestie came over (finally negative for Covid, yay!) and we spent the entire evening looking at properties on my laptop, which was hooked up to my TV.

Monday was extremely busy for me at the Box but I sent the list out in the morning. As the day winded down, I realized I really really wanted to see this one house, and so I texted the realtor and asked if she could make it happen that evening. She could! DarkKnight and MisterMoonbeam were able to go and we LOVED IT. It hit every requirement and it was gorgeous. Like, look at this:

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It’s a sprawling ranch home that is in the nice part of town, with a very 70s vibe. We all love the aesthetic and the layout is perfect! Not only does it have the prettiest Japanese garden, but a gorgeous back deck and pergola. The sunroom is a space I could die in. I am figuring that I will need to buy a turban with a big glittery jewel, a silk kimono and a cigarette holder. I don’t smoke but go with me on this - it will be fabulous. OMG

I also would have my own bedroom again. The master suite is stupid huge and the bathroom has a jacuzzi tub. I’m excited about that, for sure. There’s a fucking SAUNA in the basement. Both my guys will have their own large bedroom and an office space too. The entire house is over 4,000 sq ft and there’s also an exercise room that rivals the size of one in a hotel.

This is absolutely a dream home. I think we are all kind of freaking out right now. It’s pricey, so if we get into a bidding war we will lose. I feel confident, but cautious. DarkKnight is always calm about everything. MisterMoonbeam is barely holding it together - I think he might have a nervous breakdown. I gave him lots of pets and scritches on his back tonight while we made a list of who he has to talk to tomorrow to figure out paperwork.

He says he’s having some survivor’s guilt - his late wife would always make him look at houses that he knew they couldn’t qualify for or afford. He said he never got excited because he knew it was a dream they couldn’t make come true because their finances were garbage and their credit was no good. Now here he is, a few years after her death, and he’s buying a house - a house they never would have considered - and he’s already been approved and things are actually looking positive.

He says he also feels scared because of his imposter’s syndrome. He gets it often at work because he feels like any minute they will “figure out” he isn’t any good. When he started making over $100,000 at first, he was like, why??, and then when his raises and bonuses started cranking that up, he was even more in disbelief.

I’m like, sweetie, you are fucking amazing and deserve every bit of the good stuff coming your way! He said he never would have gotten to this point without me as his partner and I think he is sorta right and sorta wrong. Like, I’ve been helping him with his past bills and getting those in order and also structuring his current paychecks and making sure he doesn’t blow them in bullshit. If I didn’t start that, he would still be a mess and not in the position to do this. But any concerned partner could have steered him correctly. Building credit is not rocket science.

I am hoping that we will get to go and see this house again tomorrow. I think we will write an offer Wednesday if everything looks good still. This is all happening so fast!

It’s interesting because we moved from a 6 bedroom, 3.5 bath house in the north end (after 6 years there) and deliberately downsized to a 3 bed/2 bath house in the south end. Now (after 6 years here) we are maybe going to a 4 bed/4 bath house back in the north end again!
 
We visited the house again Tuesday night and this time LittleMichigan and her boyfriend met us there, and so did my bestie. We submitted an offer and now we wait!

So many windows! I am not looking forward to the heating bill, but the amount of light here is GLORIOUS.

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I think I mentioned that the house has a sauna?! Of course, I can’t use it because I’m allergic to my own sweat. 😂 When LittleMichigan was viewing the property, she went inside and said she was going to be over every day!

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I’m actually a little embarrassed at how large the house is, but the spaciousness is what sold us. There’s a hallway along the entire front wall of the place and my cats are going to have a blast running from one end of the house to the other. This is the front entryway. The inside of the the double front doors have metal (brass?) push plates.

I’m not a fan of wood paneling, but this is the only piece on the main floor, and I love it! Such a cute accent wall right when you walk in! I’m excited to find a big macrame piece or metal sculpture to hang where the current owner has the mirror now. I’m thinking something space related, if we go with a piece of metal wall art. MisterMoonbeam suggested a tree of life, which I would be cool with!

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I’m fantasizing about making a home here and it’s nice to do. I hope our offer is accepted! If not, we will move on - there is plenty to see and we will find another house.

That said, our closing is set for March 17! That means we’d be moving in super fucking quick! I haven’t packed anything yet - I mean, this time last week we weren’t looking to move into a residential house. Ahhhh!
 
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It's friggin' beautiful!
 
So we submitted an offer Tuesday night and the seller countered yesterday afternoon. We went back and forth with them (well, our realtors did) but there was an agreement last night and MisterMoonbeam signed at 10 pm. Hopefully we will get the seller signature this morning. We then have 7 days for inspection.

I’m still confused about the way the property was showcased online. Their photos are terrible! Like, this is the master bedroom online - a single picture:

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This is the actual master bedroom:

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It’s the size of some apartments! Why would you do such a disservice to your space? Honestly, this entire place is massive but we downsized so much when we bought our current house - on purpose. Now we are scaling back up.

I’m getting excited. Let’s goooo!
 
We’re still waiting for a response from the seller. Apparently their realtor is on a plane to India right now? I’m like, come on! Our realtor says though that we can go ahead and call around to set up the property inspection next week, but I said I want to see the signed paperwork on their end first!

We got an email from our mortgage broker this morning that the seller reached out late last night to check that MisterMoonbeam was really pre-approved and not just pre-qualified. They seem really paranoid and we’re wondering if their prior offer that fell apart did so because of financing.

Our broker says she reassured the seller as best she could within the law constraints, that not only was MisterMoonbeam preapproved, but they had reviewed his w2s, confirmed his cash to close, had pulled his credit and had his most recent pay stubs as well. So the automated underwriting program was happy, and there was no reason to believe he was unable to move forward. She said they seemed happy with that.

Prior to that encounter, upon receipt of our last counteroffer, the seller out of nowhere demanded that MisterMoonbeam send proof of his down payment. We were like what? Our bank accounts are none of your business! We capitulated with most of the info scratched out, but it was kind of like, whatever happened previously is making them a little bit over the top right now!

Now we are just waiting. I’m not sure what else they want from us. We actually compromised their way on almost everything - we wanted 14 days for inspections, they wanted 7, we agreed to 7. They wanted us to know they weren’t fixing anything found in the inspection and we’d have to be okay with a pass/fail, and we agreed to that. (They’re in another state already so it’s understandable.) They they said they didn’t want to pay for full closing costs and we are now paying a chunk of our own. Then they wanted us to up the earnest money down from $1000 to $5000, which made no fucking sense, to be honest, because that money is held by the title company and comes back to us at closing. But we agreed to do $4,000. So their realtor said last night that they were going to sign…but nothing has happened so far.

I will be bummed if this falls through but I’d have a lot of confusion because I have no idea why. It’s like they don’t want to sell the house, but uh, they’ve already moved so wtf. I’m figuring it’s just that they took the house off the market for 2 months previously for the other offer and then had the deal fall through, so they’re shy of doing that again.

I’m about over the back and forth though. Can we just get this shit signed so we can move forward?

I’m exhausted today, emotionally and physically.
 
OMG I was angry AF last night - I was so incredibly frustrated with this process! The seller’s realtor finally responded after saying all day that the contract would be ratified, only to send us another counteroffer at 10:30 pm. I was pissed and ready to walk. I went to bed and told MisterMoonbeam to do what he wanted.

The things the seller wanted made zero sense. They changed our application time from 7 days to 5 days - what? We couldn’t really proceed with that until after the 7 days we would be working on the inspection! And uh, as our lender had told them, the application was just waiting for the property information to be added and we were good to go and start the underwriting process. Why change this? They also struck through some verbiage that was an actual protection for them, and then they crossed out that our inspector was able to touch personal property and actually wrote out that he couldn’t lay hands on anything in the house that belonged personally to them.

This is where I was like what in the fuck? This to me screams that they are hiding something. Like, we can’t move a piece of furniture to look at a wall, or pull up an area rug to trace a crack? Fuck you, I was done with that sort of nonsense - especially since we had conceded already to reduce the time on the inspections. I went to bed as I was done entertaining nonsense.

Well by this morning apparently MisterMoonbeam had got everything worked out. Our lender said the seller’s mother had actually been involved with this. Anyway, she said that the seller’s mom used to be a lawyer and decided she needed to be involved in the process and this was the result - but she had talked to her and the mother asked about all sorts of real estate concerns that had nothing to do with our contract, and some sort of nonsense about processes that were no longer done.

Whatever. The end result is that our contract is now ratified and the house is ours if we can make it to close with these crazy sellers. MisterMoonbeam and I are going there Sunday to take measurements, and our realtor is taking pictures of every single thing that she thinks the inspector may need to touch in order to properly inspect the property, and then send all of the photos to the seller’s realtor, to get preapproval of moving them. She says that apparently there are “valuables” in the house and the seller’s mother is concerned that we will be digging for them?

It’s ridiculous. We’re giving these sellers a shit ton of money! Fuck that noise. Our agent says not to worry though because it will work out. I’m still aggravated now while writing this, but our inspection is scheduled for Monday morning, and then Wednesday the inspector will be back to pick up the radon testing. He says there will be zero problems with getting his report before our required finish date by Friday. So yay, I guess.

We all like this house very much, so I suppose we are going to put up with this nonsense. At this point, I’m like, as long as we can get it done, IDGAF. The back and forth of the counteroffers stole a lot of my joy, and my period started yesterday, so I was more emotional than usual. By this afternoon I was much better, and I felt much more positive about everything.

I got a new Stitch Fix box, and my stylist had sent me exactly what I asked for - a little black dress and some new jeans. I went down a size due to my weight loss, so I was excited to try on size 16s. I wore a new pair to my Valentine’s Date night tonight with DarkKnight, along with a new shirt, and by the time I got home, I was happy to take them off and stuff them in the return bag! The jeans were falling off of me! They were Liverpool brand Lucy bootcut jeans and they really were disappointing.

Too big jeans & shirt:

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The thing is, the dress also didn’t fit, and the shirt was scratchy, full of static, PLUS somehow both too big and too short at the same time. There are a pair of leggings that I am also returning. I will probably end up keeping the other jeans, but damn. I was sad that almost everything is a return! Though I am supposed to not be spending money on clothes!

The date though was great! DarkKnight and I went to my favorite restaurant for Indian food, and then we went to a furniture store and did some window shopping for the new house. (I’m going to be buying a king size bed for the master suite and new dining room furniture.) Then we went and saw a live performance of Romeo & Juliette at the Maryland Theater. It was a good time together, and he rubbed my hand and snuggled up with me the entire show. ❤️

What else can I share about today? Back on the subject of the house - oh yeah around 10 am (I think) our lender called and asked about putting me on the deed, but apparently that would require an addendum to the contract, which the seller would have to sign. We were like, oh god we really don’t want to open up another can of worms and start yet ANOTHER back and forth! But we had them send it and that part actually went smoothly, thank goodness.

The other good thing is that we have decided to give the house a name. Our poly friends in Virginia did that and it sounded so nice! They recently bought another house and moved and gave that place a name as well. I couldn’t come up with anything at first but then it was a no brainer!

I have an Animal Oracle deck that is VERY attuned to me - I get good advice and readings from this like I never have with anything else. I was shuffling it yesterday and a card fell out of the deck - the blackbird - and I annoyingly shoved it back in and did a 3-card pull. It was all about the Otherworld and change and it was ambiguous, so I decided to be more specific and did another reading. Again, it was all about change and trusting my strength and decisions. When I was putting the cards away, one fell out again - and it was the blackbird!

This felt very targeted and I got really still, and spent a bit reading all about the card and its meaning. Until this happening, I honestly didn’t know the deck even HAD a blackbird. So I stopped to listen. What did it mean? Basically, it boiled down to just don’t make a decision - act on it. And that all of my current issues will work themselves out; I need to trust the process. We got this.

Yeah, this more than anything reversed my topsy turvy feelings. My life works out. It always does. It will continue to move forward and I will experience more happiness than aggravation. Y’all, it was such a good, positive feeling to be reminded of this fact! I knew then that I needed to name this house Blackbird Manor.

Then, when I talked to MisterMoonbeam about it, he asked if I had seen the nest. I’m like what? He said there’s a nest in the bushes by the front door of the property. I’m like - what? I had to ask if he were messing with me. He said he wasn’t sure what sort of bird made it, but there was a very real, very beautiful nest right at our door.

I’m now convinced that things are happening as they should. Maybe this house won’t be ours, but right now I’m good with seeing how things work out. 4 bedrooms - 4 bathrooms - 4,442 square feet - did I mention that 4 is my favorite number? This is where I am supposed to be.

🎶 Blackbird singing in the dead of night,
Take these broken wings and learn to fly.
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise 🎶


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Today MisterMoonbeam completed the application “officially” - and the lender let our realtor know so she could let the seller’s realtor know. So much for them cutting us down to 5 days to get it done. It was pretty easy.

We’re going to the property tomorrow to measure all of the rooms, and so BugGirl can see it. MisterMoonbeam’s parents are coming up from Virginia to see it in person too. This is stressful because they asked us to attend church with them, and MisterMoonbeam has a lot of childhood trauma with their church. He feels guilty saying no, but it’s important that he can say no. He loves his mom and wants to say yes, but there’s so much emotion wrapped up in a service that he really can’t attend.

The other thing that is causing us both anxiety is that they don’t know he’s polyamorous, or that I’m married. His mom asked him on the phone last week if he’s going to marry me - and he told her “not yet.” He told me afterward that I can let that marinate in my mind and let that answer fester in my brain. 😂 I guess she was like, well you’re buying a house - are you getting married soon? Lol I actually think that’s sweet.

Anyway, DarkKnight won’t be going to the house tomorrow, and tonight I was like, uh, we can’t bring them back to THIS house afterward! He’s like, oh shit. Lol It will be too early for dinner, so we decided to call them tonight and tell them we have plans right after they see the house, and would they like to meet up for lunch before instead? Whew. MisterMoonbeam says he doesn’t mind if they find out, but he’d rather not rock their foundation, especially when we’re already in the middle of a stressful process ourselves.

Here’s more house porn - the master bathroom is ginormous. Apparently it went through an update in the 80s, so the very first thing we plan to do in the house is tear down the wallpaper and paint, remove the valences, update all of the fixtures and shower door, and see if we can change part of the huge L of cupboards into a makeup vanity. I’m super excited to make this look amazing and have it be functional for me. I’m in love with the jetted tub and can’t wait to spend evenings in there with a book!

I don’t have a color scheme in mind yet, so if anyone has suggestions, I’m open to ideas. I want it to flow with the master bedroom, and since I own zero furniture in there yet, I am excited!

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Today we attended a poly group get-together in the next town over - me, my bestie, MisterMoonbeam AND DarkKnight. I spoke to the guys beforehand and we talked about how they were not going to be hanging out with me - or off of me - the entire time. MiaterMoonbeam had done that at a kinky munch and it made me feel uncomfortable. We are there to meet new people, you know?

I spent more than half the time teaching strangers Crokinole, and it was super fun. It was funny, this nice guy came up and was like “Crokinole?! Oh my god, my partner is going to freak out when she gets here and sees this?!” He told me she was in love with the game and was very competitive. I was excited about that, and then the partner came in, and I had to laugh out loud for real because I had been chatting with this woman for at least two weeks and she first contacted me about Crokinole. So OF COURSE it was her. Lol I actually knew she was coming to this event but for some reason when this dude was talking to me, I had blanked on that.

I played two games with them, and later, the guy came and asked me if I would play a game of Splendor with them. I ended up tying for the win with the woman, so that was cool. She and I are now Facebook friends. I would definitely be interested in talking more with either of them. They had a nice, easy going vibe about them.

There was another couple there that I played Crokinole with who seemed great, but I met them early on and didn’t talk to them beyond the game board.

I didn’t realize that the name tags were color coded - I inadvertently chose the color that meant I wasn’t looking for partners. If I had known I would have chosen the one that meant I was open but sort of ambivalent. There’s too much going on right now for new relationships but oh I would love to have a woman in my life!

SirGawain didn’t show up at the event - he was in a non-serious car accident on the way over. No one was hurt, but his new car now is missing a mirror and has some dents. He merged into a lane on the highway and another car was in his blind spot. It could have been much worse! He went back home after dealing with the police. and told us not to come over, as he was shaken up. I was bummed not to see him. It’s his birthday today and we had bought a cake and had ice cream here, and we were going to a sushi restaurant.

Instead we went home after the event and then took a walk around another furniture store, before grabbing rotisserie chicken for dinner. We canceled our Zombicide night because we were all pretty beat.
 
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OMG I was angry AF last night - I was so incredibly frustrated with this process! The seller’s realtor finally responded after saying all day that the contract would be ratified, only to send us another counteroffer at 10:30 pm. I was pissed and ready to walk. I went to bed and told MisterMoonbeam to do what he wanted.

The things the seller wanted made zero sense. They changed our application time from 7 days to 5 days - what? We couldn’t really proceed with that until after the 7 days we would be working on the inspection! And uh, as our lender had told them, the application was just waiting for the property information to be added and we were good to go and start the underwriting process. Why change this? They also struck through some verbiage that was an actual protection for them, and then they crossed out that our inspector was able to touch personal property and actually wrote out that he couldn’t lay hands on anything in the house that belonged personally to them.

This is where I was like what in the fuck? This to me screams that they are hiding something. Like, we can’t move a piece of furniture to look at a wall, or pull up an area rug to trace a crack? Fuck you, I was done with that sort of nonsense - especially since we had conceded already to reduce the time on the inspections. I went to bed as I was done entertaining nonsense.

Well by this morning apparently MisterMoonbeam had got everything worked out. Our lender said the seller’s mother had actually been involved with this. Anyway, she said that the seller’s mom used to be a lawyer and decided she needed to be involved in the process and this was the result - but she had talked to her and the mother asked about all sorts of real estate concerns that had nothing to do with our contract, and some sort of nonsense about processes that were no longer done.

Whatever. The end result is that our contract is now ratified and the house is ours if we can make it to close with these crazy sellers. MisterMoonbeam and I are going there Sunday to take measurements, and our realtor is taking pictures of every single thing that she thinks the inspector may need to touch in order to properly inspect the property, and then send all of the photos to the seller’s realtor, to get preapproval of moving them. She says that apparently there are “valuables” in the house and the seller’s mother is concerned that we will be digging for them?

It’s ridiculous. We’re giving these sellers a shit ton of money! Fuck that noise. Our agent says not to worry though because it will work out. I’m still aggravated now while writing this, but our inspection is scheduled for Monday morning, and then Wednesday the inspector will be back to pick up the radon testing. He says there will be zero problems with getting his report before our required finish date by Friday. So yay, I guess.

We all like this house very much, so I suppose we are going to put up with this nonsense. At this point, I’m like, as long as we can get it done, IDGAF. The back and forth of the counteroffers stole a lot of my joy, and my period started yesterday, so I was more emotional than usual. By this afternoon I was much better, and I felt much more positive about everything.

I got a new Stitch Fix box, and my stylist had sent me exactly what I asked for - a little black dress and some new jeans. I went down a size due to my weight loss, so I was excited to try on size 16s. I wore a new pair to my Valentine’s Date night tonight with DarkKnight, along with a new shirt, and by the time I got home, I was happy to take them off and stuff them in the return bag! The jeans were falling off of me! They were Liverpool brand Lucy bootcut jeans and they really were disappointing.

Too big jeans & shirt:

View attachment 4067

The thing is, the dress also didn’t fit, and the shirt was scratchy, full of static, PLUS somehow both too big and too short at the same time. There are a pair of leggings that I am also returning. I will probably end up keeping the other jeans, but damn. I was sad that almost everything is a return! Though I am supposed to not be spending money on clothes!

The date though was great! DarkKnight and I went to my favorite restaurant for Indian food, and then we went to a furniture store and did some window shopping for the new house. (I’m going to be buying a king size bed for the master suite and new dining room furniture.) Then we went and saw a live performance of Romeo & Juliette at the Maryland Theater. It was a good time together, and he rubbed my hand and snuggled up with me the entire show. ❤️

What else can I share about today? Back on the subject of the house - oh yeah around 10 am (I think) our lender called and asked about putting me on the deed, but apparently that would require an addendum to the contract, which the seller would have to sign. We were like, oh god we really don’t want to open up another can of worms and start yet ANOTHER back and forth! But we had them send it and that part actually went smoothly, thank goodness.
The house stuff sounds crazy! glad to hear its going well and hopefully all is on track though. I had a similar experience a few months back where the seller had another offer in and wanted both of us to go through all the lagal fees and inspections and work and whoever got it done faster would get to buy it and they'd consider refunding the loser. They were totally insane, they were also asking for a refundable deposit on top of the actual downpayment which they would hold until completion. It was crazy!
 
The house stuff sounds crazy! glad to hear its going well and hopefully all is on track though. I had a similar experience a few months back where the seller had another offer in and wanted both of us to go through all the lagal fees and inspections and work and whoever got it done faster would get to buy it and they'd consider refunding the loser. They were totally insane, they were also asking for a refundable deposit on top of the actual downpayment which they would hold until completion. It was crazy!
That’s absolutely nutters. Things seem to be going smoother now. We were able to be in at the property today and BugGirl & her boyfriend were able to come and see it. MisterMoonbeam & I met up with his parents as planned for lunch, and then we drove to the property so they could see it as well.

MisterMoonbeam’s dad has been retired for 20 years, but he was once a property inspector, so he went through the home and pointed out some stuff to us, but nothing was scary, so that was good!

Tomorrow morning is the official property inspection, and we are doing a radon test as well. All of that should be back by Friday.

I made a chart on a big post-it note sheet and stuck it to our fireplace listing our packing schedule. If everything stays on track, we will be moving on April 1st. So that’s 8 weeks to pack up this entire house. I want to cry thinking about it omg. However, there’s now a schedule and I’m pretty good with those. Lol This week we need to pack our camping closet and the sunporch.

I also need to do my son’s taxes, so he can have his refund before HIS moving day, which is the week after we move. The weather is supposed to be okay this week so I am also hoping to organize the Blessing Box storage unit on Wednesday, so it can be ready for a Baby Day event in March. I probably won’t be holding one of my own, but we take all the leftovers from a local consignment sale.

SirGawain wants to go see a Sword Art Online movie, so that will probably be happening Tuesday night. Saturday I will be in Virginia with MisterMoonbeam for our Valentine’s Day.

This week is FULL. My bestie is coming over tomorrow night. We took a class last week and have another on Wednesday night on knitting and neither of us have done any of the stitches as assigned to us so we are going to knock them out tomorrow.
 
The official home inspection went well, thank goodness. There were lots of little things but nothing that would kill the deal. The written report should be here by tonight and the guy is picking up the radon test on Wednesday with results expected Thursday.

The lender is requiring a wood-boring insect inspection, so that is being done Wednesday morning.

A huge weight has been lifted as the inspection was the biggest worry I had. I mean, I’m still stressed, but I somehow feel that was the biggie. I need a massage though because the stress between my shoulders is going to crack my back in half, it’s so damn tight!
 
Some days I really need to grab MisterMoonbeam and SHAKE him. OMG

Last night I suddenly had a thought that I had just believed him when he said we only needed $17,000 to close on our house, and that we’d have $13,000 to spend on projects and furniture. (We have $30,000 total budgeted.) Thank god I pulled the estimate and looked because we needed $23,000 to close, and we are giving his parents back the $4,000 they are gifting us for expenses leading up til then. So that means I have $3,000 for furniture and projects and that’snotgoingtohappenwhatthefuckdude.

So I had a mild freak out and spent an hour moving money around on paper and trying to breathe! When MisterMoonbeam woke up from his nap (he was exhausted emotionally from the inspection) I had to tell him he had messed up. He was flustered, but agreed he had made a mistake. However, he reminded me that we would be getting the earnest deposit back, so that could go to paying his parents back.
So things weren’t as dire, but I have an ongoing and always growing list of items we need to get for the new house, so every bit helps. Thank goodness I checked!

Then today, he came outside while I was working, pleased as punch to tell me that he got a home owners insurance quote and it was sooo cheap and it was going to cost $4700 less than the amount on the estimate sheet. I’m like, wow sweetie, that’s fucking amazing. He went back inside, all proud, and he contacted our lender to give them the information.

I went in a short while later and he told me that actually, he was comparing the home owner’s quote to the mortgage insurance premium payment, and apparently they weren’t the same thing, and the home owner’s quote was actually double the estimate on the sheet. 😆 Seriously, I love this man but he definitely needs some guidance on this stuff!

I explained to him the difference, and he said he was going to start calling around for new quotes. He eventually got it to within $3 of the estimate, so we’re good, but omg in the beginning there we would have been overpaying a bunch.

Today my daughter BugGirl has been blowing up my phone with questions about possibly doing more remodeling in the basement. She wants to put some carpet and some walls down there. Once we move out she will be assuming our mortgage, so she can do what she wants! But I was already overwhelmed, so the back and forth about square footage, pricing and blueprints was making my head spin!

I also talked to my mom this morning and gave her updates. She seemed calmer today so that was good. I’m waiting to speak to my sister about the process of moving our
Mom down here - I am hoping her boyfriend will rent and drive the truck down. I’m also hoping to cut the number of trips I personally have to take to NY to just one, instead of two.

The inspection report was better than I had hoped. We had like 9 electrical issues listed, but none were major - the first one was that many outlets were missing cover plates. We plan to paint and replace them all with fresh white ones so that wasn’t even an issue for us! We have a couple of dead outlets in the garage, and two closets have lights inside that are “handyman specials” with wire running down the outside of the wall that need to be redone. I messaged my friend who owns an electrical company and he said he could take care of everything on the list for $300-$500. He will give me a firm quote once he sees the stuff in person. I’m like YES that’s very affordable!

Anyway, there were no major findings, and the other things that were listed are all items that won’t be expensive and we can handle after closing. The only thing that has us going HOLY SHIT is that we have two hot water heaters - my master bathroom jacuzzi tub has its own hot water heater, which is great news, because it’s so deep it takes like 20 minutes to fill. It’s fine, but the main hot water heater is 32 years old! We are like, are you for real? They have about an 11 year life span, on average. The inspector said he’s shocked too, but even more so that it’s running great and doing its job with no issues.

So uh, that’s getting done before we move in. I mean, it’s clearly magical but holy crap. 😂
 
As someone who now works insurance, I got licensed as a P&C insurance adjuster 18 months ago, please check your homeowners coverage. Cheaper policies mean less coverage. Also make sure you have the proper riders for the unusual situations.

My house which I bought for less than a new car is insured for 250,000k. Why because my house still has all the beautiful Victorian woodwork, hardwood floors, and solid wood doors. If something happens to my home I want things replaced with solid wood not particle board doors and pressed saw dust.
 
As someone who now works insurance, I got licensed as a P&C insurance adjuster 18 months ago, please check your homeowners coverage. Cheaper policies mean less coverage. Also make sure you have the proper riders for the unusual situations.

My house which I bought for less than a new car is insured for 250,000k. Why because my house still has all the beautiful Victorian woodwork, hardwood floors, and solid wood doors. If something happens to my home I want things replaced with solid wood not particle board doors and pressed saw dust.
I made sure he knew to ask for replacement value on the house. I wouldn’t do anything less!
 
Another checkmark on the to-do list is complete! I met the Pest Control guy out at the new house today and he says we are all clear. The mortgage lender requires a bug inspection, and the inspector says there is no wet wood, no wings or bug parts in evidence, and things look great!

We had concerns about some holes along one side of the house, and he says they’re from carpenter bees, but they’re gone. Apparently carpenter bees make a small round hole and they’re really not dangerous or destructive. Only the female stings, so every one you see is statistically probably a male, harmless and not aggressive. The larger holes we are seeing are from woodpeckers trying to get to the larve.

His suggestion is to putty the holes, paint them, and then in May, put up a carpenter bee trap. 👍🏻

The next step is getting our radon results back, and those are due from the general inspector tomorrow. MisterMoonbeam and I also have to travel to Frederick in the morning, to meet with the IRS as he needs paperwork on one of his tax returns from a few years ago. Apparently the year his wife was hospitalized before she passed, he never filed taxes. He actually was able to recover the forms online, all filled out, but she didn’t sign it so he never submitted it. An oversight. We’re told it won’t be difficult to correct, but we need to get it done for the lender!
 
House update:

The radon test came back elevated, so that now requires remediation. From what I’ve seen online it can cost $800-$2500. It’s not required by the lender, and I think it’s kinda crazy they are okay with accepting a potential cancer haven. Oh well, I guess! We are going to pay out of pocket ourselves after closing to fix this. I’ve reached out to a couple of places for quotes. From what I understand, it’s a long term health hazard and not so much an immediate one. The gas stays below ground and it should clear out fast once ventilated.

Our trip to Frederick today to meet with the IRS was actually helpful, and MisterMoonbeam was able to submit the paperwork that the lender needed, later in the afternoon. We have a few more documents to wrangle, and then our file will be ready for underwriting. We need to get the gift letter from his parents (they’re giving us $4000 to pay the increased earnest money that the seller asked for - so stupid, because we get it back at closing and it has no impact on the seller at all so it’s just a hassle. I don’t know why they wanted it.) and I think the lender is asking for pictures of our licenses? It’s really not much and nothing that is going to cause much stress. We have everything else turned in, I think. MisterMoonbeam has been ON POINT with knocking out the paperwork list.

This evening my bestie came over and helped me finish boxing up the rest of the sunporch, so my weekly packing goal was met. Whoo hoo! Next week I think I’m going to have a tough time - I have the craft room, DarkKnight’s office and the space under the stairs on my schedule. There’s just not enough hours in the day. Wish me luck!

Tomorrow I believe we will be telling the lender to order the appraisal. I created a new sheet to stick to the fireplace wall - a list of all of the stuff we need to do before moving. The appraisal is the next step.

Creating the list made me realize though that I needed to help my mom with some financial things ASAP, so I’m now headed to NY and back tomorrow. I’m fucking irritated because I should have realized earlier that I would need to go to NY, and going last minute like this is nuts. DarkKnight came to my rescue and he’s going to do the drive with me. We are leaving at ass o’clock and then coming right back. It’s going to suck, but I am happy he will be coming along!
 
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