Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

IMG_1742.jpeg

Hickies, vampire bites, love marks - yeah, my neck is still bruised and it’s still a little swollen. 😂 I’m glad the biopsy is complete even though it looks like I’m a mess!

My blood test results are back, and they too, are a mess.

I went to the lab this morning and I was surprised the results were back so quickly. They’re strange AF though, honestly. I’m looking forward to my appointment in the 6th with the endocrinologist so she can explain this.

My TSH is dead center normal. My T4 free is also normal. My thyroid peroxidase antibodies are 93.1 - ELEVATED. Huh? Hashimoto’s has been mentioned in the past but IDK. The last few times my TSH has been taken, it’s all over the place. Up as high as 5.5 and now it’s 3.6. It’s not a straight path - the history is literally a jagged lightning bolt.

My lipids are not good, but I think if they give me time, they will be better. I don’t want to go on statins, so I’m hoping if we get my thyroid issue squared up and I’m able to start using my gym by the time Fall begins, I can improve the numbers.

Cholesterol: 196
Triglycerides: 197
HDL: 34
LDL: 123
Non-HDL Cholesterol: 162

I just had these run this past November, and at that time, everything was where it should be, normal. But since then, the numbers all increased, except for the HDL, which went down. I’m eating much healthier, so that’s kind of crazy! Though maybe it has to do with my stress levels and my being in recovery and not moving as much?
 
Menopause is a b####. My NP LOVES my recently aquired menopause big tits and belly...me nope. I guess as women we have been told that our bodies are never good enough. Have children..then we have 'ruined' bodies. Don't have them then we are 'selfish'. Gain weight, lose weight...tits aren't perky blah blah. Sometimes I have to stop myself and think is it what I want ...or what I have been indoctrinated to think. Not an answer but I feel for you xx
 
Menopause is a bitch! Spell it out, it's okay!
 
Brazen said:
Menopause is a b####. My NP LOVES my recently aquired menopause big tits and belly...me nope. I guess as women we have been told that our bodies are never good enough. Have children..then we have 'ruined' bodies. Don't have them then we are 'selfish'. Gain weight, lose weight...tits aren't perky blah blah. Sometimes I have to stop myself and think is it what I want ...or what I have been indoctrinated to think. Not an answer but I feel for you xx
Click to expand...
It’s crazy because I am losing weight in spite of being in menopause now. Though it’s been interesting - my weight loss has definitely slowed down since going on the Mounjaro, so it could be it’s keeping me from gaining. This morning I checked and I’m now at 187.

I’ll be switched to the 5.0 on Tuesday and I’ve been told the pounds will melt off then. I’m not excited about it but we will see, I suppose!
 
Right there with ya. Started Mounjaro 2.5 and figure my endoc will bump me to 5.0 after the next visit.

Hang in there. Navigating health things and the doc appt parade can be wearying.

GG
 
Last edited:
Bluebird said:
I've tried to start a blog here quite a few times, but always get distracted before hitting submit. Hopefully by beginning with a bit of cut and paste from my already existing threads, I can at least get the first entry here off into the ether, finally!

My husband and I started talking about opening up our marriage at the beginning of July, after about 8 years of being together as a mono couple.

I was married once before for almost 10 years, and it ended in divorce for many reasons, but one being that my ex-husband was happy with having sex once a month, and I wasn't.

My husband now is happy with sex about once a week, but my drive has always been much stronger - I would prefer once a day, or more, if I could stop chaffing. :) Over the years, we've struggled with our mismatched needs and he has been very accommodating with both helping me masturbate and trying to increase his libido to keep up with me. When we do have sex, he is giving and caring and very attentive to my every need - the only complaint I have is the quantity, not the quality.

I have never wanted my husband to feel inadequate or that there is something wrong with him. I actually see it as more as a deficit within myself, to be honest. I've done a lot of reading about sex addictions and nymphos, but I don't believe I am at that level of horny. Lol i'm not addicted to porn or cheating. However, I was able to recognize in my first marriage that once a month was woefully inadequate for my needs. So this has been an issue from the very start of our marriage together - my husband knew that I need some sort of sexual release once a day, and we've worked really hard on communicating about how this effects our relationship. It has really put a strain on us in some ways because sometimes I feel he is just going through the motions, to make sure I'm happy. I don't want pity sex. That isn't sexy, or satisfying to me. We have had tons of talks about this, for years.

So, to sum all that backstory up, right now he is wanting to remain mono, himself, and has been feeling lots of compersion as I move forward as being poly. Neither of us is bi, and we aren't interested in 3somes or swinging. Though I am continuing to encourage my husband to think about it, he so far is ok with being mono.

I started out trying to put together a relationship with a mutual single guy friend of ours, which lasted a couple of weeks and was, quite frankly, torturous for me emotionally. This guy was extremely mono, and was all over the place with his feelings for me. In the end, he told me he was never really attracted to me at all and though I don't believe that - he did some damage to my self esteem while we were together.

Regrouping from that, I put up a profile on okcupid and then went on two dates with a guy, B, who was single and said he was open to poly. I enjoyed going out with him, but I cut him off soon after meeting M, who is my current boyfriend.
Click to expand...
It's exactly the same with my wife and me. She wants sex about 5 times a week and I want sex about 5 times a year. We both really love each other, but it was adding pressure to both of us, so she had a couple of one night stands to satisfy her needs. But eventually we opened up our marriage. She’s now got a long-term boyfriend that she stays with during the week. I love her, he loves her, and she loves us both. It’s perfect.
 
Pippa said:
It's exactly the same with my wife and me. She wants sex about 5 times a week and I want sex about 5 times a year. We both really love each other, but it was adding pressure to both of us, so she had a couple of one night stands to satisfy her needs. But eventually we opened up our marriage. She’s now got a long-term boyfriend that she stays with during the week. I love her, he loves her, and she loves us both. It’s perfect.
Click to expand...
I am glad you find something that works for you both! :)
 
IMG_1805.jpeg

I picked up MisterMoonbeam at the airport yesterday afternoon, and I am so happy to have him home.

IMG_1837.jpeg

We talked a bit about his early November trip to Arizona, and whether I will go with him. Much like this trip, it’s still impossible for me to schedule until closer to the date - I don’t know where my health will be at that point! Originally he was planning for a week but after this trip, he’s thinking it will be two! He has some new subordinates on his team there that he needs to spend time with in person, and the person he has managing the people there has a bunch of stuff they need to discuss, I guess.

I don’t know that I would go for the entire time, even if I went. I would miss DarkKnight too much!!
 
Pippa said:
We call them love bites in England, my wife often comes home with them, that’s a sign of sexual satisfaction x
Click to expand...
They’re marks from my biopsy! 😂😂
 
Feeling myself today, which was a nice change from earlier this week, when I felt like a troll.

IMG_1895.jpeg

I really need to talk more with my therapist about this - I’m having difficulty accepting these changes. I’ve always had real trouble with my ankles and how terribly ill-proportioned they are with the rest of my body. I mean, I’m shaped like a potato - a plastic grocery bag full of mashed potatoes - but they’re like…bones. Now with my weight loss I feel like the bones in my legs have become more prominent, and I don’t like that either. I’m dealing with it though.

Part of that has become documenting with my outfit-of-the-day photos. Definitely when I go back and look at these from last week, or last year, or four years ago, I can see what I was worried about is a baseless anxiety. It helps.

Sometimes.

I don’t have like, an eating disorder or anything. It’s definitely a dysmorphia. I feel like specific parts of me don’t belong and look wrong.

That wasn’t today though. I felt attractive! I managed to use my new foam hair donuts too. I bought them a little bit ago and I’ve had trouble making them work! Today they went on and I was able to pop them over my pigtails and make space buns, no problem. So that was nice!

An online friend attended the Utah Ren Faire this weekend and she managed to purchase two vests for MisterMoonbeam and two matching wench corsets for me. I am so excited - these will work beautifully for Mythicon! The green & black I am especially excited to use as part of our “Blackbird Manor” themed outfits!
IMG_1912.jpeg
I posted some more of my own garb up for sale and sold two shirts, which I will mail out tomorrow, and set up a trade. I’m giving away my iridescent paisley wench and in return I’m getting a navy blue & white vixen. I love this pattern - it reminds me of a coloring book! I don’t mind trading the wench since it doesn’t fit, and I did just get an iridescent paisley vixen with a hood. So it’s all good!

IMG_1914.jpeg

I have several new pieces on the way now and I’m kinda on hold as I wait to see what skirt I get sent from the “Mystery Sale” last week. If it’s not what I need to match the iridescent paisley (you could make a request, so I did!) I will be making an immediate purchase of a copper Gitana skirt from Moresca, so I will have a completed outfit to wear.

I really need to sit down and make a list of what I have and what I need for my upcoming events!
 
Last edited:
It’s last week of August! I woke up feeling down but I have a plan for the day.

I’ve had my Olly fiber gummy rings and a Fairlife Core Power vanilla shake, and my morning water (one Yeti cup) with Miralax mixed into it. I’ve completed my daily games that I share with DarkKnight & MisterMoonbeam (Wordle, The New York Times Mini, Strands, Connections and Metazooa). I got the lowest number in Metazooa so that was a little boost for me. Lol

I’ve been texting with TheEngineer and he just booked us an escape room in Arundel Mills as part of a date day tomorrow.

I’m going to shower in a few minutes and then go mail out the shirts & corset that are being rehomed. I also need to go to CVS and pick up my new prescription for Mounjaro - I’ve been increased to the 5.0 dose, which I will take for the first time tomorrow night.

I’m planning on having lunch at home today unless MisterMoonbeam says something soon. He’s late feeding the cats lunch but they’re not complaining yet.

On Wednesday I’m hosting a girls gaming afternoon and on Thursday I am escorting patients for the first time at the abortion clinic downtown. Then right after, I have therapy scheduled. On Friday I am spending the day in Berkeley Springs with MisterMoonbeam. We’ve booked private whirlpool time (clothing optional!) and a couples massage! I’m also excited to do some exploring in their shops - I haven’t been there in a few years!
 
Ugh so my depressed mood has not improved. It cost way more than I had anticipated to mail the stuff I sold, though I was able to pick up my prescription without any issues.

I tried doing some retail therapy but that didn’t help much. I got an email from Stitch Fix and I saw that one of my favorite floral tunics was on sale, so I snagged that since the one I used to own got donated for being too large. I also had a message from Torrid and there are some gorgeous slinky dresses on sale that remind me of the 90s and that would be perfect for upcoming Emo Karaoke in October! However, I was nervous about buying those online so I will wait to look in person the next time I go to the mall for a pedicure. I’m overdue but I haven’t felt like going. Maybe I will go on Thursday, so my toes are cute for the whirlpool on Friday. Lol

DarkKnight came home from work and he was slightly put out by M&T Bank. They sent him a 0% credit card pre-approval last week but then gave him a “wait & see” message instead of an instant card. Was a little irritated at the time too, as we’ve had a long banking relationship with them over the years - both business and personal. They held our mortgage for a while on the old house!

Anyway, last night he was complaining that they sent him an email asking for further information about where our income comes from. He didn’t want to provide the info, saying that he was getting a bad vibe, and screw them. I told him to just send the verification, and he did. Well today they sent a message again, saying he was approved and to expect the new card in a few business days. He was disdainful since they didn’t tell him the credit limit.

I was like, does it even matter? Whatever it is, I will transfer some balances around to keep his score at optimum and get rid of some interest being assessed from other cards. He’s not actually going to be dealing with anything, I will. lol Then I told him to just check his mobile banking app if he was concerned! Of course it was there - $18,000 limit.

Ok, DarkKnight. 😂 You okay now? 😂

Anyway, that made me happy too because I should be able to consolidate a few smaller cards and of course no interest means the payment schedule I’ve planned on will be much improved.

But then, this means I need to do math. 😂 That’s a future Bluebird problem. I can wait til the card arrives to figure things out.

Here’s my picture of the day.

IMG_1936.jpeg
 
Today was really bad for me in the beginning. I overslept and was feeling lousy. I got up and saw that I had lost another full pound, so I’m now sitting at 186. I got a little weepy because I started feeling like my body is not my body. When I began to get dressed, one of my tshirts was fitting too big and this upset me more because it was one of the shirts I just recently started to wear again, as it had been in storage and hadn’t fit since 2013. Now it doesn’t fit again, but that’s because I’m smaller.

I tried on at least half a dozen outfits this morning and I didn’t like how anything looked. I felt very unattractive and every part I focused on was just strange. Then I realized I was also freezing, which made me feel some sort of way because hey, menopause bullshit.

Eventually I chose pants and a lightweight pullover hoodie, which I hated because it was supposed to get up to 90 degrees today. However, I had to get going because I was then late for a date day with TheEngineer. I refused to try on anything else!

IMG_1967.jpeg

I ended up not getting this photo of the day until after I returned home. Anyway, I was distracted on our date and I soon forgot my discomfort in with what I was wearing. I didn’t get overheated since we were indoors - we went to the Arundel Mills mall and did an escape room there.

We didn’t finish within the allotted time, but since the business wasn’t busy, the game master let us play until we completed it. Literally, it was like just a few minutes over. We then had lunch at Nando’s and talked a bunch. We did walk around the mall and I bought 3 pairs of earrings at a couple of different places.

We both committed to seeing each other again soon - lately it’s been once every two weeks or so. I am actually okay with this as we aren’t having sex due to my recovery, and I’m not really motivated to deepen our emotional connection at the moment. I’m happy with our level of communication and support. He’s a very nice guy and I like spending time with him.

After dinner, MisterMoonbeam came and gave me snuggles for a while, as I was fairly wiped after my day out and about. He gave me my shot for the week. It’s my first 5.0 dose of the Mounjaro and I’m nervous about being up a level from having the 2.5 for 8 weeks! I’m also excited to see improvement in my blood glucose levels. I’m hoping that my weight loss continues at this slower level. I mean, I lost so much more on my own before starting this medication! I like it being slower now. I have 19 pounds more to lose to be in the “normal” weight category for my height. Right now I’m still considered overweight.

Tonight my body dysmorphia was gone. It’s so interesting how it works. I was updating my inspiration board on the Stitch Fix app and part of that is posting photos of myself to thank the stylist and so she can see how I’m wearing the pieces she suggested. I looked at the pictures and thought, hey, I look cute! So whatever, I guess.

Taking a photo of the day wasn’t suggested by my therapist; I started doing it as a joke during Covid. However, the guy I was seeing previously for therapy said he thought it probably would help to review when I was in a positive headspace, and to say positive things aloud about each photo. It does help, so I am going to continue doing it.

Here is a compilation over the last few days - which I’ve posted previously on an individual basis as compared to me last August/September before I started this whole mess. I’ve now lost a total of 35 pounds exactly.

Before:
IMG_1988.jpeg

After:
IMG_1977.jpeg
 
Last edited:
I pooped today! Yay! I’m not sure if it’s a side effect of the 5.0 Mounjaro or if my body finally decided to let it happen, but I’m really glad it happened! I haven’t pooped on my own in over a week - I had MisterMoonbeam give me an enema on Sunday night and Monday night because I was really crampy and bloated. Just soooo uncomfortable. I’m taking Miralax every morning and honestly, if I hadn’t gone on my own today, I was going to up my dose to taking it twice a day. 💩 💩

I’m home alone today and not liking that, but mostly I’ve been thinking of long term plans and budgeting in my head. I’m still waiting for my Mystery skirt purchase to arrive, and it’s sorta starting to stress me out. If I don’t receive a copper one, I will be buying a Moresca skirt instead but I’m fairly certain that that one wouldn’t arrive until after I attend the PA Ren Faire on the 7th. So I might have to swap around my outfit plans.
 
I got my Damsel in this Dress mystery skirt, and it was not the copper one I was hoping for, unfortunately. I have ordered from Moresca, and I sent them an email asking for expedited shipping. We will see if they can get it here before next Saturday! I need to figure out something if that doesn’t work.

The skirt I did receive is the other option I asked for - a fairy skirt in “safety yellow.” I would never buy this at full price, but I was kinda hoping to get it, because it would be perfect for Emo Karaoke! I’m super excited to pair it with my skull-embroidered black cropped Vixen corset, a new black matte & shiny stripe wench corset I bought last week, and with my Docs and black fishnets. It’s going to look cool AF and totally badass.

IMG_2121.jpeg

I was also sent a FREE bonus skirt - a rainbow mini tulip. I will definitely use this on some occasion. It was a great surprise to get a skirt for free!

IMG_2120.jpeg

My morning on Thursday doing the abortion clinic escorting went well. I honestly enjoyed the experience and will be going back to do it again. At first I was stationed at the door, and it was my job to let the clients in, follow them into the lobby, and then help them center themselves if needed. I’d apologize for the protestors, explain that they were not medical professionals and that they yell at everyone, unfortunately. Then I’d let them know that the clinic door is *right there* and they could take all of the time they needed before going in. I could wait with them, or I could go back out on the front stoop, no worries.

The first client burst into tears but recollected herself fairly quick, and the rest went right inside. I was really proud to be of service.

Halfway through, I was stationed out on the sidewalk to act as sort of a blocker. When women approached the clinic, protesters would start screaming “Don’t kill your baby! God loves you! Don’t turn away from the Lord!” Other volunteers and I would step in front of the protestors with our backs to them, and we’d walk alongside the clients so they were mostly out of view from the jerkfaces.

At times the protesters would try to engage me in conversation by asking me how many dead babies did I think I was now directly responsible for, and a few times they told me to make better decisions and go home. lol

One really thing I thought was fucking ballsy is a black chick was coming over and this one loud lady started screaming that All Lives Matter at her. I thought she was about to get knocked out by this chick. The client got PISSED and was like, “My baby’s already dead you bitch, I’m here for follow up care!” And then the protester told her she needed to get right with god.

I don’t think it’s cool to try and legislate health care decisions, and it’s even less cool to try to actively block and shame people for making choices that you personally wouldn’t. Abortion is now illegal in both Pennsylvania and West Virginia, and for many women, our local clinic is their only option. Again, I enjoyed being of assistance. It wasn’t fun, but it felt very necessary. I believe in doing necessary things when needed.

My therapist had canceled my session that afternoon, so I went home and took a nap, and watched a few episodes of My So-Called Life. When DarkKnight came home, my daughter BugGirl came over and she had bought me a little mushroom decor piece while on vacation. We talked a bit, and then she left. My polycule then went and played trivia at a local bar, and we won, beating out 3 other teams, including one of 6 of our friends. That was fun!

I got this new slip dress from Torrid on Wednesday.

IMG_2076.jpeg

What’s crazy is that I wanted to buy a flannel shirt or SOMETHING to wear over it, but everything was too large. I’m usually a 2 at Torrid, but this dress is a 0! The shirts needed to be a 00 to fit, but they were out of that size in everything I attempted to make work. I think my days are numbered at this store chain!

Anyway, I wore the new dress today, when out with MisterMoonbeam. We went on a day trip to Berkeley Springs.

IMG_2084.jpeg

We spent the first part of the day having lunch at a coffee shop and then visited various little shops in town. We had reservations for private naked time in a whirlpool bath at a spa, and then followed that with a couples massage and dinner out.

IMG_2097.jpeg
 
Last edited:
powerpuffgrl1969 said:
What you did at that abortion clinic was incredibly important; I admire that.
Click to expand...
Thanks! It felt important and worthwhile. I will definitely do it again. I now own a bright orange high-vis vest that says “Pro-Choice Clinic Escort” on it!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top